Anybody?

not exactly topical . . .
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:34, archived)

jays migrate
south for winter?
snow no jay clinton?
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

smoke enough
the clouds rain bubbles??
(CerberusDog woof, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

Oooh!
nearly . . . *

*couldn't be fucking further
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)

Wow
You've posted an average of 54.1666666 messages a day since you were born to B3ta.

Jolly good going.
(CerberusDog woof, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:40, archived)

I DID NOT
in hail.
( DogHorse wants to do a poo in Paul's bathroom, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)

Huzzah!
Have the biscuit of your choice

*proffers a plate with one stale rich tea on it
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:38, archived)

*takes plate*
*cookie monsters the fucker* [(c) DOTF 2004]

Mmmm. Ceramic.
( DogHorse wants to do a poo in Paul's bathroom, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)

Dawn Of The Fred?

( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:45, archived)

I just floated an air biscuit if that is any use to you
1 air biscuit
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:40, archived)

ah, all is now clear.
woo.
(yakmonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)

.

( Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

arf!
hahahahaha

Woo!

EDIT: Luvvly expresions, you are sooo talented

*hugs
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

ha ha
i love that
( ferret charmer, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

laura
looks so ashamed .... or maybe just annoyed that she didn't get hers first
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)

When I'm in charge...

every office will have one of these.
(yakmonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

*Votes for Yakmonkey!
Yay!

EDIT: can't wait for 'single-malt Friday'
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

Votes for president of the world

ideas like that deserve the world

.
(CerberusDog woof, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:35, archived)

woo!
sounds like a great Challenge idea!!!
( Zaphod's Wombat - Never did quite get the hang of, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:34, archived)

yeah new water cooler conversations
"I fucking love you guys from production, you are the guys what makeeess the stuff what it is that hic hic we sell an stuff."
"fuck of suit ha ha ha ha ha suit suit suits suit dont dare hit me do ya, ya cunting suit"
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:35, archived)

Leave it, Vultan, 'ee's not worth it!

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

but he spilt my wife
and was eyeing up our table
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)

come here... sshhhhhh
shhhhhhh
shshshshhssssshhhhhhhhhsshhhhhhhhhhhh...
come here... I know this bloke, shhhhh, I kno... he's sound right - I love you man... sshhhhh. Where can we score some draw?
*falls asleep*

/me when I'm drunk
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:43, archived)

SPUD SPUD awww fuck Steve
Where is SPUD there is a crag rat here wants some weed
SPUD WEED SALE
Ah here is spud now he was int bog he'll sell you a bit
/my local
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:46, archived)

you know it!!
here's to being pissed at work!
( Finite is missing a tooth :(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

Morale up by 92%

Productivity down by . . . erm . . 92%

Yay!
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

can i have it?
/still haven't slept
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)

yay

( mozza http://indmill.com, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)

bored doodle

(nathan57, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:31, archived)

Woo
but you must've been bored for hours.

Go out. Get some fresh air.
(TrainHitsBoy Ate Something That Turned His Poo To Wee, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

United States of stand up

(Mr Luke, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:31, archived)

if the dog can do it to himself
why cant an intern do it to me?
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:32, archived)

He's getting around isn't he.. ?


If I was American, I'd vote for him though..
/runs
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

...she was supposed to sack my cook.
edit. Oops - wrong president.
(Baa Lamb - I'm NOT Baa!!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

in an alternate universe

(Sigma5, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:21, archived)

I buy one!
where?
( sinisterduck, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:23, archived)

I'd tried one
but I couldn't force fit my dick in
oops
(Sigma5, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:24, archived)

You have that problem too, huh?
We should form a support group
(don't tell him Pike!!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

Ha!

*points

Look at that bunch of gayers 'supporting' each other . . .
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:27, archived)

Ha!
What kind of 'sandwich' are you advocating?
(don't tell him Pike!!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:29, archived)

Gay sandwich
with man mayonnaise.
(TrainHitsBoy Ate Something That Turned His Poo To Wee, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:32, archived)

eh?

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:32, archived)

As long as its not a blandwich
you seem to think it'll be fun
(don't tell him Pike!!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:43, archived)

Pssst!
Compo it!

Woo!

'Give her three less inches!!'
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:24, archived)

fewer
/pedant
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:26, archived)

Oh, right!
like spammers use correct grammar, knobhead!
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:27, archived)

ooooh
hark at her
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:28, archived)

Dave has seven cocks all
1 inch long, sometimes he makes love with just 4 of them and is therefore correct to say
Less
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:28, archived)

Shhh!
They'll ask how you know . . .
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

that makes a strange sort of sense.
I'm very sorry Dave, I didn't realise that you were blessed/inflicted in such a way. Had I known I wouldn't have been so quick to pointout your error. I am a bad person and do not deserve to continue to live in the company of such wonderous individuals, I shall now fall onto my sword
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

he said 'sword'...
sounds a bit rude.

pffftttt
( Zaphod's Wombat - Never did quite get the hang of, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)

I'm glad to hear that you're coping with the news of my death
so very well.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)

Oooh!
a corpse . . .

