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# Humpty Dumpty was a cannon.
Not an egg.

Apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:32, archived)
# 'tis true
used against Oliver Cromwell I believe
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:33, archived)
# did they drop it on his head?
(I helped save b3ta! SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:09, archived)
# it was on a tower
and when the troops laying seige to the castle asploded the tower, it fell and broke. The cavalry (all the king's horses/men) tried to repair it but couldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:13, archived)
# yup..which split during the Civil War

i think
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:34, archived)
# WHAT A FUCKING GAY NAME FOR A CANNON.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:34, archived)
# Pfft!
Yeah, they should have called it Hendick McNasty instead or something!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:35, archived)
# yeah, doomfire or something sounds cooler
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:35, archived)
# Or Bastardcock
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:36, archived)
# i prefer "war bastard"
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:37, archived)
# FUCKBOOMRAPIST.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, archived)
# AWRIGHT LADS!! WHEEL OUT THE FUCKBOOMRAPIST!!!!
Seriously, who's gonna stand around when they know the FUCKBOOMRAPIST is about to be let loose?
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:39, archived)
# SOLDIERS!
COCK THE FUCKBOOMRAPIST!

Yeah, you're right, that does work :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:40, archived)
# PERZACKLY!
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:41, archived)
# You may know this as the FUCKBOOMRAPIST
And I can't remember whether I fired six shots or just five ...
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:45, archived)
# HAHAHA
Dirty Harry woulda had soooo much more punch if he used a FUCKBOOMRAPIST.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:46, archived)
# What about
The Cunterupper?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, archived)
# "Nasty Metal Killing Bastard" has a certain appeal, no?
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, archived)
# "metal doom tube of death" anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:46, archived)
# Haha this^
Especially if it was a 16th century cannon a massive bloke carried around like a minigun.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:42, archived)
# TFU.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:43, archived)
# bastardcock sat on a wall
bastardcock had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put bastardcock tgether again
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:42, archived)
# But that is a moot point.
If it were called Bastardcock it never would have broken!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:43, archived)
# au contraire
it cites a tourist board pamphlet, highest of reference sources.

I agree, it's not a terrifying name for a weapon. They should have called it "Steve".
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:51, archived)
# I call bullshit on this
and all popular historical explanations of nonsense rhymes and other expressions (brass monkeys, ring-a-ring-o-roses about the plague, etc.)
I'm a bit too lunchtime-drunk to find references properly, but it's Googlable.
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, archived)
# Whoops!
First Google hit: www.indianchild.com/history_origins_nursery_ryhmes.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:40, archived)
# Yes, I know it's a popular story.
That page doesn't seem anything in the way of actual references, though, it just asserts it. Wikipedia lists several other explanations, probably all equally bullshit.

And Humpty Dumpty is a gay name for a cannon.
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:47, archived)
# tits, this was meant for here
www.b3ta.com/board/9252279
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:57, archived)
# Indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:41, archived)