Hello Fatties.
Internet hero JMG has just got home from another success outdoors.
Please make something up or moan at top speed whilst I go brush my teeth.
I have perfect teeth.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

I fucking hate you and your perfect fucking teeth.
My teeth have given me nothing but fucking grief and pain for the last 4 years. I just had my wisdom teeth out. All four of them. my face is all puffy and chipmunk like. You cunt. Why aren't my teeth perfect too?

Glad to hear you had a good day though :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Sometimes the dentists says "You really DO have smashing teeth, there".
He's right, you know..
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

There was nothing wrong with them health wise
I just had an overbite and teeth that wouldn't come through. :( They're lovely and white and even.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

Hello JMG,
Bluestar, Foldsfive, Druid and Malchick are here.

BS and FF are going to Brighton soon.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Have you rigged the room with explosives?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

Is this your way of telling us you've just been to Asda and now have some toothpaste?
Which brand?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Baldgate.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

I'm going to start buying Colgate now.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

I'm going to get my haircut
by a flamboyant man who wears Prada. GOSH he's good.
( moohalaa, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

You be careful there.
There's a great puffter & Handsome Gav story we really should share over BEER some time.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

He's jolly smashing and well worth the money.
Beer, I miss beer. I should order some more boozeless beer online.
( moohalaa, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

You flimsy handed love sponge.
Get some REAL beer. With BEER in.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

Flimsy!?
How dare you!
I'm sitting here in a multicolored teeshirt with a Dead Sea mud facemask on.
I'm the pinnacle of modern masculinity.
( moohalaa, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

Hello JMG. I am in my office
doing my time sheets in order to get paid for last weeks work. Mrs HB is in the kitchen making food and doing the women's work.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

I applaud this.
I applaud this fully.
Well played, the Team HB.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

JMG, I am very hungover
:(
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

Chin up. Water in.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

I don't have any moans JMG.
Watching saturday kitchen and thinking about the leftover tandoori chicken in the fridge that will make a nice sandwich. yum yum.

How are you?
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

Splendid indeed.
I, being incredibly famous on the internet. Was smuggled in to a hotel last night.
I've totally slept and not paid a dime.

Another victory on the road.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

I am trying to watch a film
but the couple next door are throwing things at each other

I'd like to open a "projectile marriage counselling centre" where enraged couples throw stuff at each other in a safe environment
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

Like soft play but for fat wives.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

WHERES MY BIRTHDAY MESSAGE, JMG

(__, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

I WISH TO VALIDATE THIS DAY'S EXISTANCE. POSSIBLY GOING AS FAR AS PUNCHING THE FAT GENTLEMAN SAT NEXT TO ME, IN THE ARM.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

AND MANY MOOOOOOORE

(__, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

I've now hit him three times.
I'm making up for missed Friz birthdays of yesteryear.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

Can I give you one instead?

( thealternativefact, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

No offence, but who the fuck are you?

(__, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

Are you old enough for Alzheimer's yet?

( thealternativefact, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

I was considering attending the Chap Olympiad this afternoon.
but £15 for a ticket? they can cock off.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)

Break in.
Top hat, tails, win the 100m RARR.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

I need to phone my boss to say all the stuff has gone down the shitter

I might wear a cape to help steel myself
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Any trouble. Add me as a reference to your C.V.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

I should be doing work that im not getting paid for
but instead i am procrastinating by delurking for the first time in ages.
(zombiejosh wrow, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

I'm preparing fresh vegetables that I just harvested from the garden.
Primarily to upset the deep-fried fatberdeens.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:41, archived)

I'm making a scene on their behalf.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

my teeth are fucking fantastic
my weekend has gone to shit. anyone fancy the zoo with me?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)

Can't...
but have made Gonz promise to sort out a dinner date for you, me and him sometime.
( thealternativefact, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

i do not bash :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

I know. He told me.
If you don't come, we can eat your food.
( thealternativefact, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

sounds like a recipe for disaster
you giant Rhino.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)