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# I think pretty Polly used mens legs in an ad campaign
or on the packets or something. I could go off on one here about how modern society's been conditioned into deeming thinner and thinner women attractive until the only legs left to sell tights are stick thin, curveless male ones, but then who cares? Speaking as a rotund individual, I couldn't give a shit what society thinks of the junk in my trunk. If a man doesn't like it, he can find a lesser woman.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:10, archived)
# It's a bit sick really isn't it.
And does anybody *really* think these skinnies look good? Personally my taste is similary to Robert Crumb's.
/married to a hockey player blog
EDIT: 'similary'??
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:14, archived)
# HAHAHA Robert Crumb's a favourite of mine
because chunky, busty Jewish girls are definitely FTW.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:14, archived)
# You're biased!
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:15, archived)
# Of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:15, archived)
# How did band practice go?
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:16, archived)
# We rocked it
but it didn't help my back at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:18, archived)
# *cough*hottoddy*cough*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:20, archived)
# I don't drink any more, be nice
I'm going to have more lemon and honey when I get home, with cayenne.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:21, archived)
# I am nice
I'm fucking wonderful... and I'm only pulling your plonker. Add cinnamon and nutmeg to the honey before you add the lemon juice (make sure you stir them in first to make a runny paste).

Also -- if your back/neck are still hurting next week I'm going to shout at you until you go and see a medical professional.

You have been warned.

That is
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:25, archived)
# :(
My back's been a pile of fail since mid-last week. Slept on the floor a for a couple of nights to try and help a little. Turns out it's really hard to sleep like that.

*offers back rub*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:20, archived)
# The floor doesn't help, I've decided *hug*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:22, archived)
# i hope your backs are better than the state mine was recently in
couldn't walk for 3 weeks cos them little bastards at L4 & L5 decided to gang up on me and slip out of line, nicely jamming my sciatic nerve in the process.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:24, archived)
# ouch!
I've got a bruised foot, if that helps.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:26, archived)
# I have a bruise about the size of a tennis ball on my knee.
I'm hoping it'll develop into some interesting colours for me to scare people with.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:27, archived)
# JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST
it's like the dawn of the dead in here - I'm staying away from you lot in case what you have is contractable
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:29, archived)
# I have the remains of a burn on my stomach as well.
If you're going to cook in your pants and are using a pan that's come out of the oven, be fucking careful.
As an added bonus, I headbutted the extractor hood as I recoiled.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, archived)
# you are no longer allowed to cook without adult supervision
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:32, archived)
# My girlfriend was there,
but her laughing didn't really help.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I meant so that someone could record it and
put it on youtube... because I'm THAT funny!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:36, archived)
# I fell down and grazed my knee last week
it's still a bit pink.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:33, archived)
# See a doctor, you maniac.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I'm going to have to wrap you all up in
bubble wrap and make you wear crash helmets in the super market... you're all too fragile!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:35, archived)
# cor!
I normally have to pay 'professional' ladies for that kind of treatment...

(does anyone actually say 'Cor!' outside of the pages of The Beano?)
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:43, archived)
# I do :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Hurrah for you!
It's the most apt expression to use when confronted with a mountain of mashed potato with sausages poked in it, I find.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:10, archived)
# you win the game of back pain
collect your prize at the top of this ladder.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:26, archived)
# I'LL WIN NEXT TIME, SPIDERMON.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:29, archived)
# yes you will pet
I'll make sure of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, archived)
# :((((((((((((((((((
*whines*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:33, archived)
# abso-fucking-lutely
I have Crumb's nerdiness, physique, and female-form-preference...

...but sadly not his talent. :(
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:16, archived)
# Oh, and Coop.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:18, archived)
# Coop?
*investigates*
oooh - that's some good work.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:23, archived)
# How come I'm not on your roster under "People who have Photoshopped a 'tache onto me"?
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:17, archived)
# Because that isn't a heading on there?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:19, archived)
# Why isn't there such a heading on there?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:24, archived)
# I don't know, I can't be expected to think of everything.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and kneel over the loo for a bit until I feel better.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:24, archived)
# Remember to lift up your moustache
and bend from the waist.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Still not feeling well eh?

My neck ache is getting much less these days, it'll be just a couple more days I think. Just hang in there.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:37, archived)
# "... everyone is beee-yoooooo-tea-ful
in their o-own wa-ay..."

(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:16, archived)
# i have quite thick and chubby legs
so thats another career opportunity fucked then.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:15, archived)
# I quite like a chap with a sturdy pair of legs.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:16, archived)
# yet spinndly thin arms.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Geoff Capes on the bottom
Kenneth Williams on top.


Now THAT'S a proper porno!

I mean, now THAT'S what you've just described.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:36, archived)
# with the skullet of The Bailey at the top though,
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:43, archived)