My b3ta account is now old enough to get a tattoo of Professor Chris Whitty
Can't decide if he should be naked on a shark, or guns-a-blazing like Rambo.
( hazzamon I've nothing better to do, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:08, archived)

haha, you should get one of him on a forklift!!
that would be 'for the win'!!!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:14, archived)

not really, fuck off

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:14, archived)

just had a text from my wife who's at the hospital
she has sworn for months that one of her doctors is called 'bellend', turns out it's 'Belen' so not far off.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:24, archived)

*tedious, prickish post from banned poster dozer about funny name corner*

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:24, archived)

You should submit this to the newsletter!!!!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:40, archived)

you should hang yourself in a deserted beauty spot, with your body found several days later by dog walkers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:42, archived)

very seasonal, that's Spanish for 'Bethlehem'
how's she doing?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:36, archived)

well they've told her that unless my kid takes a covid test then isolates until the results (and it's negative) she can't come for xmas
we knew this really - unfortunately her mother is refusing to facilitate the isolation so that's that. However the 'good' news is that because mrs q's condition is so precarious she will be in one of the first groups to be vaccinated, and obv when that's done 'normal' life can resume.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:41, archived)

please like, share and subscribe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:44, archived)

it's so rare to see your ex and the word 'facilitate' in the same sentence
good news for the vaccine though
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:50, archived)

not when it's in conjunction with 'refusing to' it isn't

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:57, archived)

The result is within 24 hrs, hardly a long isolation

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:59, archived)

yeah, it would be really easy were I not dealing with a total fucking cunt

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 12:05, archived)

I've just found one that gives a result with 3hrs
£189 though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 12:10, archived)

Gosh well it's a hard choice haha

( broadsword, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:33, archived)

Why would he be doing either of those things

(dribble, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 10:36, archived)

cheers

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 11:51, archived)

Both. And add some other heroes of popular culture.
E.g. Chris Whitty with Conway Twitty singing a ditty on your titty.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Dec 2020, 15:36, archived)