I'M THINKING OF GETTING BACK INTO THE LIFE-COACHING GAME.
DO SOME PUSHUPS AND GIVE ME TEN BUCKS.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:15,
archived)
One of my clients is a corporate coach.
Ten US bucks would buy you just over a minute of their time. Seriously.
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:18,
archived)
Yeah, I managed to get a few jobs a while back
Consultancy fees are fucking great if you can get them.
It's hard to get more than a couple of days work for any one business at those rates though - the expectation is you'll fix things pretty much instantly.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:21,
archived)
I GUESS THE WORLD JUST ISN'T READY FOR MY SHIFT-KEY ATTITUDE
My perfect job would be like Kato in the Pink Panther movies.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:25,
archived)
I'd be the best kato ever.
FUCK YOU, INTERNET.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:13,
archived)
seriously, wanting a corporate coach would be the time i kill myself.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:31,
archived)
You wouldn't be sorry for long if you hired me
the only catch is that I'm not moving to canada
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:35,
archived)
i'm a complete screwup, but i know they're nonsense.
i've done corporate, it's more insipidly predictable than victorian dancing.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:42,
archived)
Name one aspect of life that isn't (except maybe being in love).
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:50,
archived)
driving a moped while drunk with your feet trapped in big glass jars of mayonnaise.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:52,
archived)
I predict a crash and I also guarantee some ankle lacerations.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:54,
archived)
luckily there'll be plenty of mayonnaise about.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:56,
archived)
INSIPIDLY PREDICTABLE.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:10,
archived)
Oh but I am.
I'm totally going to shit rainbows into your mouth.
As pinochet said, "through reason or through force".
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:13,
archived)
when i hear the world 'culture', i reach for my friend gronkpan's rectum.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:43,
archived)
And then you realise that the pacific ocean is in the way.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:51,
archived)
you only think i'm in canada.
in reality, i live right next door.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:53,
archived)
At the registry of births, deaths and marriages?
That can't be comfortable.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:55,
archived)
I AM ASSUMING YOU DON'T LIVE ON SHITRAGS BLOCK
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:56,
archived)
assume nothing. i'm everywhere.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:57,
archived)
I don't think we can be friends anymore
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:11,
archived)
I have of late but wherefore I know not
lost all my mirth.
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:15,
archived)
Where did you last have it?
I'm not being a dick, think about where you were last time you were happy.
At the very least you'll know where you lost it.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:19,
archived)
man, i hope he wasn't straddling the bidet at the time.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:33,
archived)
are you kidding? that is what we life-coaches describe as a "quick win".
Either install a bidet or go somewhere that has one and BINGO, HAPPINESS RESTORED.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:36,
archived)
bingo parlours have bidets?
the low-class and poor are a surprising lot.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:46,
archived)
I used the word "bingo" to emphasise the whole "quick win" thing I said beforehand.
I do that sometimes.
BINGO! MISUNDERSTANDING RESOLVED
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:53,
archived)
that's ridiculous.
bingo is a serious game, like baseball and murder.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:54,
archived)
The only mysteries about murder or baseball are the ones that people apply to them.
They're blatantly obvious when all the facts are known.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:05,
archived)
you'll be better again soon, i trust.
let us know if we can help.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:29,
archived)
THAT'S HIS REFLECTOVISION.
THEIR EYES REFLECT (also: refract) THE LIGHT.
CHECK IT OUT, TTSSATTSR, IT'S REFLECTOVISION.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:00,
archived)
*_*...
(atomicA-bomb-a-nation,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 4:44,
archived)
I think I may have vectored this dog.
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 4:50,
archived)
i don't remember seeing that...
...i googled dog pics and this one came up.
(atomicA-bomb-a-nation,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 4:55,
archived)
I'll take a look but I doubt I can find it.
I have too many images.
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:05,
archived)
I hope that no matter how sad you are right now I can reason with you enough to be able to shit a rainbow into your mouth
I'd hate to force it on you
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:16,
archived)
I think probably only fairies can shit rainbows.
Are you a fairy gronkpan?
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:20,
archived)
DON'T ASKS THESE TYPES OF QUESTIONS
I had a thai duck salad last night.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:23,
archived)
FUCK, DO I ASKS ABOUT THE SALAD
OR DO I NOT ASKS ABOUT THE SALAD??
(mofaha┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:25,
archived)
I HAVE DECIDED IT APPROPRIATE TO INFORM YOU I TOOK MY SOCKS OFF.
LET IT BE KNOWN, INTERNET: I AM SERIOUS ON THE INTERNET, I CARE ABOUT THE INTERNET AND I HAVE A WHOLE LOT TO PROVE.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:10,
archived)
PEAR SALAD.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:30,
archived)
It was a good salad and I also ordered too many moneybags to eat.
My diet's been going really well but it was nice to eat a lot on a friday night. I did an 8km walk today to make up for it and it was a goodwalk in the sunshine. I've got little flaps of skin on the bottom of where my belly used to be.
also: I became 100% debt free last week, that still feels good.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:40,
archived)
PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME, BITCH.
IMA CUT YOU.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:45,
archived)
Open your mouth while I stand on this table.
BRACE YOURSELF FOR RAINBOWS
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:48,
archived)
*braces*
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:55,
archived)
I AM PAYING YOU WITH EMPTY PROMISES AND BROKEN DREAMS.
JUST LIKE YOU WANTED.
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:09,
archived)
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO IT
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
(gronkpan@vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:06,
archived)
i plated a little bioshock a while back.
it was fun and i died.
(postbearhas metal knees,
Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:28,
archived)
I thoroughly enjoy it. I hit everything with my wrench.