Fucking Metallica.
What's wrong with some good old fashioned pop music anyway?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:54, 3 replies)

Did you have to let it Linger….
The Cranberries.

I said I liked The Cranberries because a girl I liked also said she liked them. We went to see them live together - my first concert experience, FFS. To my certain memory, we reached at state of ‘advanced canoodling’ listening to them on several different occasions. I still have two of their albums upstairs (16 (!!) years later) as it seems a shame to throw them out.

My name is Mattblack and I hate The bloody bastard Cranberries. Always have. Always will. Sorry Helen :(

EDIT: She liked Cast too. Jesus.
(Mattblack Has a Program Alarm, 1201, on, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Pearoast about R and Frickin' B
R and frickin B

One pretty, underdressed, nasally whining bint with a passable voice, terminally unable to use one pure note when she can ram forty-seven in the same space. Then we get to the male part. What the holy jamstranglingbastardfuck is HIS raison d'etre? Monotonally slurring through some "gangsta" bollocks while swaying, grabbing his crotch and waving his arm like a shit-flinging simian.


And don't get me started on "Fiddy cent". Just don't.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:47, 2 replies)

any band whatsoever
that plays music with a beat that goes DUM DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM DUM DUM over and over again. never mind that you can't tell when one song has finished and the next one has started, never mind that the bass can vibrate your coffee cup off the table, never mind that there are fucking HUNDREDS of these bastard songs out there.
no, what pisses me off the most is that 16-year-old cokeheads fucking LOVE this shit, just like the prick who moved in above me and subjected me to 7 months of nightly noise, makng me feel like i was trying to sleep on a dancefloor.
seriously, i'd rather fucking listen to enya.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:41, 13 replies)

That Jay-Z
He's all "money-cash-hoes".
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:40, 7 replies)

Let's hunt and kill Billy Ray Cyrus
Case closed: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSm8rAOaLtE
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)

A Non-Exhaustive List...
Scouting For Girls - trite talent-free shite.

Noah And The Whale - They Might Be Giants do NOT need a tribute band.

Reef - Gary Stringer wails like a half-pissed yokel from Somerset who's been at the expanding foam sealant.

Boy bands - Cunts, the lot of them.

Nu-Metal bands - See above.

I guess Oasis don't count now they've split up, but I'd still like to see them meet an unfortunate accident with an industrial meat grinder.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)

All those Hank Williamses
There are just so fucking many of them!!
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)

The wankers who think it's hi-larious
to form an impromptu brass-band with kitchen implements and march through a residential street at 4am.

Wishing, hoping, praying that your zany antics cross paths with some pissed up homicidal knife wielding peasants.
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Scouting For Twating Girls
Elvis isn't dead
Elvis isn't dead
Elvis isn't dead
cause I heard him on the radio

Oh my mistake Elvis can't be dead if you've just heard him on the radio...
You bunch of useless cocking cocks - cock off to cocksville cockachusetts!
( Peter RICK A dog that shits fruitcake? We're rich!, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:08, 4 replies)

Woohoo! I had th worst band ever
School band, of course. Played the school Christmas gig. I was the uncool kid and the cool kid wanted to play bass so I didn't.
The irony is later on in life I was in a successful rock band, we even got a number 1 (although I was dying for a number 2).
So I became a rock god for about 1,2 nano seconds and he didn't:P

This is Axl ROse BTW.

No. Not really. I'm Chris De Berg.

No. Not really. I'm Amy Winehouse.

No. Not Really. I'm Barbara Woodhouse!
( riverghost servicing your mum since, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Whitney Fucking Houston
For being a robot-like hyper-efficient singing machine with less soul than bucket of cement and murdering a rather sweet song by Dolly Parton (which if you knew why she wrote it, would bring a tear to any eye)

Said cover version was #1 in the U.K. for 18 SODDING WEEKS!! In that time, I worked at 3 different temp jobs (a kitchen, a warehouse, a candle factory) that each met the following criteria:
1. Radio on all day.
2. Radio tuned to fucking Capital Radio
3. Impossible to be out of earshot of radio or change the station.
4. Capital playlist policy = at least 1 play per hour.

