The opening titles show a slightly overweight sweaty balding chap
at his computer, tap tap tap, tap tappety tap, tap tap, his mum comes in with a tray of tea and biscuits, Colin Prick turns to face his mum, the camera zooms in on his face and he smiles awkwardly, his teeth aren't that clean.
COLIN PRICK filmed in front of a live studio audience.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:28, archived)

I'm calling it, here.
Colin Prick is to be played by James Corden.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:29, archived)

themetune by mumford and sons

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)

I like that song where they swear.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:31, archived)

Script by the talented writers behind hit BBC sitcom Hyperdrive.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:32, archived)

Chris Barrie plays his dad.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)

Miranda Hart's his mum.
Well, a CGI model of her face is glued to the door with semen.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:45, archived)

poor ssg, it's like that sitcom on bb2 at the moment with those green wing people, he's idea is getting ruined

( mongychops, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:47, archived)

i totally get that programme now!
anyway, i was gonna go for a more david lynch sort of feel about the whole thing anyway, lots of long boring bits of him just doing dull stuff to mad laughter tracks, for example.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:59, archived)

get that camera out of my house

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:29, archived)

Fuck off and die you spastic nonce cunt

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)

It's cowfoot's birthday.
He can say what he wants and I'm inclined to agree with it because it's his birthday.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:31, archived)

Colin Prick's face reddens as his tap tap tapping slows down to a halt.
He turns to the audience, "Well I'll be darned, if people aren't just the RUDEST on the internet!"
*uproarious laughtering*
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:32, archived)

*uproarious laughtering*
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)

yeh look, i figured that there is only really silence immediately after any joke Colin Prick makes,
mad laughter pretty much the rest of the time
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)

it needs an imaginary love interest

( mongychops, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)

And a forum of people that don't care to be told about it incessantly.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:39, archived)

I think he's taking the QOTW route of 'if you lie about it enough, people will start to believe it'

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:42, archived)

it should be a poster on the wall of carol vordeman from the early years of countdown, he could talk to the poster
( vladimir, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:40, archived)

I'm picturing the poster being placed above a wank shrine where he keeps each ejaculation in a labelled jar.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:43, archived)

For added realism, there should always be a can of 'Wild Civet' deodorant and a stained t-shirt in camerashot.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:56, archived)

i saw a gross image off like 4chan or something,
a guy had collected all his spunk in bottles, over a series of years, you should look that up.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:00, archived)

All things considered, I think I'd really rather not.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:02, archived)

Thanks for the tip though, I like to know what kind of internet I'm missing out on.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:02, archived)

http://4chanarchive.org/images/183847526/1261878859013.jpg
no hotlinking i would think
( mongychops, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:04, archived)

you could keep it in shower gel bottles and then when someone used your shower,
before they realised it'd be too late.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:09, archived)