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# 'I've got a great idea for a film called Lesbian Vampire Killers'
'That sounds brilliant! Lots of blood, sexiness and nudity, yeah?'
'Nah, let's just get that fat cunt Corden and his twat of a mate to gurn for an hour and a half, that should do it.'
'Yeah...awesome.'
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:28, archived)
# "So why is Corden funny?"
"...He's fat?"

"OH YEAH! LOL"
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:34, archived)
# it's annoying
I've got a mate who does a bit of stand-up, he's pretty good and so are a number of his peers. But the whole comedy circuit has been flooded with unfunny cunts like Russell Brand and his ilk, who get bigged up way beyond their talents, which means the real talents rarely get through.

Chris Morris for BBC comedy commisioner!
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:59, archived)
# This with brass knobs on!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:06, archived)
# ^that, with brass eyes on!
didjaseewhatididthere?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:12, archived)
# Don't get me started on Russell cunting Brand
The talentless waste of skin
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:15, archived)
# Got me started
Hack cunt. Sorry - forsooth, verily, my liege, the gentleman 'tis a hack cunt, ooooh.
(glammerocity state of the art Luddite, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:21, archived)
# say it in a mockney Kenneth Williams voice
and it becomes ten times funnier, apparently

the fucking useless cunt of a cunting hack that he is
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:23, archived)
# i dunno.
i think it's still possible to work your way up. Ive seen a couple of people at edinburgh playing shitty little venues who've now got big tours and dvds.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:19, archived)
# Oh,
This
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 13:03, archived)
# 'pparently...
the script had been knocking around for years, and NO ONE wanted to make it.
As soon as they got those two on board, they had people chucking money at them.

Fucking film industry is filled with idiots
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:22, archived)
# I wouldn't have minded them so much if the film had included:
a) lesbianism (beyond a token kiss or two)
b) gore (beyond the occasional trickle of blood)
c) nudity
d) any decent jokes

I'm still bitter that I watched it even though I downloaded it for free - I imagine if I'd paid to watch it I'd be livid.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:25, archived)