*looks around

*performs acts too disgusting to detail
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)

*opens one eye a crack*
*grins slightly*
*goes back to pretending to be dead*
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)

Urghh!
You're alive!

But I . . .

That's disgusting!
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)

ronnie corbert
could regain that in proportion look
woo and yay
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:24, archived)

I don't know what inspired me....
But my recent browsing had lead me to look for things to do with John Fashanu, and I have happened to stumble across this long lost publication which I suppose would be worth something if anyone had a copy. Hands up, did anyone actually buy this?



*edit* - I'll take that as a "No" then!
(Log of the Bar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:21, archived)

So is it
real and not the chop of potato then?

(never seen it meself)
( Liquid Crystal, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)

I'd forgotten
how much fun the zoo is...


( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:19, archived)

I'd be bloody carefull
if she offers to go down on you
woo
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:21, archived)

Easy tiger...
Or so I hear.
(Log of the Bar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)

She's the one that bit Roy
I betcha
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)

I would
/yiffy
(Hazhar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)

Fwap! Ouch! Fwap! Ouch! Fwap! Etc...
( JKF You ain't seen me, roit?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:23, archived)

Phwoooooaaaaaaar!
*slaps back of neck*
( The Duke of Prunes, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

tiger stripe
tattoos really hurt - check my profile!
(Mr M@, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:31, archived)

I say
That's rather splendid!
( Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:34, archived)

Palin-tir

for no reason at all
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:12, archived)

nudge-nudge
wink-wink

say no more.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

your wife
eh nudge nudge she like photography?
woo to pic up there^
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:15, archived)

not Michael Palin
it was Eric Idle & Terry Jones in that sketch.







(help me)
(keef, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:26, archived)

palin did
a live version in canadia
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:30, archived)

just been listening to the cheese shop scetch with him in
absolutly genious
( ferret charmer, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:17, archived)

I've been listening to Eric Idle's
Universe song... not exactly genius, but very good none the less.

"...just remember how unlikely is your birth, and pray that there's intelligent life somewhere off in space, because there's bugger all down here on Earth"
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

Venezualan Beaver chhese, perchance?

Not at the end of the week, sir, no.
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

cheese

(Sigma5, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:10, archived)

woo!

( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:10, archived)

Hahahahahhaha
Aww I love him! Can I have him?!
( valley, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)

blimey
i've not seen the orking puppy for ages!
( new_matt, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)

woo and yay
he looks cheery and menaceing at the same time
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)

woo!
thats tanfastic!
(Ludwig van B3ta-hoven i'm tired of this room & every1 in it., Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)

Yay!
Just the sort of fluffage I need this time of day.
I feel much better and won't kill myself today.
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

what about tomorrow?

(Hazhar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:18, archived)

its only
a day
awaaaaaaaayyyy
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:20, archived)

I'm depending on you guys
t keep me alive
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:21, archived)

fick that is a
terrible responcibility don you no think you could top yersen how so I don't have to keep worrying
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:27, archived)

huh?
I bought myself a lifesized plush antelope for companionship and now I'll be OK
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:32, archived)

You can't go wrong
with a good orking.
( Mystery_Bob, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

aaaahhhhh
/gives it some poison
( ferret charmer, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:14, archived)

That's
lubberly.
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:20, archived)

He's not smiling, he's sizing me up
Woo to you
Where's the tag?
(aharrrr matey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)

So coooooot!

(Bob Hopelessness, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

Absolutely
fantastic, brilliant, amazing, and oh so fluffy. WOO!
(Fuzzy, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 20:48, archived)

..

( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:08, archived)

pfft
that is all

/edit: actually that's not all, did you get someone to pose for the source pic?
( Leon Gibbon such terrible things, such terrible terrible, urgh, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:17, archived)

na - but it took a fucking age to find

( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:18, archived)

it was well worth the looking
there's blissful ignorance in his face that suggests he doesn't realise what's about to happen
( Leon Gibbon such terrible things, such terrible terrible, urgh, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:19, archived)

hehe

( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:20, archived)

(themanwhofellasleep, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)

I think he likes her

(Hazhar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:12, archived)

Hello there Mr manwhofellasleep
I've done gone and been excessively busy again and haven't had a chance to do shit, but have not forgotten. Profuse apologies - life has been hectic and may get worse soon.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:14, archived)

It's ok.
I shall mail you.
(themanwhofellasleep, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

There are some stories
that just have to be shared...

