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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Zzzzz
Go on then, tell me about cooking disasters, that you did or that you got served.

alt: Cooked anything nice recently?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:26, 223 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
I once cooked a steak slightly too long and it was rare instead of bleu
Alt. Yes
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:27, Reply)
if you're gonna be a nonce and say "bleu" then you should be consistently noncy and say "saignant" or "à point"
jussayinlike
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:32, Reply)
or maybe it's just that he's cornish and can't spell "blue"

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:41, Reply)
Bet my French is better than yours you gros psycho con.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:45, Reply)
that's not french
it's just garbled inbred english, sixtoe
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:47, Reply)
Oui , mais vous aviez psychochomps bite dans la bouche

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:50, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:52, Reply)
le zingue!

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:56, Reply)
No

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:43, Reply)
Si

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:46, Reply)
I had a badly trimmed steak over Christmas and I'm still FURIOUS

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:33, Reply)
I did an asparagus and parmesan starter and the garlic still tasted a touch raw.
NIGHTMARE!
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:36, Reply)
oh god you poor dear
:(
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:47, Reply)
I must be due some sort of compensation.
Perhaps I can sue the negligent garlic farmer?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:53, Reply)
just ask Kroney.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:08, Reply)
once upon a time someone i know nearly used 2 bulbs of garlic in a recipe that called for two cloves hahahaha that would have been unfortunate

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:39, Reply)
what a fuck knuckle!

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:41, Reply)
i know, oh how we laughed, you couldn't make it up

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:43, Reply)
i call bullshit

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:47, Reply)
you are not a a position to take that course of action

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:53, Reply)
It was HER!!!
Oh, dear. She needs to leave the cokking to the REAL MEN.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:54, Reply)
^loves a good cokking^

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:55, Reply)
I once made a nice fish pie.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:56, Reply)
no you neva

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:57, Reply)
I served plaice as Lemon Sole to 40 top guests once.
They didn't notice. Not a disaster.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:07, Reply)
I am in awe

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:10, Reply)
what did you serve to the bottoms?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:13, Reply)
I cook a variety of vegetarian dishes
There is nothing disastrous about this
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:08, Reply)
Apart from your face !!!

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:10, Reply)
And his rampant mung bean eating homosexuality.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:45, Reply)
until later when the farts kill houseplants and small animals

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:10, Reply)
I beg to differ

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:11, Reply)
haha ... "variety" ... good one

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:12, Reply)
I've never really properly fucked up a meal because I can follow basic instructions.
I might have forgotten the odd step once or twice but it's always been salvageable.


I once started smashing the kitchen up a bit in a teenage strop when my cheese and bean toastie stuck though.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:14, Reply)
something about sisters legs open something something

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:15, Reply)
I once put too much water in a Pot Noodle
and one time I put too fewer water in a Pot Noodle

Alt Pot Noodle
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:20, Reply)
I bet you pronounce that "po"

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:24, Reply)
I always increase my dining experience by adding my own condiments and spices

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:29, Reply)
When I was a student and very poor, living on my own and such
I would eat pasta with beans/peas/gravy
Possibly the most destitute diet ever. All my other money obviously went on partying and alcohol.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:28, Reply)
When I lost a bankcard or something and had no access to any cash, a housemate caught me mixing the only two bits of food I had.
Piccalilli and rice.


They made me bin it and bought me tea.

Also, pasta, butter and marmite is the one.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:32, Reply)

partying and alcohol amyl nitrite and Kylie Minogue singles
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:36, Reply)
wait no ... that was me

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:37, Reply)
get some taste

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
I can't taste nowt after all these poppers

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:11, Reply)
i once lived for about 5 days on a gigantic box of uncle ben's white rice, boiled and served with melted butter and salt
being a student in london was FUN.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:38, Reply)
Still, at least Jarvis Cocker wrote that song about you

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
before alistair macgowan was famous (the same night he asked me out, fact fans)
i saw him do an impression of jarvis. it included the line, "so i farted... there."
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:48, Reply)
I was a student in London
and I can guarantee you had far more disposable income than me. I never once struggled to eat. I put it too you that you wasted money on shit you didn't need.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:58, Reply)
i can't see why you think that statement even needs to be made
of course i did.

but then, what student doesn't?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:03, Reply)
I managed to do both.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:06, Reply)
yeah but how did you fit your square head through the door?
spongebobsquarepants.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Ummm because doors have 90 degree corners?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:14, Reply)
think she's a hobbit

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Pasta + ketchup = full square.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:38, Reply)
flash cunt

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:41, Reply)
I bet it wasn't Heinz

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
Fortnum & Mason

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:57, Reply)
GO NORTH

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:57, Reply)
when I first moved to London I lived in a bedsit in Hammersmith.
I used to buy a 10 kilo bag of spuds and crate of savers beans on pay day so I had dinner everyday until the next pay day.

