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is there anything in your feeble life that does?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:19, archived)
He makes a mean cup of tea.
Before you all snort with derision, it counts. I am fed up of hiring kids who can't make tea. It's not even difficult.

Oh fuck off, I'm allowed to be grumpy and beat up on kids on a Sunday afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:21, archived)
My unfeasably large memory of dead baby jokes is a hit with the single mums.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:23, archived)
His local subway staff would miss him bitching about the wrong dressing on his lunch.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:30, archived)
Ah, they'd just make him another one to replace it.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:33, archived)
He screams racist abuse at them till they do.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:37, archived)
Oh Adam and his racism.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 18:53, archived)
I bet he knows all their first names, and asks them how their weekends were
while they're thinking "fucking hell, our managers make us do small talk to the customers, but this prick's doing it for fun, christ, I hate my job, I wish I hadn't quit uni now".
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:37, archived)
They know me as 'the wrap guy' there.
It's nice to be recognised sometimes. Puts a real spring in my step
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:39, archived)
you know this isn't a good thing, right?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:50, archived)
It isn't, I know
But there's just nothing else to eat near the office that of any real (relative) nutritional value, so I go there every day, have a wrap for two quid and it sets me up for the rest of the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:53, archived)
Don't you need a degree to work there these days?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:52, archived)
Meeting different people every day, was one of better parts of the job.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 18:40, archived)
No such thing as the wrong dressing there
as they are all tasty.
Mmm, subway wraps
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 17:38, archived)