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Good afternoon, dickhead's
I did an cycling exercise class that was on YouTube earlier. It was a good way to make me stick to the timing etc but even though I had headphones on and was alone in my loft I still felt like a total fanny doing it, being 'motivated' by some vapid bint telling me that I've 'got this' and that I should 'keep pushing' and so on.

When was the last time *you* felt like a total fanny?

Alternatively, have you 'got this'? Are you 'pushing'?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:06, archived)
the only thing I've 'got' right now is flatulence, and there's no way I'm gambling by 'pushing', not at my age
that's how bad things happen
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:10, archived)
last night I tried Bulgarian split squats for the first time
only to find that I had to hold onto the nearest piece of furniture while doing them to avoid falling over. Felt a bit of a fanny there

also I was working out with a couple of mates years ago and we were psyching up the guy on the bench machine, various yells of "PUSH!" etc., and I said "I can see the head!" and he laughed and dropped the weight

#bantz
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:15, archived)
beasting it up in the pit, there

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:21, archived)
my knees felt beastly afterwards, if that counts

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)
*checks T's and C's*

yes, it does
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:33, archived)
*creaks*

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:35, archived)
alright Yeti., nice to have you back

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)
are you not frenzied with lust yet at the thought of a tooled-up 200 ft Diane Abbott?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:25, archived)
no

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:27, archived)
a 60 foot Carol Vorderman tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:28, archived)
a 30 foot arse circumference

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:31, archived)
in real life, I mean

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:31, archived)
You say that like it's a bad thing.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:51, archived)
I did some squats at the weekend for the first time since before Christmas
and my calfs still fucking ache.

/blog
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:04, archived)
+r

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:39, archived)
I saw a sketch of one of those where the fella is all you got this , then it cuts to s fella and he goes ' john your bollocks are hanging out you shorts again' as the blokes seen tucking them back in, made me lol

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:24, archived)

m.facebook.com/watch/?v=234148990965477&_rdr
(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:26, archived)
there's something weird about hearing a Brit say 'buddy'

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:28, archived)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:32, archived)

hmmm
(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:43, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)
Hahaha

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:09, archived)
lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:28, archived)
something about feeling your nan's total fanny something I've got *this* something something kept pushing something nan again

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:43, archived)
no pran no gran

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)
top work here m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)
not sure I can handle this much anecdote in one go

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:48, archived)
At work, we use an instant messenger system called Q-link
And I noticed the other day that my contacts were a real mess. People who've long since left, etc. So I tidied the list up.
Unbeknownst to me, all the people I 'moved' got put into a group called "(my real name) and Friends". Not only that, they all got a message inviting them to join the group.
I wanted to fucken die, m8. These are people from all around the world. Even had a guy in Hong Kong ask me what was happening. So yes. I felt like a proper fanny
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:02, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8290130
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:07, archived)
oh man :(
you fanny
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:45, archived)
It was bad

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)
Haha, I've just come up with a good one
"Now That's What I Call Covid 19!"

Brilliant, right? I should put this on the main board
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:31, archived)
FP THIS NOW!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:40, archived)
Haha, brilliant!
You could have a track list of songs that are related to like being ill and stuff, that would be really clever!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:47, archived)
Fever by Peggy Lee
How I Could Just Kill a Man by Cypress Hill, feat our forum chum Sen Dog

You know, that kind of stuff!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)
This is solid fucken gold m8
SOLID gold
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:07, archived)
if this doesn't get us into the newsletter NOTHING will!
we need to carpe this fucken diem right fucken now!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)
Take My Breath Away

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)
Wuhan Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta Fuck Wit

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:52, archived)
Cough Cough by Everything Everything

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:59, archived)
NHS by Doc Scott

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)
R Numbers Electric - Gary Numan

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:17, archived)
Everybody was Lung Flu Fighting

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:39, archived)
Wuhan! they got you all to choke

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:33, archived)
Jab on it

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:35, archived)
Waiting for a strain

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:36, archived)
Down with the sickness by Disturbed

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:40, archived)
The genesis version was better

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:56, archived)
silly person

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:27, archived)
^snes fan

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:45, archived)

still felt like am
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)
#clever

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:53, archived)
Well I've decided to retrain as a gynaecologist,
and this morning I had to examine a suspected vaginal carcinoma. Fortunately it turned out to be non-malignant.

So that's the last time I felt a bit of a fanny.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:35, archived)
no u never m8 dunt lie

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:30, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:50, archived)