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[challenge entry] Making the Right Wing Press Happy

From the Modernise Books challenge. See all 142 entries (closed)

(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 22 Feb 2023, 14:05, archived)
# I'm glad I have old versions of Dahl's books without all this sensitivity edited bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 14:35, archived)
# I'm not for re-writing a dead author's work.
If you don't want children reading the old material, just keep it away from them. Or do what other media have started to do and introduce a content warning. I happened to catch the opening of 'Crocodile Dundee' on film four the other night. Before it started, I was told the film contained ideas and humour that was 'of its time'. This is fine. They've probably edited that bit out of the second film though when he snogs a transvestite.
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 22 Feb 2023, 14:39, archived)
# Publishers have been updating childrens books since Gutenberg.
The Grimm fairy tales used to be a lot fucking grimmer.
(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 16:27, archived)
# I have those original versions. there's nothing Disney about them, which is great. same goes with 1001 Arabian Nights. I am not impartial to Francis Burton's version
Disney made a fucking Jasmine out of Badr ul-Budur, the cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 17:32, archived)
# You seem perfectly normal.
(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 18:50, archived)
# Unless you've got a first edition,
that's probably not true.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_and_the_Chocolate_Factory#Publication
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 14:53, archived)
# Isn't calling a kid enormous still fat shaming?
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 15:08, archived)
# I thought 'enormously thick-featured cunt' was going a bit far.
(Octo I ruin everything., Wed 22 Feb 2023, 15:12, archived)
# At least he changed that early draft
where dead oompa loompas get rendered down into sustenance paste for the other workers
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 15:36, archived)
# haha you could have fitted dozen in there
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 16:47, archived)
# You spelt Shower of Bastards wrong
(rogerzilla, Wed 22 Feb 2023, 19:24, archived)