BUDGET DAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alt: Dozer y/n

I've got work and stuff to do with someone today and probably won't participate in this thread much, so just talk amongst yourselves, yeah?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 8:48, 97 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Oh boy! I hope they announce some pointless tweaks to a needlessly arcane system!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 8:58, Reply)

I can't wait to type my mileage and pension contributions into a newspaper budget calculator app!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)

There better be a freeze on beer and whisky duty again or I'm not voting!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

as long as they keep vat on tampons, I'll be happy

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)

Can't get rid of it due to EU law.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:23, Reply)

Is this you coming out in favour of UKIP's preferred flat tax system?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)

as long as it's only charged to Poles and Muslims

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:19, Reply)

^ has a plan for a fairer Britain.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:26, Reply)

practically Aryan, in fact

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

twtj

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)

Let's pretend that this is true,
so I can look clever.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)

excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:39, Reply)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)

YESSS full house
good work
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

Just need to get it as the subject of the newsletter

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

and replace the FAQ

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)

not thread stomping on /offtopic
Legless wouldn't do it
( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

Cheers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)

cheers

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:05, Reply)

Ahem....
I left a placeholder, as is the convention, before posting a real answer.

Unlike you.

Wanker
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

gone too soon :(

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

His finest moment
b3ta.com/questions/racistgrandparents/post1407042
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)

no self-awareness, love it.

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:19, Reply)

The best bit of that is *mvee telling us what a successful piece of trolling it is.
b3ta.com/questions/racistgrandparents/post1407779
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)

poor old envee
He's not half the man he used to be

And he used to be really shitweak
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:34, Reply)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:48, Reply)

cheers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)

bit early mate, it's not until the afternoon
Alt: n
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:14, Reply)

you're probably one of these soppy pricks who waits until after 11am before getting pissed

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

I'm Scottish mate, there is no 'too early to get pished'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:36, Reply)

^regular at the portals.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)

when the tour de france came through York last year we went straight to the pub afterwards
I was queuing outside a pub at 11am. I felt well Scottish.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

I love early drinking tbh.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:43, Reply)

no spirits until midday though, I'm not a savage

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:44, Reply)

Quite
not until the sun is over the yard-arm.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

bollocks to that
I'm not having a fucking Virgin Mary for breakfast
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:49, Reply)

hope he budgets enough to be bring back those emigrants.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)

y or n for what?
if you mean going within 100 miles of his gurning pierced face, then NO. if you mean a horrible death involving much humiliation and fire, then YES.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:44, Reply)

You love him, you want to be his gurlfriend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:48, Reply)

i wasn't born a hamster
what does dozer have in common with a hamster?

they both love to stuff their cheeks
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 9:48, Reply)

and they go round and round in a repetitive circle

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)

Might vote UKIP just so I can see what early 30s Germany must have been like.
I like history, me.
( Kroney, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

I don't think Farage has even a fraction of a % of the appeal that Hitler had at the time

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:15, Reply)

If the last century has taught us anything, it's that a dictator needs a sexy moustache to get taken seriously.

( Kroney, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:29, Reply)

Hitler was against tabs as well.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

if I'm honest, dozer is secretly alright.
Budget day is not something that interests me, as a middle earner with no dependants or disability or alcohol habit or a job that requires a lot of fuel, or the need to feed six kids on a budget or in fact having any real financial struggles it's just going to pass me by. I'll probably be technically worse off or something, but it's not something that engages me.

Now, if it was pie day, I'd listen.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)

the personal allowance is going up.
You'll be slightly better off.

Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

it seems exceedingly unlikely that a Tory gubmint would make life more comfortable for the already comfortable
surely their core values and voters will mean they'll invest heavily in social infrastructure and support for the poor and vulnerable
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)

that's true, 600 quid isn't it?
How much does that translate to each month?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

About 50 quid.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)

sure? it's 600 quid that I pay tax on less, so it won't be a straight 600÷12

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:21, Reply)

he's a nurse
they get paid in crepe bandage and warm feelings
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:30, Reply)

120 quid
So tenner a month.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:33, Reply)

show your working

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

Stupid Smarch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Is the number of financial quotes not proof enough?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)

dunno ... he's either innumerate or an idiot

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:55, Reply)

??

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

£10 or fewer

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)

a million dollars

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

+ Zimbabwean

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:27, Reply)

he seems to upset the perennially upset purely by existing
the awful bully
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

hello!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:50, Reply)

I dunno mate, I'm a lovable bellend, no idea why such savage hatefulness is directed my way from those socially and intellectually inferior to me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:55, Reply)

It could be worse, you could be DBT.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)

god ... imagine

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

fucking hell mate
Get some help.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:32, Reply)

Alright 'Clarkson'

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:20, Reply)

www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/budget-to-focus-on-growth-jobs-and-old-greedy-bastards-tempted-to-vote-ukip-2015031896407
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

alright

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)

It's all about businesses or some other bollocks
alt. N. He killed beeter

First proper Spring feeling morning today. Its glorious.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:54, Reply)

Nah, it always does this in March just to fuck with us.
It'll be fucking snowing in a couple of weeks, you mark my words.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:55, Reply)

can I not just forget you said this, then when it does snow in a couple of weeks
bring it up in a witty anecdote?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 10:58, Reply)

There will almost certainly be some token gesture to appeal to old bastards thinking about voting ukip.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:28, Reply)

tax relief on ruby port, union jacks, and the Daily Mail

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:29, Reply)

typical Labour voter

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:33, Reply)

I think you mean LIE-BORE snerf snuffle snerf sniff

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:34, Reply)

Za-Nu Liar Bore, actually

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

gordon CLOWN hahahaha!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:45, Reply)

Working from home
which paradoxically leads to me mucking about on the internet less rather than more.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

I find it takes me about 10 hours to do about 5 hours work rather than the usual 7

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:22, Reply)

It depends on what else is going on in the house though
I can get fuckloads done if the coffee is on and the house is quiet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:46, Reply)

If it's your own time you're wasting it's not as fun

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:48, Reply)

it's all your own time
you don't live longer just by during in an office for an extra few hours a week
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:15, Reply)

Why has petrol gone back up 10p a litre or so when crude oil is still cheap?
BASTARDS, THATS WHY

However, Stamford Brook Shiraz is now only £4.50 a bottle, so thats good
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:46, Reply)

You are correct, we should probably have moved over to free range bio oil-fired electric bicycles by now
/tangles
( Kroney, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:54, Reply)

It fucks me off, it does
Just had the Mrs car in for MOT and service. £176 with 2 advisories
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)

I never bother with advisories. They usually sort themselves out by the next mot.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:05, Reply)

so £140 for the service
that's not too bad.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

Yeah, I was quite pleased with that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)

Please think of the jobs.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)

SHANT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)

I never pay more than £4 for a bottle of wine

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

I've not tried the Sainsburys own wines
Tesco ones are rather nice though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:00, Reply)

Aldi and Lidl do some good ones.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)

petrol was 105 when I bought some last night

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)