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# like most great loves...
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:25, archived)
# true
and where the fuck have you been hiding?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:27, archived)
# just on the edge of your peripheral vision
I'm inundated by dirty, dirty universtity work, so no real time for b3ta!
*kills self*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:31, archived)
# Nooooooooooooo!!
He had so much to give!

Why, WWWHHHHYYYYYYYY????!!!!


*builds new ivesb from old KFC boxes and chicken bones*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:33, archived)
# *gnaws on arm*
yummy!
chicken marrow.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:34, archived)
# Hahaha :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:35, archived)
# no, i'm afraid i simply cannot accept this.
you must quit university immediately, before latching onto a rich old baggage and shagging her to death, thus rendering yourself rich and with a studly reputation, if somewhat slutty. fame, bimbos and b3ta await.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:40, archived)
# Blimey Smash, it's like you're my sister or something.
Son, I want you to say hello to Auntie Monkey
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:41, archived)
# bloody hell, another nephew!
that's more uncomfy jumpers to knit for christmas. it's my duty as an aunt to make clothing that makes you look a cunt if you wear it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:43, archived)
# can mine say
#1 neph please.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:44, archived)
# whys my number 1 like that?
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:46, archived)
# yes it can
and it may have a moomin on the front
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:47, archived)
# oh please no!
they creep me out....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:49, archived)
# ok, what about a ducky?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:55, archived)
# quacktastic
A yellow one please auntie.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:57, archived)
# ok.
if the sleeves are too big, you can always grow into it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:01, archived)
# *clicks I Like This*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)
# hm.
I don't think my guns can get any bigger....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:03, archived)
# of course they can!
just eat your greens like a good boy!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)
# NEVER!!!
*flings green to floor*
I want STEAK!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)
# THAT'S MY BOY!
*serves up half a cow*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:05, archived)
# *eats innards*
*climbs in*
*falls asleep*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:08, archived)
# what, are you luke skywalker now?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:12, archived)
# wanna see my lightsaber?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)
# dirty boy! put it away!
save it for the old ladies!
oh, and if you call me an old lady, i'll have to cut you.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:16, archived)
# ok ok!
octogenarian
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:19, archived)
# you're going the right way for a smacked bottom
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:21, archived)
# Duuuuuuude...
That's your Auntie!


She probably does, too
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:16, archived)
# that's neither here nor there
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:20, archived)
# *gets bus to beverly hills retirement home*
hello young lady.





urgh!, dry....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:42, archived)
# don't forget the lube
those old bitches'll friction it down to a twoskin in no time
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:44, archived)
# no time for lube!
*scrapes*






*whimpers*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:47, archived)
# get a blow instead
they've got no teeth, so the worst you'll get is an enthusiastic gumming
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:48, archived)
# BAM!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:50, archived)
# Hahahaha :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:54, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:56, archived)
# Son!
*running dadhugs*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:30, archived)
# DAD!
*back breaking dadcatch*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:32, archived)
# Aww, I've missed you, son!
Y'alreet?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:33, archived)
# aya popsy.
Just busy at w*rk And uni
BAH!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:34, archived)
# Bah, that's not good.
Uni? Is that through w*rk, or are you changing your career?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:35, archived)
# nope,
same job, just a 4 year course.
(in third year now)
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:37, archived)
# Sweet!
Erm, son? I've got something to tell you...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:37, archived)
# *sits at dads feet*
what is it papa?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:42, archived)
# Well...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:52, archived)
# *squirms*
what?!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:54, archived)
# There's no easy way to tell you this...
...so I'm just going to tell you straight.


You're going to have a step-mum
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:54, archived)
# WOO YAY!
More christmas/Birthday presents!!
Star wars lego me up!!
When, and wheres my invite?
=D
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:56, archived)
# Hahaha, I knew you'd be pleased :D
Not for another 18 months or so, and your invite will of course be in the post :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:57, archived)
# score.
Excellent news pops!

does mum know you have a 31 year old son?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:00, archived)
# Ha, of course she does, son! Erm, yeah, definitely!
I'm almost sure I told her ages ago, yeah course she knows O_o

Now sit here and eat these sweets...

