wazzing it here also, I'll have to brave it at some point as I need to go shopping for chicken
trying a Sri Lankan curry later
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:18, archived)

Nice. I’m attempting a pizza from scratch, any tips for a decent thin crust?
#pizzachat
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:20, archived)

have you got a pizza oven in yr garden?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:28, archived)

I do not

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:30, archived)

Phew!
No rain here yet, it fackin slashed it doon last night.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:33, archived)

I've had good success with them by using a non stick pizza tray like this one:
www.procook.co.uk/product/procook-non-stick-pizza-pan-36-5cm-diameter1

You can push the dough out to the edges using your fingertips, thus creating a reasonable cornicione (or 'edge' lol) and making it both perfectly round and thin. If you overstretch it and tear a hole in the base you can just patch it up. I dust the base with coarse semolina both sides (gives a lovely texture and crunch) and bake it with no toppings with the oven on top whack for a couple of minutes before adding the sauce and toppings. This firms up the base making topping it easier and helps it all to be finished cooking at the same time.

Unless you're using low moisture mozzarella (like pizza shops do), you'll want to drain it for a while and blot with kitchen towel before adding or it's too milky. I grate Parmesan over the tomato sauce before adding any other toppings. I've also found that a few fennel seeds are a great addition, and use pitted Kalamata olives rather than those cheap ones that taste of fuck all.

Finally, I always use tinned San Marzano tomatoes to make the sauce, they have very few seeds and aren't watery so don't need much reducing to get to a nice thickness. They are expensive compared to cheap supermarket tomatoes but worth it. Waitrose own brand are the cheapest I've found.

Much of this would get me arrested in Italy but without a 500 degree oven you can't make a Neapolitan pizza so these tweaks have all helped me to make something which I'm happy enough with to serve to guests.

I will be signing copies of my book 'My Life As An Insufferable Food Ponce' in the lobby later.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:47, archived)

well you did ask

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:47, archived)

These days, if you use the QR pizza-making method in Italy you get arrested and thrown in jail.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:49, archived)

I knew I was asking the right person :D
No Waitrose near me but loads of farm shops so I’m sure I’ll be able to find something.

Cheers (genuinely)
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:00, archived)

welcs, bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:02, archived)

one more tip: you need less sauce than you think you do, too much and your pizza will be a fucked, soggy mess
same goes for toppings: restraint is key
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:03, archived)

noted, ta

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:08, archived)

might try that fennel seed trick, sounds good

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:17, archived)

Thought I'd mention
I've been using the 24 hour fridge prove method, and it saves so much time on the day. Ok, I've said my piece
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:35, archived)

I've done the same
Getting one of these has proved (lol) a godsend also:

www.ebay.com/itm/Vogue-Polycarbonate-Square-Food-Storage-Container-3-5Lt-6Pt-With-Free-Lid-/274575207247

I always struggled to work out if the dough's doubled in size or not - not any more, with this handy tub!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:11, archived)

Ah nice
I just use a mixing bowl and hope for the best, but this is much better
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:39, archived)

mixing toilet
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:52, archived)

The semolina works a treat
And tesco do a decent pizza mozzarella that isn't in liquid
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:42, archived)

500 degrees is pretty dam hot, yo.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jul 2021, 16:44, archived)

according to the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana (basically the fucken pizza Nazis):
'The cooking must be done exclusively in a wood-fired oven, which has reached a temperature between 430-480C'

If it ain't, you're fake news
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 16:55, archived)

Fucking hell, I thought you'd made a hilarious F/C mix-up, but no.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jul 2021, 17:30, archived)

nope, in a proper oven a Napoli style pizza cooks in around 60 seconds
mental innit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 17:43, archived)

Reminds me of a film I saw about people who cook small sweet baked items very quickly at a hot temperature.
Scone In 60 Seconds, it was called.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jul 2021, 22:09, archived)

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jul 2021, 9:28, archived)