b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Message 10687660 (Thread)

# No, it's the one
where you stand in a pub shouting at a tv with people wearing the same polyester top as you and then having a fight with someone wearing a different polyester top

It's great fun
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)
# Where can I join in with this 'the footballs'?
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:24, archived)
# Most local public houses
offer outreach schemes on a satuday and sunday afternoon.

There's also a rumour than can actually go and watch some "the footballs" but that's dying out now.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:26, archived)
# can you go to a pub and choose not to watch this "the footballs"?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
# oddly enough, I nipped into my local this week to catch up with a mate
and the footballs was supposed to be on, but they were just showing a cat on some grass

it was brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:37, archived)
# Highlight of the match, even for me
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:44, archived)
# That would explain all the dead cats around here then
all of the had YU FAKIN CUUAAANT written in THE BLOOD OF THE CATS.

the footballs is evolving.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:46, archived)
# In our local I was almost set upon by a 'the footballs' fan
because apparently I reminded him of a french goalkeeper, which of course meant that i 'deserved to have my fucking back broken'.

Sadly thats a true story.

I stopped going to any 'the footballs' public houses shortly afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
# The best way to avoid this
is to pretend to like "the footballs".

Some good stock phrases include:

"the big man at the back"
"shocking challenge"
"shocking defending"
"the big man up front"
"typical fucking "
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:43, archived)
# Sunday league's better viewing, you get to freeze your bollocks off while hearing phrases like
"Man on your back!"
"Man coming up your arse!"
"Good head!"
"He's not hungry for it"
"Take his legs out!"
"Ooh, I've dropped the soap!"
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
# "Well in!"
"Out the window!"
"Man up!"
"John's on!"
"Watch that big cunt!"
"Fucking typical Germans!"
"I say, I appear to have relocated myself to a position where your passing me the ball may result in a fortuitous outcome"


(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:54, archived)