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# heres a little something i threw together
as a rival to our village bulletin, at the moment, the Hutton Cranswick Newsletter will be limited to two copies, one on each notice board in the village, but if i can be arsed and get enough resources, it might get bigger. hopefully (although unlikely) it will fool all the old biddies. just a little project of mine
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:16, archived)
# woo yay!
everyone needs a hobby!
(I helped save b3ta! whizzbang, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:20, archived)
# hmm
i'd think twice about posting that on a village notice board if i were you. it could very easily be taken the wrong way

(edit)especially if there really is a hutton cranswick school
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:22, archived)
# thats
why i want it up. my village is full of oldies and i want to see if that buy it. "lost the use of his face" indeed.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:23, archived)
# well, don't say i
didn't warn you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:25, archived)
# just read the edit
i come from hutton cranswick. all places mentioned are real, all people mentioned do not exist.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:29, archived)
# ok
i'll say it straight. i don't think that is absurd enough to be seen as a joke. I would view it more as a hoax than a parody or satire.
I think that it has the potential to upset a lot of people, and not in a good way.
i can see this going very wrong, especially in a small village

but that's just my opinion
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:38, archived)
# ok
thats cool. i dont think for a minute that its going to get as much publicity as i want it to. i dont think its going to get a thousandth of the publicity i want it to. i just dont like my village and its values and its locked away society ethic, so i just want to stir up some shit before i go back to uni. but cheers for that anyway.
edit: oh, it is a hoax though.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:42, archived)
# I hope they DO take it seriously
f****** inbred small-minded racist, sexist, anything-ist, waste of oxygen "they make Royston Vasey seem normal" morons.

/bitter
(Psi, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:48, archived)
# have you lived here
or visited it? you seem to know it awful well...
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:50, archived)
# FACT:
all such villages are identical bar accents and differing (but equally absurd) "local" things.

so you see, i don't need to visit :o
(Psi, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:57, archived)
# i assume the real newsletter
has a similar quality of news coverage to yours...
(I helped save b3ta! teflon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:24, archived)
# ballroom dancing lessons at the village hall every wednesday
thats just about it. theres no news it other than that, just full of adverts. oh, and the editor bitching about how no one gives two tugs about the bulletin.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:25, archived)
# When does school term start again?
jesus f. christicles.
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:30, archived)
# my brother
goes back tomorrow. ive got another fortnight off.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:33, archived)
# there is no justice
maybe in the extra two weeks you should learn about sarcasm and irony.
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:37, archived)
# i consider myself
incredibly well versed in the art of irony, and am currently studying for a doctorate in sarcasm. so instead, i will just do my music essay.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:39, archived)
# "The Power Of Christ Compels You To Call..."
Legend.

My parents moved away from the North several years ago to live in an awful East Midlands village.

Therefore: I like your style. :D
(Psi, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:30, archived)
# i live in the god awful
most backward part of yorkshire, and go to uni in leicester, and have literally stabbed my entire family in the back by saying i dont want to move back there when i finish uni. i hate the place.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:32, archived)
# My mother
doesn't understand why I have no intention of moving in with them in the village.

I don't think the fact I've loved living in or near the big city all my life is enough of a clue.

Or the fact I'm 24 and live in my own place now.

Or the fact that every time I come here to visit I want to murder 99% of the God-awful inbred Royston Vasey-esque morons from round here (the other 1% are the ones who escape like you did).

Or (etc etc.)
(Psi, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:38, archived)
# i feel your pain
brother.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:40, archived)
# Fortunately
I've never lived where my parents now live for longer than two years (had to move back in with parents cos they lost jobs etc.). Unlike you I didn't grow up in village hell and don't nominally 'live' there now, thank fucksocks.

Those two years were the worst of my life, no contest, so i'll contribute to your breakout fund ;)
(Psi, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:44, archived)
# which village?
c'mon... spill!
(I helped save b3ta! stup0t, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 19:02, archived)
# The dead kid story...
...is a tad on the strong side.

Use your powers wisely.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:34, archived)
# i know
but this can go two ways, i keep doing it or i dont keep doing it. therefore i have to start with something big. anyway, the body of the story is so stupid...
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:36, archived)
# village green...
stake... and burning at, springs to mind.
Tho I do understand having lived in a small village for a year in my teens cos the folks thought it would be "cute" to live in one..
(I helped save b3ta! Coprolite, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:44, archived)
# oh theres nothing cute about my village
its about as cute as a dysentry ridden goat which has just been "put to sleep" with a hammer through its skull.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:49, archived)
# You'ld be better off
making that story have a few more incredulities in it, the current ones, like "lost the use of his face" are a bit subtle, IMO.

I like the "unknown man goes into shop" story, though. That's good.
(I helped save b3ta! pagram, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:45, archived)
# well, like i said
i have just thrown it together, i really should have mentioned that this is kind of a draft.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 18:47, archived)
# anyone got a text version
for us non-microsofties?
(I helped save b3ta! stup0t, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 19:01, archived)
# hang on five mins, i will stick up
a txt document with for you
(there arent any pictures in it yet anyway)

EDIT: reet, here you go
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 19:08, archived)