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Tits, scientifically analysed

2nd edition to take into account new and updated research :D :p

From the Fake Science challenge. See all 228 entries (closed)

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:00, archived)

How does pertness factor into this?

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Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:03, archived)

What scales are we using? What's the standard unit for hairyness?

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Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:08, archived)

errrr lets say 0 is olympic swimmer, 10 is richard keys.

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:10, archived)

Standard Male Deviation I should think

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:18, archived)

For males, the exponent is negative and thus the fraction in parentheses is inverted

So a large-waisted male with small, hairy, asymmetric breasts and three nipples should be attracting a harem

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RedHouse over yonder, Sun 16 May 2010, 2:25, archived)

What is pertness measured in?

Is there some kind of international pertness scale, possibly approved by the EU?

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TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:09, archived)

I'm gonna have to go back to the drawing board with this one.

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:11, archived)

You _are_ debating Science(tm) with someone called 'Mu'...

;-)

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:14, archived)

So what you're saying here,

is an excruciatingly ugly lady's appearance can be rescued if she keeps her enormous hairy breasts on display at all times?

Seems reasonable.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:03, archived)

No Hairyness works against it. :p

the nipples on dispaly thing is a "tip of the hat" to some newspaper that basically did this as fact (ignoring the fact that if there's no tits on display, then they're no longer attractive) as a result of some bullshit PR a few years ago. Attributed to "crazed boffins" no doubt.

www.badscience.net/2008/12/transparent-excuse-for-printing-a-nice-pair-of-hooters/

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:07, archived)

I have CSE Maths

so no idea what is going on here also. Breasts are pants for me. Nice bum and legs, let the breasts do what they have to.

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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:18, archived)

I'm gay so I actually have no idea what i'm talking about :p

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sat 15 May 2010, 23:21, archived)

I got detention once for putting the simple formula for calculating the volume of a cock & bollocks (plus diagram) on a blackboard at the end of a school day.

I was 14 or 15 and didn't know the complex formula.

The young female teacher who registered her class of 11-yr-olds in that room the following morning took it in good grace.

But I was still forced to apologise to her. It was cool in the end, cos it was obvious she saw the funny side.

But no, she didn't put out.

Women, eh? What can you do?

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Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:25, archived)

a 14yo wondering if the teacher 'puts out'

you're so ...normal

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PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:30, archived)

Phew.

Thanks, Doc.

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Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:45, archived)

I just realised this makes breasts uglier the more you drink

With all hairy breasts, male or female, infinitely beautiful when completely sober.

*starts to lose faith in science*

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:37, archived)

that's not true,

really it implies that someone you'd sleep with after 0 beers is infinitely attractive

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.o0o.o0o.o0o. that's better, Sat 15 May 2010, 23:57, archived)

it also states that the more beers you buy for them, the more negatively attractive they are.

I really got top men onto this.

(Blythy Pop Quiz Hotshot..., Sun 16 May 2010, 0:38, archived)