but you are only a short ferry ride from the tropical paradise island of Wight
(is the spinnaker subsidised for locals to allow them to jump off the top?)
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:48, archived)

I'm from there :(
I went there last year for the first time in ages. If it's possible, it's got even more depressing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:50, archived)

Not been there in ages, but I want to go over on the hovercraft, get on the funny little tube train and go for a walk on the downs around Ventnor
When I went there a few years ago, a mate asked if we could get duty free on the ferry. He was serious too.

Are you from Ventnor? Do you have downs?
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:54, archived)

Funnily enough, we always stop at the hovercraft terminal when one's coming in...sad really
No, not from Ventnor...Ryde. And no, don't have Downs.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:05, archived)

hovercraft are great though.

( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, archived)

They are great aren't they?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:12, archived)

I was in Deal recently and read something about how when the cross channel hovercraft were struggling to make money
they used to run day trips to the Goodwin Sands (sand banks in the middle of the English Channel, site of many shipwrecks, exposed at low tide) for people to go and picnic and play cricket. That'd have been brilliant.
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:16, archived)

What a cool idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:17, archived)

maybe we should TWOC a hovercraft from Portsmouth and set ourselves up in business.

( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:18, archived)

YEAH!
One of the forts out in the Solent is still uninhabited I think...we could use that as a base of operations.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:20, archived)

that Napoleonic one? being turned into a hotel I think
but we shouldn't let that stop us. Hoist the Jolly Roger, Cap'n hats!

hotel casino, bizarrely. news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8302593.stm
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, archived)

AVAST!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:30, archived)

AVAST BEHIND!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)

You are a cruel man
I prefer to refer to myself as bootylicious
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:49, archived)

I prefer AVG, ho ho.
*waits for kewpie to come along and post why Avast is better than AVG only to fail to convince anyone of anything other than his unprecedented levels of autism*
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:53, archived)

I'd go for one of these:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maunsell_Forts

They're like big aquatic AT-ATs
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:31, archived)

Awesome
Isn't someone a King of one of those or something? Am I making any sense at all?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:34, archived)

www.sealandgov.org/history.html
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:41, archived)

Hooray!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:43, archived)

'King Roy of Sealand'
gotta be the shittest royal title EVA!

although ironically 'Roy' comes from Roi.
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:44, archived)

Sealand is a terrible name too
I'd be King Emperor of Greatland
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:50, archived)

King Awesome Hats The Third of Awesomeland \o/

( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:52, archived)

or:
His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Doctor Two Hats, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:55, archived)

Now THAT is dignified

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:00, archived)

for a mass murderer, yes.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idi_Amin#Erratic_behaviour.2C_self-bestowed_titles.2C_and_media_portrayal
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:02, archived)

A man who knew what he wanted, and went out and got it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)

No-one will read this far out
EVERYONE IS A CUNT
( Theoban What of it, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:06, archived)

Hey, you're right
I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS OF MANOLITH HAVING SEX WITH BALDMONKEY WHILE BINKY WATCHES AND MASTURBATES WITH A ROLLED UP MAGAZINE...FROM THE PHOTO IT LOOKS LIKE A 'TAKE A BREAK'
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:08, archived)

Yeah so what
Everyone's seen that
I'm sick of seeing binky's fanny
( Theoban What of it, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:09, archived)

what about baldmonkey's shrivelled winky?

( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)

Oh I love seeing that
It's so WAKI
( Theoban What of it, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:15, archived)

At least when it does make an appearance it means 6 more weeks of winter

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:16, archived)

Really? I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at it
It's such a weird colour
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:12, archived)

It does have a certain ring to it...

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:55, archived)

King Awesome Hats the First of Awesomeland was you too, as was King Awesome Hats the Second of Awesomeland
but you were so awesome they decided unanimously to give you a couple more coronations.
( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)

Is it pronounced Dill, or Dee-al? I go for Dee-al, but whenever I speak to someone from there they say it as Dill. True story.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:22, archived)

grundisburgh. or hollesley.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:23, archived)

I've always known it as deal as in deal or no deal

( spesh., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:25, archived)