teh spang!!!
hullo willy-warbler's, Queef Richard's here.

I'm knocking off at 1 and heading into tine for my first non-family social interaction since March. I'm going to hit the substantials until I am thoroughly gherkins and I can. not. wait.

y'araight?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 11:43, archived)

comme ci, comme ca
ordered some booze off of Master of Malt.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 11:50, archived)

what are you getting?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:09, archived)

nothing special, just the London Dry York gin and the chocolate orange one that they do

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:13, archived)

that sounds fucking rank

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:28, archived)

it's for a crimbo pressie innit

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:37, archived)

bullshit it's for you, you massive fucking idiot

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:43, archived)

NO IT ENT YOU BIG FUCKEN WANKER

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:47, archived)

oh do pipe down, there's a dear

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:58, archived)

you started it mate

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 14:00, archived)

yeah, i've got a fairly quiet day, going to have some lunch and then have a little nap

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Dec 2020, 11:50, archived)

sounds pretty chill out+relaxed

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:12, archived)

Your ham shenanigans inspired me to have a ham and mozzarella pizza for lunch, with extra ham

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 11:53, archived)

#haaaam
just look at this stuff, the fat just melts away in your mouth, it's exquisite

brindisa.com/collections/spanish-ham/products/eiriz-iberico-sliced-ham-100g
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:10, archived)

fantastic, I've only ever had the real stuff once
got invited to a Christmas bash through a friend of a friend that was hosted by an actual Count, and when we got there for pre-dinner cocktails, there was an entire fucking leg of the stuff just casually lying on the kitchen table.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:17, archived)

alright Reginald Donkeyfuck, nice to have you back

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:18, archived)

it's all about the what colour label the leg has on it - white is the cheapest and black the most costly.
The difference from one end of the scale to the other is £100-odd to £500+

theblackhoof.co.uk/spanish-ham-types/

Another thing I learnt at Ham School is that generic 'serrano ham' is the equivalent of battery chicken
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:27, archived)

huh, you learn something every day
also I now have the "caaaaarliiiiing black label!" jingle in my head
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:35, archived)

I apologise for that.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:44, archived)

'salright

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:45, archived)

John Nettles makes excellent serrano ham, available from his online butchery.

Serrano de Bergerac, it's called.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:57, archived)

proper lol here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:58, archived)

excellent

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 13:00, archived)

o
( broadsword, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 13:14, archived)

you are getting fucking mugged u muppet

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 11 Dec 2020, 5:35, archived)

strikey knocking 1 out
no substantials for me til tomorrow which will be proper gherkins

had my first ms teams interview earlier, feel like my cherries been popped and not in a good way, fuck that noise yo
( broadsword, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:04, archived)

have some ham, m8, that'll see you right

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Dec 2020, 12:17, archived)