So, having a nice day?
I'm not working, currently waiting at the doctors and I need to fart and I can feel it brewing and it is going to be a big one and I dont want to be Mr. Farts in the doctors.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

not too bad thanks
own that fart m8, kneel down in the middle of the reception area and light it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:13, archived)

I held it in until they called my name and then let rip

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

Worst cover of 'Like a Prayer' ever.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:21, archived)

Wor Be
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:23, archived)

You might be right there, actually.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:28, archived)

never trust a fart, m8, never trust a fart.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

Are they known thieves?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

yes, they are scouse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:27, archived)

I'm confused why a ewan quote triggered such aggression tbh

(dribble, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:43, archived)

me too m8 xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:49, archived)

Well yes , seeing as I'm quite the dish in soho for lola

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:22, archived)

I do not care for cherry cola

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

I haven't seen cherry coke about for ages, I must admit I've not really looked tho

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:29, archived)

they do raspberry pepsi these days

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:30, archived)

I had a raspberry Coke while in America a few years ago. It was pretty gross tbh.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 Feb 2021, 16:28, archived)

yeah well coke is gross so where's the fucking surprise there?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:13, archived)

aye, ever had Cherry Dr Pepper?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:31, archived)

No,can't say I have

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:33, archived)

Boy George leered at me and blew me a kiss in Camden Sainsbury's when I was about 20


Spared everyone the bother a kiss
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:41, archived)

that was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:44, archived)

alright Boy, long time no see

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:49, archived)

hiya, sad to say the 30 years elapsed have not been kind to you :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:55, archived)

the internet bullying I've been subjected to has really taken it is toll

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:56, archived)

Harrassment.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:58, archived)

My ex mother in law taught him when he was in unit

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:59, archived)

What is his real name?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:18, archived)

George O'Dowd

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:19, archived)

Born in the same hospital as me, which is at the end of my road

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:26, archived)

I reckon he seems like a good laugh
apart from the old kidnapping and handcuffing to a radiator thing. I bet there's more to that story than is generally known though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:22, archived)

what's a little thrashing with a chain between friends, after all?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:45, archived)

quite so

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:34, archived)

l qu
(dribble, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 13:46, archived)

it's too late m8
you're already down in the appointments book as "Mr. Farts"
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:24, archived)

Please no real names.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

Dave Clarke World Service disc 2
youtu.be/AKteKZwXY4o
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:27, archived)

oh man I love 'Bits and Pieces'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:42, archived)

Hand to Phone still sounds fukkin gr8 m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:45, archived)

Yeah, I'm alright
I fart out the front, so
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 11:42, archived)

Quite good, ta
Done a bit of shopping, bought a £1 scratchcard and won £20, now I'm having bacon ribs with some rather nice chilli jam
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 12:39, archived)

this week seems to be going on for-fucking-ever

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:25, archived)

4 day weekend for me.
Still waiting on weed though :(
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:32, archived)

that's 'working your notice' for you
when does your new job start and do you get a bit of a break in between?

PS please also provide the name of your first pet, your mother's maiden name and your NI number, thanks in advance
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:35, archived)

Last time I worked my notice I'd taken to openly streaming stuff on netflix by the end of it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:37, archived)

haven't confirmed start date yet, so there's very likely to be a break as I'm finishing this one end of next week
I have yet to own a first pet
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 14:39, archived)

I just don't think anecdotes are my forte.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 15:17, archived)