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# Can I have some morphine please?
When they gave me morphine last time I was in hospital, I was like, WOW! THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME! GIVE ME MORE MORPHINE! and my male nurse who looked like Turk was like totally No man, you can't have more, and I was like totally YOU LOOK LIKE TURK! I LIKE TURK! BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU WON'T GIVE ME MORE MORPHINE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:33, archived)
# Of course you can have morphine. Morphine for everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:36, archived)
# Ah man!
You're totally better than Turk Nurse! Now all you have to do is move to either Queen Mary's in Sidcup or Queen Elizabeth in Woolwich and we're totally on!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:37, archived)
# When I did my first job I was desperately hoping it would be like Scrubs. My initials are JD and my best friend was black and doing surgery.
Sadly it was all boring instead like Grey's Anatomy :-(
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:40, archived)
# That sucks dude!
If you want excitement, seriously, move to a hospital near me. I am always getting into whacky scrapes! I think next time I will probably damage my legs in some way as they are totally overdue!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:42, archived)
# Good idea!
Sadly I'm stuck in Brum for the next 3 years but you're welcome to send me pictures of your injuries to keep me entertained.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:48, archived)
# What drugs do you give people when they get superglue on their fingers and then use sandpaper to remove some of it and it hurts like fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:44, archived)
# A drugs test.
You can take yours now.
Also, have some morphine. Everyone else is.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:45, archived)
# On the plus side I'm now missing a fingerprint
What crimes shall I commit using only my left forefinger?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:46, archived)
# Rapes
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:59, archived)
# Steal a thimble.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:10, archived)
# Or one of those monster finger puppets made of rubber.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:11, archived)
# Or Fingermouse.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:11, archived)
# Or a freakishly large straw.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:12, archived)
# No, no. no!
I know what you should steal!

A piece of string!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:12, archived)
# Oh wait!
You should totally steal loads of those jelly wedding rings! You can get like a thousand of those on one finger! That would totally be £10 of booty!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:13, archived)
# I like this idea most.
But I do like Fingermouse.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:21, archived)
# Then do it!
DO IT NOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:39, archived)
# Poke a badger to death.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:20, archived)
# That sounds dangerous.
Although you are a doctor...
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:24, archived)
# It's fairly safe as long as you remember to go for the eyes first.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:25, archived)