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# not get your end away?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:27, archived)
# nope :(
sent packing fairly swiftly, need to stop going after the sober ones
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:29, archived)
# haha
i was so fucking amazed wwhen i pulled some guy i had met the night before in the poub(this was the next day)..i was quite proud of myself. still am...he's a lot of fun.

all my relationships come form previous friendships..so it's quite fun to pull a complete stranger and have a giggle.


whats your pulling success rate?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:32, archived)
# i'm not sure
i'm normally too pissed to notice.

of late though it's been more randoms than people i know, the on/off ex was a mate first though
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:37, archived)
# it's weird
but i have a fuck buddy now and i never thought i would. but then i'm also incredibly fond of him and would marry him if he asked me. just for the sheer hell of it.
you could be maid of honour.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:38, archived)
# oh god,
not another one :(

my mate's getting married this summer (2 days before my birthday, i'm certain it's so i don't forget her anniversary) and if i was a lass i'd be maid of honour, or at least a bridesmaid.

i just don't look that good in a crimson dress
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:41, archived)
# Apparently I'm going to be ushering at my sister's wedding next spring.
I'm worried she might want me to cut my hair.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:42, archived)
# my sister
didn't make me cut mine, my mum was reet pissed off.

just realised this isn't my sister's wedding, but my cousin's a year later, but still photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v125/56/14/745030978/n745030978_548850_5791.jpg
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:46, archived)
# Do they really need all those body guards?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:47, archived)
# i can't answer that sir
please look to your left

*shoots with tranquilliser dart*
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:50, archived)
# Why do so many of my nights end this way?
*collapses*
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:51, archived)
# I never thought I'd hear you say that.
There goes my faith in humanity anyway.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:51, archived)
# awww.
you can be my other fuck buddy if you like.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:53, archived)
# double fuck buddy action?
:D
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:55, archived)
# I think you're going to have to add another item to your sig list.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:56, archived)
# triple if you join in
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:56, archived)
# yay for this! won't you end up walking like john wayne?
:D
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:58, archived)
# And you were the one moaning that I was obsessed with sex.....
*rolls eyes*
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:57, archived)
# Maybe you're both obsessed with sex.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:58, archived)
# you are
and weird sex.


i just like having sex.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:59, archived)
# Actually you said you would happily become celibate
and that it was boring.

Fucking changed your tune now you've got some cock in you.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:02, archived)
# i say a lot of things
and i would be happy celibate.

but right now for the first time in god knows how long i'm having a bit of fun.

and i bet my ex will read this and probably won't talk to me.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:04, archived)
# "I only liked you for your depressing introspection, you bitch!"
Having fun is rubbish, malevolence is the new fun.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:10, archived)
# Maybe you'd change your tune if you got some cock in you.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:13, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:15, archived)
# Probably to a strained whine.
I'd imagine.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:15, archived)
# That or screaming.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:16, archived)
#
screaming
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:17, archived)
# Correct.
Look behind you!
That's not really malevolent, is it?
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:14, archived)
# I could give you the phone number of a cocksucking whore, but it would be my phone number and I don't like the taste of cock and I'm not a whore.
Other than that my plan is flawless.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:33, archived)
# Are you prepared to make an exception?
*picks up phone*
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:34, archived)
#
phone Bingowings
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:36, archived)
#
picks finger
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:36, archived)
#
up lost to
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:37, archived)
# cuntlicking whore?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:37, archived)
# i'm up there ^
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:40, archived)
#
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:45, archived)
# if you were a real secret agent
you'd already have it.

(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:49, archived)
# Curse you Dr. KittyVomit!
My only flaw!
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:43, archived)
# phone no. please
;)
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:44, archived)
# 0800 1111
There was this bloke who was desperate for a job. He phoned the Job Centre day and night for two weeks but they never pick up the phone.
He piles in first thing on Monday morning shouting "You bastards never pick up your phone. I've been phoning you for a job for a fortnight and I keep getting "The number you have dialled has not been recognised."

The lady behind the bullet-proof screens says "What number have you been dialling?"

Bloke says "0800 1730. It's on your door."

Lady says "Those are our opening hours, ya daft cunt!"
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:54, archived)
# this true story is based upon a true story
isn't it :)
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:55, archived)
# WHAT?
they said they weren't allowed to tell people about that :'(

edit:

i love the fact my skype plugin is accepting the childline number as a real number, but not the "job centre" number
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:56, archived)
# Haha
I used to goad a friend into calling the "AIDS helpline" when we were young.
He phoned about five times in a row with all sorts of filthy (hetero) stories.

The last one he told was "I was simul-poking two girls at a party and then I licked my fingers.
Could I have got the AIDS?" and the bloke on the other end said "You've got a great
imagination and your stories have been, up until now, pretty erotic but could you please
get the fuck off the phone and let the homos have a chance".

FACT.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:11, archived)
# did he say it
in a camp voice??

love this BBC on this day link: it's a mystery Mario
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:22, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA
(, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:58, archived)
# Hahahaha
"unfit for work due to being a fuckwit"
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:00, archived)
# GET OFF MY BOARD
you dirty /talk scum!

:D
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:01, archived)
# since when was this your board?
and when did you stop being a cunt kickeR?
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:05, archived)
# it's my /board when it comes to being mean to vulga
just cos he wins on being here longer than me and having more fp's...the cunt.

and i mean that in the most lovely way possible.

and since i felt like changing my name.

(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:07, archived)
# Heh.
Been here FAR too long.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:09, archived)
# DON'T RUB IT IN!
GOD YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH!


(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:11, archived)
# salt/wound?
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:25, archived)
# i see
i'm having trouble locating your J78683 "Change of name and/or signature" form. You may have to re-submit and pay a fine madam
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:09, archived)
# *rapes*
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:14, archived)
# Ow!
Point your strap-on in the right direction, Mrs. Lady!
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:21, archived)
# oh alright...
*RAPES UNTIL BLOOD IS SHED*
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:21, archived)
# *giggles*
Wait! This blood is stale! TO THE CANCER WARD DR. KITTYVOMIT!

Dun dun DUUUUN!
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:27, archived)