If I was feeling flush I'd buy off cuts of cheese to add as a "treat".
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
I used to mix a tin of irish stew with baked beans and eat it out of the saucepan

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
i wasn't a student. when i wasn't a student i had a job and ate like a king, a habit which i continue to this day.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:49, Reply)
When I was a student in London I paid all my rent, bills and food with no difficulty with no more than my student loan
and the £2700 I had saved up. Over the three years I never once went overdrawn or used a credit card. I split the £2700 up to £300 a term and budgeted well. I had an internet connection, contract mobile and ate proper food. I was able to go out at least two nights a week, spent every other weekend in Bath with my then girlfriend and went to the cinema at least twice a week. I also had enough money to buy a new computer and a Fender Stratocaster. All you povvo food munchers were just piss poor at managing your money.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:05, Reply)
budgeting?
what kind of a student budgets??
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Students that want to have nice stuff, to be able to go out, eat properly and not get in debt probably.
I flew to belgium a few times on my student loan as well.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Wouldnt it have been easier to use a plane
ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:09, Reply)
I get this!

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:11, Reply)
"Girlfriend"

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)
You don't say how much the student loan was.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)
What ever was standard for London in 2000
Not a massive amount £4500 a year I think
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:39, Reply)
being able to cook makes life a treat even as a student
I don't know if anyone else here had this but the SU at my one used to be able to give out EU surplus stuff for free, tins of stewing steak (that looked like dog food) spuds mixed veg etc.

Me and my housemate used to make massive stews and pies etc. for pennies just had to spend a few bob on herbs and spices.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:02, Reply)
I went to my SU once to get my card so I could get money off at HMV.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07, Reply)
it was just a great way to get cheap food.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:09, Reply)
I lived across the road from a Tesco so got most of my food there
I bought lunch out everyday so only really needed to prepare one meal a day. Never considered I might be able to get free food though.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:13, Reply)
I spent at least half my stoodent life in the union blagging into gigs and getting cunted on cheap booze and expensive drugs
Including an hour of one of my finals.

/excellentcareersadvice
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:14, Reply)
My SU was a bit shit
I used to go to the Astoria quite a lot. Most gigs there were under a tenner and I saw some great (and some not so great) bands there.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:15, Reply)
dunno what the typical cost was cos we usually hid in the attic thing and sneaked back in
I do remember thinking that £8 to see Cocteau Twins was extortionate.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:23, Reply)
It is a bit, given that she didn't even sing proper words

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:30, Reply)
if you say even a single mean thing about the lovely Elizabeth Fraser I will be exceedingly upset

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Scottish

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:40, Reply)
dude ... harsh

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:44, Reply)
Hold Me Now.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:05, Reply)
^Has a picture pinned to his wall

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)
I like the Cocteau Twins, me.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:58, Reply)
anybody who doesn't is clearly a prick

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Not so much a disaster but seasoning my new wok has left a smoke mark on the ceiling above the hob :(
Alt: STIR FRY YESSSSSSSS
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)
Aren't you supposed to season pans and that in the oven?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:13, Reply)
Not a wok, very high temperature on the gas ring

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)
you can season them in a hot oven too
unless it's got a wooden handle ... then you'll prolly have a smoke mark on your bathroom, bedroom, and every other room
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)
Yes wooden handle

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:20, Reply)
they're the most comfortable for sticking up the arse

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:36, Reply)
A wok's just a bent frying pan isn't it?
Cast iron pans are usually done in the oven.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:19, Reply)
Keyword is WOK, not cast iron pan
it's carbon steel and will take quite awhile to get the proper patina that helps with the taste
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:25, Reply)
I got something like this for christmas.
www.johnlewis.com/le-creuset-shallow-casserole-30cm/p310824

Haven't used it yet though. Should be good for frying and ovening. It says it doesn't need seasoning and should build a patina on it's own. Sounds like fibs.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)
I have a cast iron le creuset wok.
it's the fucking daddy.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2439241
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
It's all black like the stuff Gormo posted.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)
^ Racist

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)
i bought my brother one of those
and i'm buying my friend one for her wedding present. beautiful things.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:36, Reply)
I don't want one for my birthday, I want a burger king gift card

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I've got a cheap non stick one that I have only used once because all the noodles stuck to it.
I cook most of my food in my cast iron pans and skillets.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
it's shit as a wok though

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
It ain't the greatest at flash frying.
And weighs a fucking tonne.

