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# Ladies and Gentlemens, a moment of silence please


My poor long suffering lexmark printer has finally succumbed to printing blight.

We had so much fun together, printing letters, and bits of books and little photocopies of £5 notes for putting on the floor with a message on the other side of 'BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, TWAT'

bye bye little printer, I don't know how I'll do without you.

*sniff sniff*

Anyway, I'm going to the shop tomorrow to pick up a new printer so fuck that old heap of shite in the ass.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:57, archived)
# What has fallen from the undercarriage of that man?
He needs his perineum replaced.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:58, archived)
# he has leaked coolant
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:00, archived)
# LEXMARK lol1111oneoneone111!!!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:58, archived)
# OMGLOLZORBRANDNAME!!!one!!!!fourtythree!!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:00, archived)
# I have 2 Epsons the better of the two is idle at the moment as I can't afford the ink for it - lol
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:06, archived)
# I can't be without a printer
I'm currently pissing loads of job applications out.

or rather I was. :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:08, archived)
# :( snifflecry.
I just walked downstairs to see the deep frier on the hob smouldering. Some dong left it there and accidentally turned on the hob. The house smells of burnt plastic. I don't like the smell of burnt plastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:58, archived)
# tasty nutritious burnt plastic :(
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:59, archived)
# I went for a walk around the block to air out my lungs. I had a cigarette.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:00, archived)
# hang on
someone left an unnattend deep fryer on a hob?


this is a great way to cause death.

that it reached the point of burny plastic.

this is bad, man, bad.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:02, archived)
# I know. Everything smells. I'll receive the blame, I am sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:03, archived)
# if someone left something like that
and blames you

the response is "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU WERE FUCKING DOING YOU STUPID FUCKING TWAT, YOU FUCKING LEAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT UNATTENDED? YOU WANT TO FUCKING BURN TO DEATH? ARE YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING STUPID? FUCKING HELL? YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT"

and then become abusive.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:05, archived)
# RETORT NOTED.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:06, archived)
# QUITE SO.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:07, archived)
# I once
Put someone's toaster on (the very) top of the oven then melted it while making toast on the grill. I offered to replace it but she was far too reasonable about it.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 1:55, archived)
# WE LIVE IN A DISPOSABLE SOCIETY
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:59, archived)
# thank fuck for that
or I'd get into trouble for the way I got rid of those orphans
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:59, archived)
# TASTE THE PAIN
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:01, archived)
# OH YEAH BABY!
*REACHES FOR THE SKY*

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:02, archived)
# OH NOES YOU BROKE THE PRINTER :(
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:59, archived)
# NO IT SELF BORK :(
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:00, archived)
# NO YOU BROKE IT. LIES! THE POOR BABY PRINTER
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:03, archived)
# BUM OUNCES!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:05, archived)
# I have a Failmark too.
I'm trying to decide whether it would make more sense to have it repaired, or buy a new printer.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:05, archived)
# New printer
it's far cheaper to get a good new printer than it is to repair a broken old one.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:07, archived)
# It's far cheaper to get a new printer than a full set of ink cartridges these days :(
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:14, archived)
# That's so very true
as I was saying above I have a very good Epson printer but the inks are £60 quid.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:15, archived)
# no point trying to repair it
unless it was expensive.

as in, more expensive in printer replacement than in person use.

the parts will cost something insane on their own anyway.

I'm just gettting somethign cheap an nasty, when I have some pennies I'll get something nice and shiny :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:12, archived)
# As a replacement, I suggest one of these:
www.xerox.com/digital-printing/printers/digital-press/docucolor-6060/enus.html
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:07, archived)
# yeah, the problem with those is when i try and print money on them they go into fault mode
and I have to get an engineer out

and like, lol, he phones the police.

so like, I have to murder him between fixing the printer and phoning the police.

and I'm limited in space for disposal of printer engineers.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:11, archived)
# You could jam the engineer's body into the
spaces between the mechanism of the printer/photocopier. Some blood may get on your paper but you could say it was an arty effect.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:14, archived)
# maybe I could be like, the new damien hirst
only I could show broken industrial reprographics machines filled with decomposing printing engineers

and like, I could cut them in half and put them in a transparent vat of formaldehyde

art, man. nothing less.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:17, archived)
# *sads*
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:18, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 0:23, archived)