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# I LOVE YOU!
YESSS#!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:02, archived)
# Where can I purchace some pants like this?
I'm willing to pay sterling.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:07, archived)
# it doesnt come with the cock bulge
you realise this right?
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:08, archived)
# *cancels order*
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:08, archived)
# i, however, come with an Enourmous cock bulge
;D
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:10, archived)
# pictures?
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:11, archived)
# PLEASE DONT RAPE ME!
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:15, archived)
# oh ok
*RAPES*


i didn't rape you!
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:17, archived)
# i suspect a healthy dose of
LIES!
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:18, archived)
# Shame it's on your forehead.
ZING
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:12, archived)
# yeahh? well....
you MUm's in on her head.
i 69-ed her spidermanstyle!
BOO YAH!
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:16, archived)
# how the fuck do you 69 someone spiderman style
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:22, archived)
# ok, you know the kiss spiderman has with mary jane in Spiderman the movie?
the one where he's hanging upside down so they have an upside down kiss?

well it'd be like that, except apparently i have a cock on my forehead... so hilarity ensued. keep up.
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:24, archived)
# oh sorry
I havnt seen it
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:24, archived)
# it's ok
*strokes*
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:26, archived)
# Oi
thats my special place!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:27, archived)
# but...
but you said.
you said WE were special ;(
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:27, archived)
# I said YOU were special quibble
and you always will be
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:30, archived)
# is... is this...
a goodbye?
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:31, archived)
# oh god i just noticed the brown stains on the front
and try your local charity shop.
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:08, archived)
# I bought Bonfire of The Vanities today from a charity shop.
I'm going to go and read it as soon as Flight of The Conchords is over.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:09, archived)
# i bought a necklace with some animal tooth on it from a charity shop the otherday. it's cool.
best charity shop find was two brand new nick cave t-shirts for a quid each. baaargain.
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:10, archived)
# i bought 5 H.G Wells compendiums from a charity shop today :)
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:13, archived)
# well i bought your mum from a charity shop today!
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:14, archived)
# I seldom buy anything from charity shops.
Although I went go through a stage, when a bit younger of buying 6 pairs of cheap socks from Primark or similar, and then defecating into one of the socks, and putting them into the bag of clothes my mum or nan would then take to charity shops.

I did this at least twice a month for three years.
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:18, archived)
# I would like this comment to not go unresponded to
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 5:31, archived)
# i bought a load of cool sci-fi recently
except i managed to get it sent to my home in shripshire... not london. good thing i'm going home soon :)

i got the time machine, cause i still havent read it. what did you get?

hold on... compendium does just mean book right?
or was it like a....thing?
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:18, archived)
# actually they're more anthologies really.
i've got the war in the air which i'm reading atm, the time machine, the hisory of mister polly, the time machine and several others i can't read the titles of as they're on the other side of the room
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:20, archived)
# That's cool.
I recently went through a sci-fi phase and as well as some classics got around to reading most of Peter F Hamilton's books, which were pretty great
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:21, archived)
# my next one to read is Moorcock
i'm working on a victorian style novel at the moment and i'm trying to getting to that sort of scientific romance mindset
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:23, archived)
# yeah, it's really cool reading early sci fi
back when they are called 'scientific romances' or something.

i'm reading Flatland soon, 1884 it was
it's more maths-fi though
i doubt that's a real genre name...
it's a story about maths though!
well... geomtery.
but still.
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:26, archived)
# geometry is just plain awesome
and thats a fact.

hypercubes ftw
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:31, archived)
# basially
it consists of 90% awesome and 10% deposited awesome solids.

i tell you what annoys me about sci-fi though
there's so much stuff out there, where they have a pretty cool idea, like Cube (or Cube 2: Hypercube.. actually basically the whole series) for example. but the scriptwriters just obviously have NO clue about how real people work, so the characters and plot developments are so... ugh.

i always find jules verne like that.
all his books seem to consists of are him reaming of a list of random facts he knows, a bit of semi-interesting plot, and then some wild fabrication of his.
impressive predictions sure, but as a story, and especially Now. yawn.

Orson Wells on the other hand. mo' like AWESOME WELLES!
i wish that was my joke there and then :(
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:37, archived)
# I'd say that's true of writers in general, not just science fiction and fantasy.
It's just no-one seems to mind when dramas are so cliched and poorly written than you want to shit your eyes out.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:39, archived)
# it's probably because
drama is usually a bit more subtle, so there's never really any ridiculous premise to pull it all apart.

