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What's the best way to stop work people from typing tiny bits of messages at a time?
Hi
when they type
like this
and don't get to the point
until they've typed like twelve messages
but you've read them all so far
and the program says they're still typing
typing so slowly
so fucking slowly that you want to scream
like seriously they must be typing with one finger or a head dobber or something
and then finally
they ask a question that could have been five words
is there an appropriate response that's more conducive to positive working relations than "fucking type your message all in one go, you pointless waste of flesh"?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:23, archived)
React to every individual message with a thumbs up emoji

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:24, archived)
I like this, it's just the right amount of passive-aggressive for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:34, archived)
There’s someone at work that types like this, it’s like getting the football results in the 80s

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:44, archived)
It's me m8.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:06, archived)
Thought so

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:15, archived)
Must be a woman

(Fantasma. mr horrible and Grrrmachine, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:33, archived)
Weirdly misogynistic, and also wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:34, archived)
It's just been my experience
Maybe it's a generation alpha then
(Fantasma. mr horrible and Grrrmachine, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:41, archived)
The oldest generation alphas are currently 14
so no, none of them are my colleagues.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:43, archived)
Ah! Gen Z of course I knew that ;)
Just kidding.
I do the messaging in stages thing (no surprises there) but I notice that men don't. Neither does my sister. She ticks me off about it because she keeps her notifications on for emergencies. So when she's talking to me the phone goes ping ping ping. It's a bad habit.
(Fantasma. mr horrible and Grrrmachine, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:48, archived)
Spanishfly has left the chat

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:15, archived)
What has happened to Spanishfly?

(Fantasma. mr horrible and Grrrmachine, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 13:11, archived)
Took my advice and killed himself.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:11, archived)
"Hi, can this be summed up as a sound?"

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:44, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmB3gfOMNFo
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:49, archived)
LOL!
This is going in my profile :D
(Fantasma. mr horrible and Grrrmachine, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:31, archived)
Reply in haiku

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:50, archived)
I like this idea
I enjoy writing poems
I'll stab you to death
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 10:54, archived)
Go fuck yourself
Now, in the arse
You cretinous halfwit
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:06, archived)
Needs five syllables
Then it's seven syllables
Then five you shitwank
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:13, archived)
He could swap the third
and the second lines around
and it still makes sense
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:18, archived)
Not any more though
Since it's been edited now
Stupid fucking cunt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:19, archived)
But then it would be
Four six four which is still wrong
Anal fistula
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:21, archived)
Seven syllables
consists of five syllables
like five syllables
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:37, archived)
But five syllables
Is only four syllables
You absolute melt
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:39, archived)
I'm glad they re-wrote the first draft of the rap battles in 8 Mile.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:42, archived)
Seven is easy:
"Fucking stupid fucking cunt."
You see? I told you.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:35, archived)
Taking this way 2 seriously m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:12, archived)
I take everything on /talk extremely seriously.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 13:32, archived)
y tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:12, archived)
Just for a laugh, really.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:46, archived)
fuck slack and teams
time wasting shite
(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:42, archived)
woah, woah
Slack made b3tan Cal Henderson a multi-millionaire.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:48, archived)
WHERE DO I SIGN UP

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:37, archived)
Reply one letter per text
And add a load of hearts and kisses
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 11:59, archived)
K
xxxx ♥♥♥ xxxx
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:01, archived)
Yep, that should do the trick

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:24, archived)
Y
♥♥♥ xxxx ♥♥♥ xxxx ♥♥♥ xxxx
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 12:24, archived)
quit, it's very effective

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Oct 2024, 15:33, archived)