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I'm not normally one to bemoan the decline of society,
but I've just been into Clinton's to but some Mothers' Day cards, and the have "for my wife" and "from the dogs" cards. Have some serious taboos been broken down?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:14, archived)
dog fucking has been celebrated since the Roman times
and also, summer is coming which means Love Day is nearly here.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:17, archived)
it's got to be warm and fuzzy, like uhh, love day, but not so lame

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:22, archived)
I hope I get Lord Huggington this year

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:27, archived)
why would dogs send each other cards, that's fucking stupid

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:19, archived)
i tend to bemoan the decline of society on a daily basis
i gave up on cards years ago, bottle of wine and box of ferrero rocher, job done
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:21, archived)
I favour the "if I'm going to see you on the day, what's the point of getting you a card?" approach,
but my mum holds to the "if you don't get them a mushy card with an overlong sentimental poem, you don't really care about them" philosophy. I'd just as soon not bother, but I hate to see her cry (she once broke down in tears after I disagreed with her views on asylum seekers, so she's a fragile sort).
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)
your mum needs to understand that they can't burn asylum seekers in order to solve the energy crisis

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)
really....shit
*rewrites manifesto*
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:02, archived)
don't waste the paper, turn your first go over and write on the back

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:05, archived)
very green of you vlad.
unfortunatley though I had written my manifesto in oil on a hillside and set fire to it. Bit of a drain on resources...
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:06, archived)
well at least use the other side of the hill for the second draft then eh

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:08, archived)
what an excellent problem solver you are
do you want a position in my political party?
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:10, archived)
I am really not the droid you're looking for

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:31, archived)
That's not a million miles from her position.
She hopes that I'll come round to her way of thinking when I've got more life experience, obviously working on the "being old makes you more racist" principle.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:05, archived)
fuck that - you want to hear the conversations i here at work on a daily basis...

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:07, archived)
I can imagine.
When I worked in Kent, most conversations at work would begin with "I'm not racist but...".
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:11, archived)
You'd love fat Phil in the workshop.
His favourite story is the one where him and his mates "chased a coon while throwing chicken at him"
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)
fried chicken right?

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:43, archived)
He sounds lovely. I hope the chicken was unharmed?
Bloke at my place told me his favourite joke ("What's red and yellow and looks good on a Paki?"), then apologised, telling me that he knew it was bad, but he was too old to change (he was 28). He looked like Dave The Hat.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:43, archived)
But what is red and yellow?

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:49, archived)
A frog in a blender!
No, not really, the answer was fire. Immolating ethnic minorities passes for humour in my home town.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:54, archived)

it's good that dogs can send cards now, that's why they bite postmen and sit by letterboxes waiting to rip up whatever comes through, it has been pure thwarted jealousy and rage that they couldn't send cards, now every dog in the land is free to send a card to the mods saying "thank you for touching me"
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:03, archived)
monster munch?
Butt munch.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:08, archived)
No need to insult me like that, Windy.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:14, archived)
it's not an insult.
It's the truth.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:32, archived)
Your words wound me deeply.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:36, archived)

your words wound me My tongue goes in to bottoms really
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:37, archived)
I am renowned for my technique, yes.
Thanks for bringing it up.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)
I used to work for them in a former life
My dislike of christmas is partially because of this
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:27, archived)
what accounts for the other aspects of your dislike of christmas?
you can create a pie chart to aid your explanation this if it helps
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:34, archived)
I was raped by an elf

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:34, archived)
how ho-ho-horrible for you

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:36, archived)
It was yule and unusual
wait a minute, are we doing christmas puns in March? Where's Frank?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:37, archived)
did he give you the north pole?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:37, archived)
He made me shake like a bowl full of jelly, if that's what you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)
to save you some time I've done this already
s4.postimg.org/l62zswrn1/clintons.jpg

if you need to jiggle (or jingle!! hahahaha) the percentages a bit go ahead but we've got to get this presentation ready for next week so I thought best to get cracking (or crackering!!!! ahahahahaha)
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:47, archived)
Ah, blocked

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:51, archived)
I knew this presentation was going to go wrong :(

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:53, archived)
The fault is with AT&T, not you
Your efforts are greatly appreciated
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:54, archived)
it's your strong instinct to shift the blame early and shift it hard that make it a pleasure to work with you TH

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:57, archived)
I didn't get where am I today by accepting responsiblity, vlad

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 16:01, archived)
But mostly because your heart is two sizes too small.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:34, archived)
I AM a mean one

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:35, archived)
you're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich, with arsenic sauce

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:37, archived)
Thank you Max

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:38, archived)
I hope you enjoyed that last can of Who Hash.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:38, archived)
spanishfly was having a bit of a moan because you have him on ignore
can you run me by the pros and cons of having spanishfly on ignore so that i can make an informed decision as to whether i should ignore him?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:40, archived)
My reason is because it annoys him
The reason why he deserves this are private.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:43, archived)
how many reason are private?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:48, archived)
9

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:49, archived)
9 years old! that's despicable

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:50, archived)
I apologise for nothing

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:51, archived)
anyway, i've gone ahead and ignored him now
all the cool kids were doing it so i thought i'd join in
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:56, archived)
I....I'm one of the cool kids?
I don't know what to say
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 15:56, archived)
There are no cons, I've had him on ignore for ages and it still upsets him, lulz

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 16:07, archived)