*hands bag of sleeping tablets*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)
# crunch crunch crunch
crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch cru-
*slumps*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)
# Son? Son? SON!
Noooooo! He had so much left to give!

*looks around for more KFC bits*

*searches*

*Finds skip full of rubbish in garden*

*builds new Ivesb*

Sorry son, I couldn't find any more chicken bones. I've had to use these scaffold poles, boards and iron brackets...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:06, archived)
# *clanks around room*
jobs a good-un.
and with few adjustments.....
*re-points chimney*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:11, archived)
# :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:19, archived)
# if this is indeed the case
it's fabulous news! congrats to you both!
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:03, archived)
# It is indeed the case :)
Thank you very much :)

*return hugs*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)
# have you considered a naked wedding?
if you did, i'm betting channel 4 would pay for the whole thing
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:10, archived)
# trousers begone!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:11, archived)
# hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)
# Do you know, we haven't!
But now that you mention it, we still won't! :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)
# pfff
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:22, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:09, archived)
# Hahaha!
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:12, archived)
# o/ -hello old people...
...come sit in the sun where it's warmer.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:57, archived)
# Fucking hell, attack of ye olde regulars in here tonight!
'lo KM!

'lo Ivesb!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:35, archived)
# WHOOOP!
*tongue kisses*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:36, archived)
# *turns a blind eye*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:36, archived)
# *secretly enjoys*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:38, archived)
# *looks down*
not so secretly.
how the duece are you old boy?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:40, archived)
# Bloody tired, but other than that not too bad
Awaiting an OFSTED inspection at some point, thus w*rk is a hotbed of stress - hence being on here :D

How the devil are you good sir?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:50, archived)
# got a new laptop and just breaking it in with a bit of b3ta.
and avioding doing revision
sorry sir.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:52, archived)
# Ah yes... 'Christening' a new lappy
As good a reason as any :)

Lady Doom has just informed me we're going to see The Damned up in London on Saturday. The day just got ace!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:57, archived)
# Yay!
I'm going to see Opeth on Saturday... not sure I'm going to enjoy it, but it'll be a good excuse for a few beers with my brother :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:59, archived)
# I'm going to see a hippo get eaten right now....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:01, archived)
# ANY gig is good!
This'll be my first gig in about three years, unless you count school concerts, which I don't.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)
# Blimey... O_O
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:03, archived)
# Yes. Quite.
Having kids'll do that to a man...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:10, archived)
# Sonic!
Aw yeah, this is all of teh ace!

How goes it, sir?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:36, archived)
# *mumble mumble mumble fucking teaching mumble mumble*
errr... I mean... Great! How the devil are you sir?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:37, archived)
# I'm pretty good, ta :)
Still waiting for the Jackson... latest update is January O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:38, archived)
# JANUARY????
Fucking hell, are they getting Damien Hirst to paint it or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:51, archived)
# Fuck, I hope not!
I suspect it just gets pushed to the back of the queue if someone more famous wants a guitar built.

I bet I'm the only one with a Kelly on order though!
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:53, archived)
# Someone more famous?
*fails to comprehend the world outside B3ta*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:58, archived)
# I know, right?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:59, archived)
# They know it's for you don't they?
Maybe it was just a mistake - the new admin's first day on the job or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:01, archived)
# who?
*ducks a clip round the ear from dad*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:55, archived)
# That wasn't going to be a clip round the ear, that was a fatherly approving arm round the shoulders!
Still, I don't care. You're covered in chicken grease anyway :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:57, archived)
# *snuggles in*
*slips out*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)
# Ha ha ha ha ha
*slides Ivesb around the floor like a cat with a ball of string*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:05, archived)
# I couldn't think of any other contemporary artists
other than Banksy, who is about on a par when it comes to be ubiquitously annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:59, archived)
# he stencils.
BWAHAHAHA!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:06, archived)
# I would like him if he filled them in with pencils
Then I could imagine him, about to set off on a days artsing, saying to himself "Right - got me stencils, got me pencils. Let's go!"
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:11, archived)
# and when he gets there...
'wait, no sharpener'


'NOOOOOOOOOO'
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 21:15, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:50, archived)