yeah ok

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 11:42, archived)

finally cleared all the soot and dust from my loft this morning
a job that clearly hasn't been done for some time. judging by the 1944 newsletter I found. Now to spray everywhere with woodworm treatment...
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 11:54, archived)

posted this the other day, but a few months ago my godmother had someone look at a leak in her loft
turns out the whole thing had to be replaced

imgur.com/a/QR0S7mQ
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:03, archived)

when I was cleaning out a load of sawdust, soot etc from under the upstairs landing floorboards
I found a cigarette packet (empty) which must have been there since the house was built in the 1900s, I can only assume that the joiner who was fitting the floorboards got to the end of his pack of Park Drive tabs and chucked it under there.

So the soot and dust got cleaned off, the packet got framed and it's staying with the house. It was there a hundred years before I was.

#comedywebsite #wehavearightlaughhere #alright
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:05, archived)

did the fag packet look like this?
imgur.com/gallery/lh2I15P
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 17:42, archived)

pretty much, yeah

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 24 Aug 2021, 6:53, archived)

anything in there about that Hitler fellow?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:07, archived)

no, just a reference to 'Kunt and the Gang' and an AMAZING lithograph by 'Happy Toast'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:09, archived)

loft bumhole
w p dworm treatment
( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 14:34, archived)

A fun afternoon of sharts and crafts

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 14:56, archived)

Had to go to my neighbour's house to boil the kettle
I won't have electricity till this fucker is finished with the rewiring
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:02, archived)

Th Chr
f T

no, I don't know why I posted this either
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:04, archived)

Chris Tucker is far too busy to rewire my kitchen

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:07, archived)

I don't reckon he is, you know

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:08, archived)

Grooming takes time, I would imagine

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:11, archived)

I'm Hexachordal, AMA!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:35, archived)

oh get this
after 13 years of refusing each and every single request to move access dates around, including claiming to have 'plans' when I gave 6 months' notice of a wedding in Croatia, I got an email yesterday from jr's mum *telling me* that my access weekend two weekends from now 'has to be moved'. No please, no asking - nothing.

I've told her that's fine as long as I can have the kid for xmas - given that she was 10 the last time I did due to covid/sick wife. No reply yet, but no prizes for 'major drama' coming soon...
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:07, archived)

Mate, get a hitman
Cheaper than all these lawyers
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:09, archived)

the bare faced cheek is just incredible
well, only too credible tbh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:10, archived)

Just make sure all conversations with her are recorded
One day, you'll get to throw it all in her face
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:13, archived)

Every single exchange is in writing
I have the fucking lot
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 12:14, archived)

Excellent

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 13:37, archived)

just caught a shiny Blastoise

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 23 Aug 2021, 13:31, archived)

meh,

(Runcorn shitty limits, Mon 23 Aug 2021, 14:54, archived)

he'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 23 Aug 2021, 14:59, archived)

You can get an ointment for that, you know.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 23 Aug 2021, 17:18, archived)