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# Oh hi there, Captain Hetero....
*hug* morning. If I offend anyone today I don't mean to, I'm not sure what's going on but everything I say today seems to make people get angry.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:32, archived)
# oh ffs.
*storms out*

;o) *hug*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:34, archived)
# :-(
*cuddle*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# I ate goose on Saturday and it was nommy
What about you?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:37, archived)
# Saturday I ate nada, I was gigging
Sunday I ate EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD:

Bacon and sausage sandwich
Bit of salmon
Peanut Puffs (amazing)
Rhubarb & Custards
Pringles
Chilli
Rice
Noodles
Jelly
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# NOM!!
Erdnussflips? They smell of beerfarts

(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# If I had them back in the Muttiland, I was unaware.
Nomnomnom, says I. Very nice. Tonight, for dins, I have some Polish noodle tomato soup thing. I bought it because the picture of it on the packet makes it look like the innards of about ten mice in a bowl. MMMMMMMM Polish food.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# mmmmmmm
Be careful though, I think the polish word for "mouseguts" is "tomato"
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# There were some crackers, also
in Tesco, that promised 'LEGENDARY SMAK!'

Well, Legendarny, I think it was.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:43, archived)
# hmm Smak is flavour
Leg and darning thread crackers mmm

I brought some Christmas lists lights to hang in my window at work but the plug is too far away/the cable is too short. So they are in a bag on my desk, looking pitiful. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:45, archived)
# Oh I know the Smak thing
I had to explain it to the wife.

:-( poor you and your lists lights.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:46, archived)
# Oh jesus
My fingers have a mind of their own
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:49, archived)
# It's why I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:44, archived)
# Are you having your woman's period?:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:34, archived)
# No, although someone should tell my tummy that
as I've got all of the pain, and nothing to show for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# Are you up t' stick?
Or have you eaten too many sweeties?
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:37, archived)
# Nah, and it's the wrong place for that
I'm having pre-period-pains. THEY DON'T FUCKING WARN YOU ABOUT THESE.

Ouch.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# I just did a very roadie thing I think you'll appreciate.
I made boiled heggles and had no hegglecup so I made one from gaffa tape:)
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# Wow, that's pretty impressive.
Know what else works? A 500mm socket.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# Or blutac
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Oooooooh, very good.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:44, archived)
# Tin foil works nicely too:)
and eggcups
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:45, archived)
# that's one fucking big egg.
what is it? a dinosaur? or mork?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:47, archived)
# slice the top off
a schwepps tonic bottole and invert it and glue it to the base that you cut off.

i will make a diagram brb edit :


(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# rargh
*stomps off into the ether*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# NO.
Come back.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# oh alright then
*comes back with novelty Christmas flavoured coffee*

I hate Starbucks so much :(
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Christmas flavoured coffee?
Explain this madness.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Infused with the genuine christmas flavours of manger, myrrh and shepherd's socks.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# 1) take 1 cup of average starbuck's coffee
2) add syrup to it which makes it take of an appropriate Christmas type flavour such as Dark Cherry or Wrapping Paper or Cluedo or Eggnog
3) sell it to me on the advice of my little sister who is clearly easily mislead and also a slave to novelty.
4) get charged a lot of money for it and also feel like a twat when you have to ask for a grande which means small
5) don't be surprised when shit coffee + pointless novelty flavour is not good
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# I thought "Tall" was small
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:43, archived)
# possibly
I found the whole experience a trifle disheartening but my little sister was walking into town with me while I went to work and she assured me that it would be good and that it would make me feel Christmassy even though I was going to work...

I feel cheated.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:46, archived)
# The only thing I ever drink in Starbucks is tea
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:53, archived)
# They usually get a raised eyebrow from me
and an 'big 4 shot Americano please. Well as big as you do, then. No, we're in England, the word is '.....BIG''
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:44, archived)
# I'm very lucky
there's a great independent coffee shop just over the road from me and they make incredible coffee and use illy beans and all the staff and lovely and they play good music...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:49, archived)
# What does Christmas taste like?
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# sour and bitter
well for me...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:43, archived)
# pine sap and dried fruit
and cinnnamon
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:47, archived)