It does a nice Beef Rendang though.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I just looked at it, basically looks like a dutch pot
A good cast iron Dutch pot is a basic necessity for my kitchen
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)

pot
OVEN
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)
Jamaican thing innit
www.amazon.co.uk/Jamaica-Sun-Dutch-Pot-30cm/dp/B00HA16KUQ
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:57, Reply)
you should prolly buy one of those instead of a ridiculous cast iron Not-a-Wok

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:24, Reply)
the patina does nowt for the taste
It just makes it non stick

Soz
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
Not according to what I've been led to believe a well seasoned wok does stop food from sticking
and is also supposed to enhance the flavour
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:44, Reply)
dunno how it could do

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:25, Reply)
extractor fan fail

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)
New house innit :(

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:26, Reply)
not any more
you've made it all mucky
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
Yes...yes I have

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)
is this still going?
i have a pot of vegetable crudites (peppers, carrots and celery with sour cream and #CHIVEALIVE dip), a pot of melon, and a mini brown rice, lentil and veg salad for lunch.

what have you lot got?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:19, Reply)
I left my lunch in the fridge at home like a twat.
So blt sandwich, lentil soup and cheese and onion crisps.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)
I had half that noodle thing before I binned it, it was like saltwater and tapeworms with a splash of sloppy dog shit for colour

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:23, Reply)
NUM NUMS!

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:26, Reply)
You should go and treat yourself to a kebab on the way home

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:26, Reply)
Not today, today we are cooking me a nice dinner. Which is just as well because i'm going to be bloody starving after that 'lunch'

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)
with meat and everything?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)
Chicken thighs.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
People underestimate chicken thighs imo.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)
They are my favourite bit of a chicken, apart from the anus.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)
here it is
shewearsmanyhats.com/on-the-dark-side/


i know that link sounds dodgy. but it is actually just a recipe for soy/ginger/garlic/honey glazed chicken thighs.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)
Monty introduced to them Itsu Noodles about 2 years ago they sell them in sainsburys I think
The bloody thing was about the size of a large popcorn bucket, not bad but taken fucking ages to get through.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
This was an itsu chicken noodle pot, i suppose it's good in that it has completely killed my appetite for at least a few hours

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
I tried them.
They are shat.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:39, Reply)
That's the last time I ever try anything new ever again

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
What's the point in trying new stuff when you already know what you like?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Exactly. I like enough different things already.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46, Reply)
I have (yet another) ex who told me at the ripe old age of 21 that she was too old to try new foods.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:42, Reply)
Was she fat? Because it may have been a fair point if she'd already eaten loads.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46, Reply)
Nope, horribly thin
Mainly because she hardly ate anything with any nutritional value.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)
This was an excuse to not give you a blow job wasn't it?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46, Reply)
But he had put it in a bun and added mustard and everything

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:48, Reply)
I like this

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)
good lad.
don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I am so miserable I am looking at my holiday itinerary.

and thinking about coming out on Thursday.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Cool. I have just booked Friday off.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)
NO GETTING TOO SMASHED UNTIL WE HAVE EATEN THE TASTY FOOD
after that, you can do whatever the fuck you like.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:00, Reply)
After the foodings I want to go home with you and do a poo with the bathroom door open so I can still talk to you.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:02, Reply)
i'm busy that night
but peej has a lob-on at the very thought
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:15, Reply)
You have to do what I want on my special day. It's virtually a law.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:16, Reply)
This is exactly the type of thing that deserves its own thread
Go on start a Birthday thread
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:18, Reply)
I have retired from starting threads.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:19, Reply)
I could be* wrong but I don't think a thread on about what you can or cant get away with on your B-day has never been done
This has got to be worth coming out of retirement for

*and probably am
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:23, Reply)
hahahaha
sloppy dog shit for colour.

bit racist.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)
It was like a very ill dog had emptied itself into it from both ends for one last time before death. And then again after.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
you should post that picture of that dog spewing up.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)
Or a picture of your face to elicit a similar response, you ogre.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
you cooked it wrongly

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
POTD

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
this still sounds preferable to raw celery

