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I favour the "if I'm going to see you on the day, what's the point of getting you a card?" approach,
but my mum holds to the "if you don't get them a mushy card with an overlong sentimental poem, you don't really care about them" philosophy. I'd just as soon not bother, but I hate to see her cry (she once broke down in tears after I disagreed with her views on asylum seekers, so she's a fragile sort).
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)
your mum needs to understand that they can't burn asylum seekers in order to solve the energy crisis

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)
really....shit
*rewrites manifesto*
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:02, archived)
don't waste the paper, turn your first go over and write on the back

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:05, archived)
very green of you vlad.
unfortunatley though I had written my manifesto in oil on a hillside and set fire to it. Bit of a drain on resources...
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:06, archived)
well at least use the other side of the hill for the second draft then eh

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:08, archived)
what an excellent problem solver you are
do you want a position in my political party?
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:10, archived)
I am really not the droid you're looking for

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:31, archived)
That's not a million miles from her position.
She hopes that I'll come round to her way of thinking when I've got more life experience, obviously working on the "being old makes you more racist" principle.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:05, archived)
fuck that - you want to hear the conversations i here at work on a daily basis...

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:07, archived)
I can imagine.
When I worked in Kent, most conversations at work would begin with "I'm not racist but...".
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:11, archived)
You'd love fat Phil in the workshop.
His favourite story is the one where him and his mates "chased a coon while throwing chicken at him"
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)
fried chicken right?

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:43, archived)
He sounds lovely. I hope the chicken was unharmed?
Bloke at my place told me his favourite joke ("What's red and yellow and looks good on a Paki?"), then apologised, telling me that he knew it was bad, but he was too old to change (he was 28). He looked like Dave The Hat.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:43, archived)
But what is red and yellow?

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:49, archived)
A frog in a blender!
No, not really, the answer was fire. Immolating ethnic minorities passes for humour in my home town.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:54, archived)