not that there's anything wrong with ridiculous premises of course, as long as you keep it consistent.
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:44, archived)
# I think the worst character I ever saw in anything ever, was Anakin's character in Revenge of the Sith.
The writing in that was really apalling, it wasn't as if he even got lured in by an elaborate and cunning Monte Cristo style plot he just suddenly went evil.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:53, archived)
# come to the dark side anakin!
ok
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:55, archived)
# Shit I should really finish that 16th century Star Wars play I was writing...
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:59, archived)
# i swear to god you and my mate chris are the same person
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:03, archived)
# Why, does he hate you too?
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:05, archived)
# he thinks the world will validate him if he pretends to hate it
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:06, archived)
# Is he clincally insane by any chance?
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:09, archived)
# cyclically insane would describe him better
he's currently writing a jacobean league of extraordinary gentlemen
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:13, archived)
# That just sounds pointless.
Surely the Victorian times was enough of a dislocation from the usual standards of superhero sagas, I can't see what making it Jacobean would add.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:16, archived)
# caliban, the revengers etc
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:27, archived)
# But surely that's just having the exact same idea as The League of Extrodinary Gentlemen but just changing the time period and cast slightly.
I can't much see the point in copying Alan Moore's idea in such a fashion.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:31, archived)
# then why do a 16th century star wars?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:32, archived)
# Because I wanted to rewrite the Anakin and Obi-wan partnership breakdown and eventual turn well, instead of terribly and inplausbily as in the film.
For some reason I decided on the idea as a play, and I couldn't just have it exactly the same as the original star wars so I removed the future and made it one of the renaissance era wars in Italy to fit with the fact that it was a play better. That's pretty much it. I only ever wrote about one scene and then buggered off to do something more interesting, but the idea is still there.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 3:37, archived)
# this is true sadly. i think verne needs to be read when you're young and not concerned with characterisation too much
H.G. Wells strikes the balance right though i find.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:40, archived)
# there's this little quote from the epilogue of war of the worlds where he writes
'[i wrote some detailed something] that would scarcely be of interest to the casual reader'

which is so perfectly true.
verne just seems to be showing off his technical knowledge, and forgets he's not writing a Big Book of Boys Facts, he's writing a Story.
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:43, archived)
# this is what i love Wells for
"by a happy mingling of reasoning and intuition perculiar to her success she struck gold almost immediately. But the whole story of her submarine mining, intensely interesting though it is, must be told at some other time"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:48, archived)
# My book was like that until I realised the additional information was disjointed and pointless really.
So had to rein loads of the stuff in and just add them as amusing asides.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:48, archived)
# pratchett style footnotes or what?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:49, archived)
# Nay, I just tried to tie the actual information into the speech, plot or whatever is going on.
When previously it was either only tenuously relevent or just came completely out of nowhere. And I just made the stuff more concise and to the point generally.

If it does ever get published and subsequently carries on to the potential series, I think I'll just have to put out a compendium of miscellania which has all the unfunny stuff in, like evolutionary paths, the creation of some of the weirder escher worlds and so on.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:51, archived)
# Yay for maths...
Old MacDonald had a form: ei /\ ei = 0


/gets coat
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:31, archived)
# did you mention the time machine twice
because you went fowards in a time machine and then forgot you already did it when you came back?
:)
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:22, archived)
# oh dear i'm losing it a little bit....
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:25, archived)
# dont say that
you'll ruin the illusion!
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:27, archived)
# oh sorry....
i mean

oh dear i'm losing it a little bit....
my poor erection....
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:28, archived)
# mmmm
warm thoughts.
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:31, archived)
# Mmmm lava bubbling over your glans.
Sulphuric acid pouring down your urethra.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:33, archived)
# oh god. Too Warm!
TOO WARM!!!
(quibble, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:38, archived)
# Quiet slave.
*whips*
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:40, archived)
# My mind, it's unravelling so soon.
Reading anything which is really long in the space of a day is an ultimate headfuck, as the passage of time and huge number events starts to bleed in with reality.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:29, archived)
# I also bought You'll Never Walk Alone 12inch
for the Bradford City disaster, as sung by Keith Chegwin, Motorhead and ITN (all of them apparently) amongst others.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:14, archived)
# fuck that sounds pretty awesome.
last record i got in a charity shop was liberace or something, we have a liberace wall in the old record shop i used to work in. liberace ftw!!!

also

GOATSE GAFFNEY

(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:16, archived)
# Wow he looks reserved and conservative.
Top Gafney.


I'm going to go and read my book. Peace out b3ta. A-Town down. One love. Free Jason.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:20, archived)
# night night dean
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:21, archived)
# G'night!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:22, archived)
# No no no no no
this discoloration from a woman who was bleach her hair giving him a blow job. He is so irresistible that women who would normally let their hair finish bleaching decide instead to pleasure him while they have him in close quarters.

LET US NOT RUIN THE SEXY MAN.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 5:26, archived)
# What the hell?
I cannot handle this. Im off.

+++GOODNIGHT B3TA+++
+++MESSAGE ENDS+++
+++USER LOGOFF: WE ARE THE LEMON+++
+++SYSTEM SHUTDOWN+++
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:27, archived)
# I've just realised....
That is Matt Damon.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:32, archived)
# Manley?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 2:56, archived)