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)
weird
there's nothing wrong with raw celery. granted it's not as tasty as the carrots and peppers, but it's perfectly edible.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:01, Reply)
raw pepper is equally pointless and indigestible
your entire lunch sounds like one of those horrific pseudoscience "cleansing" diets that idiots eat after Christmas
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Raw celery is fucking rank.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:29, Reply)
it's not food
It's what self-hating chubsters crunch on to disguise the sound of their fatty sobbing
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:30, Reply)
My mum loved the stuff.
She died of cancer at 44. I recently turned 44, hate it and don't have cancer. COINCIDENCE?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:36, Reply)
Due to having to dash back and forth
I ended up having an M&S ham, cheese and pickle sandwich.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:51, Reply)
I do know a guy that quite regularly has a bowl of instant stuffing with ketchup as a meal.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)
It's you, isn't it?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)
me sir?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
with your weird cambridgeshire ways.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
fucking hell.
My old housemate used to throw super noodles over the top of pie and chips.

I've also seen people microwave a whole haggis and just mash it up with a fork and shovel it in.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)
I've done that. I like haggis.
My old housemate used to eat super noodles on toast and consider it a proper meal.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)
It's not abhorrent, but if you've got basic cooking facilities you could get some gravy out.
And have some (s)mash.

I also like haggis; the Nepalese I went to at the weekend did haggis pakora.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)
I've only done it in work where they only had a microwave,
At home I boil it, spread it on a baking tray and bake it.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)
The co-op down the road does tinned steak pie filling.
I've considered whether I can knock up a 'banquet' involving it, smash some peas and the works boiler/microwave.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
Last Burns night
we went to a do round a friends and there was also vegetarian haggis which was rather odd
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I can never understand why vegeterians try to make food that looks/tastes like the products they refuse to eat?
If and when I choose to eat a vegetarian dish it's precisely because it's not meat.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:54, Reply)
It was basically barley mushed up
The missus is a foodwrong so I often do quorn based dishes which are ok, her point is that its the "food with a face" bollocks rather than the taste or look, so she can have imitation meat.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:56, Reply)
Vegans are even worse
I've had to be quite rude to one that insisted on shoving their foodwronger beliefs down peoples throats
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:01, Reply)
Well of course you do, because if you wanted a dish that looks/tastes like meat you can eat meat.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:57, Reply)
^ This

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:02, Reply)
So what do you not understand?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:07, Reply)
If the idea of eating meat is so abhorrent why try to simulate them

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:09, Reply)
+t

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:11, Reply)
Perhaps not all vegetarians find the look/taste of meat to be abhorrent

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:24, Reply)
What percentage of them would be your guess?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)
I don't care

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)
You cared enough to bring it up

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:31, Reply)
fray bentos tin pie, smash and a tin of marrowfat peas.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)
Smash + Beans + Corned Beef when I'm 'ere.
/ac
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:36, Reply)
FUCK MARROWFAT PEAS
vile things.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:54, Reply)
My ex used to mix up packets of stuffing mix with hot water and eat them out of the bowl.
No ketchup though, that's just wrong.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
Please make up your own joke about her liking a good stuffing

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
she needed the energy to shag all your mates.

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Then why not just eat bread and herbs?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Mates?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Trojans?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:44, Reply)
Dulux?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)
Andrex?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)
Nicole?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)
Bleu?

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:48, Reply)
I still remember the yoghurt cake
cooked by a vague acquaintance with no knowledge of cookery science, who thought that it didn't matter if he didn't have enough yoghurt because he could just use vegetable oil instead. The end result was like a limp and impotent brick after a kiln misfire.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:13, Reply)
we made ginger cake when i was at school
someone brought mixed herbs instead of mixed spices. it did NOT look or smell good.

also someone else thought it would be a good idea to swirl red, blue and green food colouring into a cake, like a psychedelic marble effect.

no. like a grey mutant dishcloth effect.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:14, Reply)
Haha Ginger cake

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:15, Reply)
our class thpethul once brought cauliflower instead of cornflour for a cake
in his defence, he probably spelled then both "conflowa" so it was entirely his idiot mum's fault
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:27, Reply)
That takes some doing.
Unless, obviously, you're a mong.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:32, Reply)
He's dead now. He had something pretty grim I think. He was tiny and thick as fuck.
It's still his mum's fault for thinking cauliflower was a sensible cake ingredient.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:34, Reply)
Maybe she took advantage of his relaxed standards
by giving him a cauliflower with candles on it on his birthday every year.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Are you all still talking about food?
Fat bastards.

This back to work day has been cushty. Lots of meetings and I now have a magic dual screen!
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)
I've only been in for an hour and already I've had some Indian sweets and frankly bizarre Sri Lankan spicy crunchy sweet things

(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:29, Reply)

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