FOR 18 SODDING WEEKS! I grew to hate this song INTIMATELY. Every warble, trill and self-indulgant note of it.

Whitney, Iiiiiiiiiii-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-iiiiiiiiiiiiii-e-i-e-i will always hate youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooo!

(Apart from when you got busted for a kilo of weed at an airport, and just walked off and went home when they left the door open. That was cool.)
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 17:03, 3 replies)

That band you don't like anymore
I thought they were shit before you even started to like them.
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:48, 1 reply)

I Love Music.
I can see the goodness in any genre, hip-hop, opera, dance, britpop, happy hardcore, thrash metal, a man with a set of spoons farting a heavenly chorus... it is all good. But. Oh but...

Music has taken a turn for the awful since about 2002 (or whenever Snowpatrol turned up). R and B used to be rhythm and blues, not its repetitive and boring. Hearing decent eighties songs getting ground through Bob Sinclar's casio keyboard or mangled by Cascada and those thighs has turned dance music away from it's disco-y roots and into the mainstream of shite.

Rihanna appears FOUR times on last week's top 40. FOUR. Years ago it was only the Gods of music like Lennon or Frankie Goes to Hollywood who managed things like that, now it is some big foreheaded, tone deaf bint with a voice that makes me want to push umbrellas(ellas - ellas) up her nose. Eminem has turned into a drunken piss, he was good at the start, a bit weak in the middle and is no dribbling to a disappointing finish. Owl City, OWL FUCKING CITY.! How in hell did they achieve a number one.? They should be forced to listen to that bag of crap repeatedly whilst being sanded by Damon Albarn and repeatedly kicked by the ghost of Jimmy Hendrix for daring to describe themselves as a band.

It isn't all bad. Every now and then a little chink of niceness appears but maybe it is my age, maybe it is the fact that evreytime I turn on a TV programme some bitch with a high pitched voice starts singing from an advert at me about treetops and eating picnics on a motorway because your car has broken down but it's ok as the world is better with yoooooooou. No love, it is better WITHOUT YOU. As in poke it. You lot make me want to go and kidnap Keane, shave them, superglue them to the rotting corpse of Keisa (I am not using stupid bloody dollar signs in names) and drag them along behind a truck spreading grit.

Burn them all. BURN THEM NOOOOOW.

ps Don't even get me started on Glee, Lady Gaga or The Script otherwise I will be here all night and possibly having a stroke at the same time.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:35, 7 replies)

dare I say it??
Fuck it: The Beatles... most over rated band in the UK's history, this only appears to be a few peoples opinion, but it's my opinion too, so fits the qotw.
(Kip, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:17, 15 replies)

'I'm in a band'
This isn't really an answer - so apologies in advance.

You see, rather than picking on some band who've made it big, I have to admit that it's the amateurs who get me down. What annoys me most is bands made up of people who are solely in a band for the sake of being in a band. People who seem to just see being in a band as a lifestyle accessory. Making you cool and interesting in the same way one of those charity wristbands apparently makes you caring.

Before you accuse me of being curmudgeonly, allow me to be clear: I have no problem with the concept of being in a band and making music for fun. I've done it, as have many of my friends, some with record contracts etc., and some carrying on without any thoughts of commercial success because they just love what they do. I'm really, really not against the principle. I think it's great to play music and good luck to anyone who does it.

What I am against, is every skinny-jean wearing, low-slung-guitar-wielding wannabe, or ironic-tee-shirt-sporting weekend DJ thinking they're the musical incarnation of Jesus, and must go forth and spread the good word.

I find myself being introduced to people all the time who tell me 'Oh, you should check out our band', or 'I do DJ-ing ', before mentioning any other thing about themselves, then often banging on about the whole thing way beyond my patience threshhold.

