"short illness" suggests aggressive cancer, probably prostate cancer that was not detected until far too late. I have a doctorate in advanced clinical headline interpretation, and this is my diagnosis.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:00, archived)

probably refused to go to the doctor because the NHS is too woke, or something.
Fucking bellend.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:17, archived)

Short illness can also refer to how long it takes a bullet to remove the brain

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:47, archived)

Sudden-onset headache immediately followed by sudden resolution

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:49, archived)

Weird how 'a long illness' and 'a short illness' are both euphemisms for cancer.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:49, archived)

And AIDS

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:50, archived)

To the untrained eye, perhaps

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:51, archived)

that's the long and the short of it.
You never hear of anyone having a medium illness, do you? WAKE UP SHEEPLE
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:00, archived)

WRONG! It means he died from previously undiagnosed dwarfism

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 21:40, archived)