I was in Asda today and there was a....um...."special" person there. And completely out of the blue, he stopped in the middle of the aisle, and shouted, in fluent mongoloid:

"Adriiiiaaaaaaaan!"

And so I had to do this:

( Damocles shmamocles, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:06, archived)

ha ha ha, hell for you.

there was a programme on TV last night about 'downs' children.

one of the downs kids was 16 and had a normal mate, whilst on holiday they were chatting to some girls and the downs kid said to one of the girls "fancy a fuck?", needless to say he didn't get very far.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)

yeh, i saw that
and the narrator said "he had to learn the hard way." poor mentally defficient mutant kid. ahem.
(Hazhar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:14, archived)

you cruel bastards
the sameheads can't help it.

cunts
( shin0r, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:31, archived)

If it's been done, then sorry.

(Log of the Bar, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:04, archived)

never as seamlessly . . .

Woo!
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:05, archived)

Woo..
...subtle.
(Clownkiller, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:06, archived)

Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane?
No!
It's SUPERMONKEY

( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:04, archived)

well, nearly super
wooo
( Zak McFlimby, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:05, archived)

I are supamunkeh!
I done gone and done a whoopsie!
( TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:08, archived)

Looney Lines
I'd got a theory that like lay lines - there's lines of immense stupidity that span the UK.

Hot spots include Camden and Wolverhampton. I reckon a line drawn between these two places would throw up other areas of very mad people.

CODEY PROJECT FOR BOARD/BORED PERSON:

* Write a program that allows you to pin point mad people on a map of the UK.
* Allow attaching of URL to the QOTW post.
* See if it generates lines.
* Er.. Profit?

Any takers?
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:03, archived)

I'm sure they would spell out a word
or draw a picture or something.
( Zak McFlimby, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:04, archived)

and I think
we all know what it would be a picture of.
( mofaha : life during wartime, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:10, archived)

Could be a word
Just like in Paul Austers New York Trilogy.

/erudite
(CerberusDog woof, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

Don't forget to include
wherever the fuck Grant Morrison and Alan Moore are living these days (Northampton for Moore isn't it?). Morrison in particular is mad enough to count as about 50 Best of Luck guys, and should tweak the results nicely.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)

bollocks
successful comic writers don't count.

They're Professional Nutters like Professional Scousers.
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:08, archived)

Even Grant "I was abducted by aliens and they downloaded The Invisibles directly into my brain" Morrison?
The guy who belives that he talks directly with his characters via the supercontext, is a magician, and has managed to summon a demon?
The guy's a genius, but barking.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:12, archived)

PR myth building?
who knows.
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:18, archived)

If...
...we're going to be including all the REALLY bonkers brits, Tom Baker gets my vote.




He's not right in the head.
( Troo Troo Barney McGrew, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)

There would be a huge cluster
around Croydon
( JKF You ain't seen me, roit?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)

BTW rob
my mate ended up nearly shitting his entire guts out doing that food/shitting diary

so he's gonna continue it when he starts uni in a few days... his parents were worried.
( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:09, archived)

ha ha
as long as he's taking photos
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:10, archived)

damn straight

( cheb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

Have a DLT

( The Duke of Prunes, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:02, archived)

What a monger!

Woo!
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:02, archived)

looks like
the yorkshire ripper when he had just thought of his special rapeing pants
woo and yay
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)

I'm with her...
Fuck the foxes.... especially this one.. (New clickerooney)
(G-Funk, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:02, archived)

See below
but fwap none-the-less
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)

Gizza pob

( Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:00, archived)

Pob
beats Teletubbies every time.

Woo!
( giant_squid, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:02, archived)

The best bukkake puppet ever!

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:03, archived)

We are going to need to
find something to do with all the empty Jobcentres.
( Mystery_Bob, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:02, archived)

Sorry for wasting you precious bandwidth

can someone kick me off please!
( w33b le wobbles but he dosen't shut the fuck up, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 12:57, archived)

*bumhugs*

( Hankster infra red in your head, infra red in your head, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 12:58, archived)

No you're not >:(
Is.. Is that a Goatse arm?
( Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 12:58, archived)

of course!

( w33b le wobbles but he dosen't shut the fuck up, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:00, archived)

And why not?

( JKF You ain't seen me, roit?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:01, archived)

best woo
ever.
(Carwash Maaaaaaaaarge!, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:25, archived)

Yay! It's Ted Danson!
I love Ted Danson. He makes me feel warm and happy. They don't enjoy it much, but I can't help it - it's Ted! He's married to Mary Steenbergen and stuff, so how can you say no?

*does a little "hurrah for Ted Danson" dance*
( TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:04, archived)