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This is a question Not having sex

Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
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One way to guarantee not having any sex...
is to take your intended to a cheap hotel miles away in the middle of Germany. I won't bore you with the details other than the name of the hotel so you can look for yourself! To cut a long story short... Ibis in Mayen South.
(, Tue 27 May 2014, 18:18, closed)
Genuine Train LOLs.
Fellow commuters now think I'm weird (er).
(, Tue 27 May 2014, 18:44, closed)
^ easily amused

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 20:16, closed)
Oh god.
I BET YOU WEAR A SIMPSONS TIE AND SOCKS AND A TOM BAKER SCARF IN THE WINTER AND A TOWEL ON THAT DOUGLAS ADAMS THING DAY AND NO TROUSERS ON THAT OTHER DAY AND A BADGE SAYING "IT DOESN'T HELP TO BE MENTAL BUT I WORK HERE" AND YOU ARE ONE WEIRD MOTHERFUCKING WEIRDO LOL EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI
(, Thu 29 May 2014, 3:15, closed)
you are a terrible person

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 19:42, closed)
Clicked.
But, you really need to flesh out the back-story. Really build it up so as to increase the anticipation and expectation of what is inevitably sure to come.
Then, just as the reader is about to walk away in disgust - BAM!
Right in the pisser!
(, Tue 27 May 2014, 20:35, closed)
oh well played.

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 21:34, closed)
Well played.

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 21:43, closed)
You horror

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 22:15, closed)
I have clicked
I will now, of course, have to hunt you down.
(, Tue 27 May 2014, 22:52, closed)
Hold still while I throw bratwurst at you.

(, Wed 28 May 2014, 1:34, closed)
PHWOAR

(, Wed 28 May 2014, 1:54, closed)
Git.
*enclickens*
(, Wed 28 May 2014, 7:53, closed)
Ha ha
Have a click
(, Wed 28 May 2014, 9:08, closed)
I thought it was an Albert Marshmallow parody with the mention of Ibis Hotels and then BAM,
I got it. Rather like that time in the bath, long story.
(, Wed 28 May 2014, 9:25, closed)
Nicely done :D

(, Wed 28 May 2014, 13:03, closed)
Can I be the dissenting voice, and point out that this is shit?
Thanks.
(, Wed 28 May 2014, 13:19, closed)
No.

(, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:17, closed)
Holiday Inn's internal directory utilises a five letter code (3 letters for country, 2 for town).
Minden in Germany's entry was notable.
(, Wed 28 May 2014, 15:12, closed)

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