It's a hobby, for God's sake. A hobby! No one is here to interview you for the NME. Banging on about your music to everyone who you come into contact with is just self-absorbed and arrogant - not a sign of your passion and genius.

You might claim that it's all due to the desperate need to get publicity and build a following through word of mouth, but please realise that for most people you talk to it's a bit like being doorstepped by an over-aggressive salesman, or sat at a party next to a crazy-eyed evangelical.

Saying that, I do occasionally have fun replying 'Yeah, cool. What do you actually do for a living, though?'
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 15:44, 7 replies)

The Smiths
More specifically, the joyless racist cunt Morrissey.

Not only were they dull, whiny and pretentious beyond human understanding; not only were they musically vapid and lyrically asinine; not only are their fans the kind of people who give you that pitying glare when you smoke or eat meat or smoke meat or laugh - the worst part is they've somehow managed to convince people (possibly people with no ears?) that they're clever. They're like some quote I once read about Stephen Fry: "a stupid person's idea of what a clever person looks like". The kind of people who listen to the Smiths are the kind of people who discount the opinions of anyone who doesn't like the Smiths, because since listening to the Smiths makes you clever, anyone who doesn't listen to the Smiths must be some kind of dribbling troglodyte. (Much the same is true of Stephen Fry, actually; but since he's not a band I'll save that one for "national treasures you want to kick".)

Also, Morrissey is a joyless racist cunt.

That said, Tim Brooke-Taylor's version of Girlfriend In A Coma is fucking delightful.
(Shinigami, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 15:35, 6 replies)

Every band you've ever heard of! FACT*
Furthermore, all the worlds good musicians are broke! DOUBLE FACT**

And finally, there are no great musicians alive today...all the great musicians alive today are dead! TRIPLE FACT***




*Clearly not a fact
**Only a fact sometimes, a lot of good metal musicians have second jobs
***Shameless rip of an Art Blakey quote that I rather like.
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Sun 2 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Most of all
I hate your band.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I like U2.
But I download them on peer-to-peer.

Take that, U2 haters and U2.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 14:01, 2 replies)

So many to choose from
Beautiful South. So wet they could rehydrate the Sahara.
Coldplay. So fucking depressing they should form a suicide cult and hopefully take a few fans with them.
Jungle music, for influencing a bunch of wankers off their tits on E to wear hoodies, point at random people and say, 'booyaka' until the drugs wore off and everyone realised it was shit. It was banned in the local nightclub for causing the bass bins to reverberate themselves to bits.
Just about all electo-rave crap music in the early 90s produced by some tone-deaf cunt in a bedroom with a casio sampler, a drum machine and 10 minutes to spare.
The Cure. I tried listening to one of their albums, it sounded like everyone in the band had picked up a musical instrument for the first time and couldn't understand what it was.
Any boy band whose popularity depends entirely on one of them being gay (i.e. all boy bands).
All the rock/metal bands who tried to copy Bryan Adams with the next "Anything I do" love ballard while their fans, expected adrenaline fuelled guitary moshness, left in their droves.

And finally...

Anyone who thinks they can play the guitar because they know the first 8 bars of "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin and nothing else but. This happened to me so many times that for over a decade I was convinced this was the only song Zepp wrote, until I brought their 'best of' CD in a sale, listened to it and actually recognised most of the tracks (which are awesome). But the assosiation between "Stairway" and shit guitar players will never go away.
( mikeyyy, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 13:32, 1 reply)

Any band or producer that changes their sound purely to make money.
Specifically, those that make and sell music that they know is shit. There are bands/ producers that have brought out records that were superb in their context, then subsequently released garbage because it sells.

Pendulum did this- their early work on Ram records etc were superb- Another Planet and Vault got a lot of love in DnB circles- a scene that is notoriously insular and difficult to break into.

Their recent work is terrible, terrible stuff. The irony is, that judging by the quality of their early work, and their clear talent as DnB producers (not to mention El Hornet's skills as a DJ), they must be acutely aware that the sub-emo, nu metal garbage that they churn out now in pursuit of easy money is just terrible. I sincerely doubt that they would listen to it themselves if they didn't make it for their day job.

