Just booked train tickets for me, wife and nipper to visit my dad in Oxford in Augustamazingly by booking ahead for a specific departure and with a railcard it only cost £20 for all 3 of us, can't believe it
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 12:40,
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are these actual English trains you've bookedand do you have to leave at 05:21 on a Wednesday?
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 12:42,
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8:42am on a Saturday from Maylebone Station which is about 50mins from homenot too awful
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 12:49,
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you're right mate, slashtalk doesn't get any better than train ticket advance booking chat!(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 12:46, archived)
maybe you can steer the conversation towards tax and pensions to really get things rockingalso: not your mate
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 12:50,
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whatever you do, don't accidentally cut too deep and hit an arteryor do, I'm not the police.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 18:40, archived)
I'm sure everyone is dying to get an update on the status of my mortgage application.(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:16, archived)
what lender is it in with?Property super expensive but right now but it's never been easier to obtain a mortgage, how crazy is that???????????
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:18, archived)
Santander I think. Not really sure, my wife sorts all of that stuff out.(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:37, archived)
I don't really know what their service is like, I hold mortgage advice qualifications but haven't worked in that area for nearly 10 years!!!!!!(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:45, archived)
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 18:02,
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did you bottle it with that fucked house?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:29,
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Not yet, stringing them along whilst we wait to see if the mother in law is going to give us money to buy a better one.I don't think she likes the idea of having to live with us while the house is being fixed any more than we do.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:37, archived)
hahah make sure you are *extra* annoying for a while to really put the wind up herI'm sure you can manage that
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:19,
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Yes that is the plan.Plus frequently reminding her that she can't take it with her and we'll be the ones choosing her nursing home.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 20:00, archived)
Dammit, I totally forgot to update slashtalk about the trials and tribulations of our mortgage renewal six months ago.I guess that ship has sailed now.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 18:51, archived)
afternoon Mr Qu’eefProper thunderstorm and wazzing it down here at the moment, supposed to be running later..
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:10,
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wazzing it here also, I'll have to brave it at some point as I need to go shopping for chickentrying a Sri Lankan curry later
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:18,
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Nice. I’m attempting a pizza from scratch, any tips for a decent thin crust?#pizzachat
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:20,
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I've had good success with them by using a non stick pizza tray like this one:www.procook.co.uk/product/procook-non-stick-pizza-pan-36-5cm-diameter1
You can push the dough out to the edges using your fingertips, thus creating a reasonable cornicione (or 'edge' lol) and making it both perfectly round and thin. If you overstretch it and tear a hole in the base you can just patch it up. I dust the base with coarse semolina both sides (gives a lovely texture and crunch) and bake it with no toppings with the oven on top whack for a couple of minutes before adding the sauce and toppings. This firms up the base making topping it easier and helps it all to be finished cooking at the same time.
Unless you're using low moisture mozzarella (like pizza shops do), you'll want to drain it for a while and blot with kitchen towel before adding or it's too milky. I grate Parmesan over the tomato sauce before adding any other toppings. I've also found that a few fennel seeds are a great addition, and use pitted Kalamata olives rather than those cheap ones that taste of fuck all.
Finally, I always use tinned San Marzano tomatoes to make the sauce, they have very few seeds and aren't watery so don't need much reducing to get to a nice thickness. They are expensive compared to cheap supermarket tomatoes but worth it. Waitrose own brand are the cheapest I've found.
Much of this would get me arrested in Italy but without a 500 degree oven you can't make a Neapolitan pizza so these tweaks have all helped me to make something which I'm happy enough with to serve to guests.
I will be signing copies of my book 'My Life As An Insufferable Food Ponce' in the lobby later.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:47,
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These days, if you use the QR pizza-making method in Italy you get arrested and thrown in jail.(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:49, archived)
I knew I was asking the right person :DNo Waitrose near me but loads of farm shops so I’m sure I’ll be able to find something.
Cheers (genuinely)
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:00,
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one more tip: you need less sauce than you think you do, too much and your pizza will be a fucked, soggy messsame goes for toppings: restraint is key
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:03,
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might try that fennel seed trick, sounds good(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:17,
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Thought I'd mentionI've been using the 24 hour fridge prove method, and it saves so much time on the day. Ok, I've said my piece
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:35,
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I've done the sameGetting one of these has proved (lol) a godsend also:
www.ebay.com/itm/Vogue-Polycarbonate-Square-Food-Storage-Container-3-5Lt-6Pt-With-Free-Lid-/274575207247
I always struggled to work out if the dough's doubled in size or not - not any more, with this handy tub!!
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:11,
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Ah niceI just use a mixing bowl and hope for the best, but this is much better
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:39,
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The semolina works a treat And tesco do a decent pizza mozzarella that isn't in liquid
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:42,
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according to the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana (basically the fucken pizza Nazis):'The cooking must be done exclusively in a wood-fired oven, which has reached a temperature between 430-480C'
If it ain't, you're fake news
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 16:55,
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Fucking hell, I thought you'd made a hilarious F/C mix-up, but no.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jul 2021, 17:30,
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nope, in a proper oven a Napoli style pizza cooks in around 60 secondsmental innit
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 17:43,
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Reminds me of a film I saw about people who cook small sweet baked items very quickly at a hot temperature.Scone In 60 Seconds, it was called.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jul 2021, 22:09,
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Thunder here is incredibly loud And it's raining sideways. Watching Hannibal and looking forward to tomorrow
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:18,
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the series? I thought Mads Mikkelsen was pretty good in that. Shame it got axed eh.(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:26, archived)
No, the film Watched silence of the lambs before
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:46,
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ah. the only decent one of that lot is Silence of the Lambs.and the original Manhunter even if it's a different Hannibal Lecktor.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 13:47, archived)
Brian Cox was better in that role than Anthony Hopkins was./opinion on the internet
(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 18:46, archived)
I thought the ending to that was a bit unbelievableeven though I can understand why they didn't want to go with the ending in the book
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:21,
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was that the one where Ray Liotta was fed pieces of his own brain?(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:24, archived)
soz, I meant to say, is that the one where UNNAMED ACTOR PLAYING UNSPECIFIED ROLE was fed pieces of his own brain?(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 14:30, archived)
The book ending was very odd The whole thing with her dad's skeleton was bizarre
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:00,
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The best 'film ending is superior to the book' to my mind is The 39 Steps, the Robert Powell versionSo much more exciting than the book which has a complete anticlimax ending, the whole Big Ben scene in the film is way better. The whole film is superb, actually, might have to break out the old DVD.
I think John Buchan may also have been a colossal racist, but there we go
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:16,
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I just gave my kid a copy of Gravity's Rainbow to memorise or I'll show him the back of my hand!(, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:20, archived)
Ooh Geoffrey, Zippy's building weapons of mass destruction!lol
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:45,
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I didn't read jaws until about 10 years after I saw the film The book ending was shite
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jul 2021, 15:28,
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