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# Luckily I'm ready...
...for when the government drops its biometric database down the back of the sofa

A quick change and I'm away.
(I helped save b3ta! Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:02, archived)
# Isn't there some job
that wears away your fingerprints? It was something to do with pineapples, as I recall. That would bugger 'em right up.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:06, archived)
# They'd probably
just execute you for not fitting their plan. But yes, I heard that about pineapples too. Sounds like one for Mythbusters!

(I helped save b3ta! Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:07, archived)
# Cheese grater.
(I helped save b3ta! collapsibletank procreates, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:07, archived)
# ow ow ow ow ow
Actually, wouldn't superglue have the same effect?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:08, archived)
# There was a crim mastermind type...
who spent several months dipping his fingertips in acid so he'd have no prints... After the bandages came off, he discovered that the skin had grown back with the same prints.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:09, archived)
# This is true
I'm sure I heard that on QI.

Also, koalas are the only animals with fingerprints similar to humans
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:09, archived)
# and chimps
I believe
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:11, archived)
# and stephen fry
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:12, archived)
# pineapples was mentioned on QI
so it's probably true
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:14, archived)
# *gets job as a pineapple*
*raids bank*
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:19, archived)
# I'VE BEEN FRAMED, I TELL YOU
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:28, archived)
# *falls over*
profit!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:40, archived)
# Working in plastic injection moulding got rid of mine!
They're back now though. You still leave sweat and stuff behind though.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:18, archived)
# you're basically buggered now for a lot of crimes that require you to be around
have to make sure you don't drop any dna anywhere
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:20, archived)
# Any job
where you continually handle coarse surfaces erodes your fingerprints, such as builders and working as a potter and suchlike.
This is why the Government's biometrical ID scheme is doomed; it has some basic assumptions that just aren't valid, such as that everybody has (unique) fingerprints, and that nobody wears contact lenses.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:20, archived)
# and they've got to decide
whether they like false positives or false negatives better. because there's going to be a lot of one or the other
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:24, archived)
# Well,
on account of the terrrrrrr that's going about, we'll all be better off if it's false positives. The more innocent people in prison, the better. In fact, what better way to protect the population from terrrrrrr than putting all innocent people in prisons?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:26, archived)