My ire at this kind of hypocrisy isn't limited to Pendulum (though in their notorious Dogs on Acid meltdown, they described DnB as a moribund, dying genre, then book people like Sub Focus to tour with them, and in their EM last year, played a lot of DnB), though Pendulum are a perfect example of this.

In the interests of balance, Atari Teenage Riot did exactly the opposite. They were signed to a major label, promising to deliver a record that would be akin to a pop punk version of 2 Unlimited, delivered an album of unreleasable hardcore noise and used the advance they received to set up DHR. For that, I salute them, as well as for Destroy 2000 Years of Culture, my second favourite Slayer sampling track of all time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 12:18, 5 replies)

I always respect the opinion of people who know a lot about music. If they tell me that Queen is crap then I will burn all my Queen cds instantly. If they say U2 is shit then wtf have it in my collection? It doesn't matter that I like it. What matters is that I am uneducated and these sages can enlighten me and prevent me from enjoying the wrong things. I am grateful to them.

I am also grateful that they can get home safely in their Ford Edsel and turn on their Bose sound system while they relax reading a Stephen King novel.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 12:16, 5 replies)

Bob Dylan
Whiny little curly-haired fucking busker. I'd love to insert that harmonica up his own left nostril for him...

And yes, I know he's not a 'band', but stick a 'l' after that 'b' and we'll call it even.
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 12:06, 5 replies)

A few years back I had an issue with my pc. Instead of playing that Windows sound when it started up, it played 'Achy Breaky Heart'. I found out later it had a Billy-Ray Virus.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Young Folks
I don't know which one of Peter, Bjorn or John it is whistling through the homebase adverts, but it sure shakes me to my senses after I've foolishly thought it might be a good idea to start watching something on ITV.

Fuck! It's in my head again.... Make it stop! Make it stop!
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 8:53, 1 reply)

Jason Mraz oh and Phil Collins
Now, I'll be the first to admit, I've only heard one song by young Mr. Mraz but he needs to be put to death for his grotesque mispronunciation of hesitate (Hes-er-tate) in his song "I'm yours". I'm all for using artistic license to get that tricky lyric to rhyme, but this is in the middle of a line and makes me cringe/scream at the radio every single time I hear it.
Phil Collins is also guilty of this crime in his cover of "You can't hurry love" it an-tic-I-pating not an-tic-A-pating, got it? use correct bloody english!
(SCar, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 6:19, 4 replies)

Robbie Fucking Williams.
Hell's horses, I'd love to hit him.

*ahem*

Being born in Essex, naturally my ol' man bypassed the 'Dad Rock' phase. Y'know, Eagles, Snow Patrol, Wet Wet Wet. Nothing offensive, nothing blue. Instead, he went straight into bombarding the family with Robbie 'strut across the stage like a chicken and charge people' Williams.

You name it, and that gurning smug faced cunt is available for every occasion. Drive from Spain to England? Robbie Williams. Christmas day since 1995 or 1996? Oh, you bet he's there whining his mewlings somewhere in the house over Radio 2. I bring a new boyfriend home? Yep, fear not, he's back for some reason. No doubt that when Nan leaves this mortal coil, then "Nan's song" will be played at the funeral... I never thought these words would grace this keypad, but gimme "You're Beautiful" at a funeral for all the tea in China.

He also prides himself of "I grew up in the 1970's, and NEVER owned Rumours" and then turned off Lindsey Buckingham's Gift of Screws as "it's shit, pretentious and headbashing music".

Stone the crows, I love you Dad, but you don't half talk shit at times.
(Mr.Cunt whacked his knob out in Asda on, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 5:40, Reply)

If there was any justice Rory Lyon would be voted the most pathetic cock&troll bland ever.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 4:05, 1 reply)

you know that band you like?
they're shit
( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 3:54, 2 replies)