another classic day on /chat here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:41, archived)

Don't worry m8. I'm here to save the fucken day and that

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:47, archived)

thanks

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

phew!
I'm sick of all this shitty rain m8 I tell you, sick of it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:58, archived)

Christ, tell me about it
Haven't even had enough of a break to mow the lawn. It looks like a fucking jungle out there. Honestly, I don't think anyone's ever suffered as much as I do, m8
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

I don't think anyone's ever suffered as much as I do, m8 sometimes it makes me fucking wonder how I keep from going under
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

I have a question
Will the British public ever stop endlessly wanking over WW2 and Princess Diana? Because it's quite clearly become unhealthy now
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:52, archived)

this is the Brexit era
nationalism is going up, not down
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:53, archived)

JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:54, archived)

OK THE ANSWER IS 'NO'
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:04, archived)

Weirdly, I'm not
And I really thought I would be
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

I'd laugh if that Martin Bashir fellow got a senior position in the clergy
Then he'd be 'Bishop Bashir' which seems appropriate
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

You know what? I'd laugh too

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:01, archived)

you'd be right to, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:10, archived)

The Good Old Days, member
when you could safely kill off an unwanted royal wife before she gets foreign asylum and spills all your secrets
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:01, archived)

Her brother accused the BBC of something like "manipulating a young girl"
She was fucking 36
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

He replied in the wrong place, it was meant for charles

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:04, archived)

Blind Patriotism, member
back before the proles questioned everything their government did, decided all politicians are cunts and stopped voting or caring about anything
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:03, archived)

Because there's virtually no one left who remembers the blitz
we can reimagine it to be a glorious happy time of everyone pulling together, helping neighbours, one big community, stiff upper lip to jerry, we shall never surrender
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

Serious question, for anyone to answer
Would you say that a 'veteran' is merely anyone who's served in the armed forces, or specifically someone who has been directly involved in a conflict?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Or like a doctor but for dogs lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

lol no way lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:22, archived)

in the UK I'd say it means someone who's seen active service
I think in America they have such a boner for their military industrial complex that I expect if you spent two years working in an army recruitment office in Ohio then you'd get the full THANK YOU FOR YOU SERVICE SIR shit for the rest of your life.

tl;dr CUNTS
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:22, archived)

Yeah, see that's my understanding of it too
But I see it in the news all the time, stuff like "Navy veteran Alan Smith (80)". And it's like, what war did he fight in? Too young for WW2, probably too old for the Falklands. I dunno. Just interested to hear what people thought.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:24, archived)

I reckon they're all a bunch of gert prannies

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

Wangers, m8. The lot of em

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

My old man was active during Suez and Cyprus at that age, not wars. So is he a veteran or not? In Cyprus both sides were shooting at him

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:59, archived)

You tell me, I have no idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:04, archived)

Not sure, he's not fussed, never applied for his medals or anything. But there were certainly issues between ww2 and the Falklands, which wasnt technically a war anyhoo

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:24, archived)

Fair enough
Thank you for pointing it out. I genuinely didn't realise that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:32, archived)

Not at anyone else, mind. Just him.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 15:37, archived)

The joy of being in the signals and a radio operator. Ten foot aerials on your back and next to the officer

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 16:11, archived)

I'd say it's anyone who's been stationed to a theatre of war
Anthony Swofford saw virtually no conflict in 'Jarhead' but the whole experience still fucked him up mentally
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

Assuming you've been deployed somewhere
and done more than just sit about in a van with no worries about driving over an IED at any second, I'd say you're a veteran

Whether that activity be shooting at baddies, or lugging sandbags about to stop a village getting flooded

though I imagine the latter would give you slightly fewer ptsd
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

FUCK SHITPANTS NUGENT. HE IS ALL TOUGH, BUT WHEN IT WAS HIS TIME T5O HAVE BULLE4TS WIZ BY HIS HEAD, HE SHIT HIMSELF HERE AT HOME.
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

It's someone who wins the hearts of the nation by walking up and down the garden like a fucking cunt.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

twitter.com/OhBabyLetMegIn/status/1360208266307993601?s=19
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:32, archived)

Clap for him, peasants, while ignoring that the NHS is in such a state that he found it necessary

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

I watched a Frankie Fraser doc once, he said the Blitz was a criminal's dream - the whole war was
They'd get air raid wardens' uniforms and go out looting bombed shops - the public would help them load vans thinking they were helping protect the shop owners' stuff. And then there was the huge boom in black market goods - they'd sell fuel to rich people for their cars, and all manner of other things, creating contacts with the middle and upper classes that continued after the war, as these were the people with the money to pay for rationed/banned items.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:19, archived)

Let's just gloss over all that eh and pretend that everyone was selfless and moral

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:21, archived)

A bomb hit the Cafe De Paris in Leicester Square
it was full of the rich and fashionable having a good old time. Within minutes of the smoke clearing the site was swarming with cockneys picking over the bodies of the toffs for cash and jewellery. Again, you don't hear about that a great deal.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:27, archived)

By all accounts it was a golden age for burglars and rapists.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 15:35, archived)

b3ta, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:51, archived)

just had an email from 'testosterone'
Seine Erektionen dauern jetzt 2 Stunden…

Diese Tablette hat die ED VON MEINEM MANN GEHEILT und unser Sexualleben reanimiert!!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

Well that's easy for them to say

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

Dysfunction would be funktionsstorung
so EF, surely
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Why is everything so much sexier when said in German?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

it's such a beautiful, musical language

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:24, archived)

Maybe it's that everything sounds like either an admonishment
or an order. So sexeh
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

Endorsed by Jeffrey Combs

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:46, archived)

Zwei-stunden Erektionen?
Das wird [I]toll![/I]
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

For lunch I mostly had rhubarb and blackberry crumble
now I'd rather like a nap.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

I had shitty tom yum noodles which I tried to trick myself into thinking was real food by putting spring onions, chillies and fresh mint in
It didn't work
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

I bought a shitload of black garlic oil pork tonkotsu ramen
from Japan Centre. They are fucken beezer. Salty as, but really good
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

nice, black garlic is the fackin business

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:34, archived)

*brb klaxon*

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:36, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:44, archived)

I gave a packet of it to a friend of mine
And my youngest said to him "I warn you. Once you've eaten that, all other ramen will be rubbish" 😁
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:42, archived)

well now I'm just going to have to get some aren't I

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:45, archived)

That sounds good

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:47, archived)