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hoorrah for dog bags

the balimac site is up! Not as good or comprehensive as it used to be but a nice pic on the home page

(

pep, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 4:46, archived)

More bunny abuse

Poke the bunny (not in the Mick Hucknall sense mind you)
www.platinumgrit.com/poke.html

www.pcola.gulf.net/~irving/bunnies/laser.html

(Pieforce, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 17:10, archived)

but

that's how it starts...

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 4:33, archived)

Where are the bunnies from irving?

I loved that site and it's not there!!! can someone email me at [email protected] and tell me where the bunnies are?

(judy, Sun 7 Jul 2002, 0:27, archived)

test

(

Kaiser, Wed 24 Jul 2002, 15:29, archived)

morality

a 'fanpage' for convicted armed robber and GBH pro Charles Bronson - which has a voting poll for which nonce you'd agree with Charles and like hung - poor old Gary Glitter comes top - even above Myra Hindley.

www.bronsonmania.com/poll.html

and it's serious.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 13:51, archived)

Trigger Happy Fox

OK, vote for Gary Glitter!!!

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 14:03, archived)

i did vote for gary

He let all us fans down.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 15:16, archived)

Can you help me? Are you from (short pause) my brain?

I just post up my M. Doughty Crab ... the Ex-Soul Coughing leader...!

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 13:11, archived)

Stupid dogs

Also a funny page
Giantschnauzers

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 14:57, archived)

just imagine if

a cat was real bad...

www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_415526.html

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:37, archived)

or...

if Britney Spears bombed the Sears tower... in the nude

the net would cease to exist as we know it.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:50, archived)

She deserves her own website... The greatest made-up Amazon reviewer ever.

About me: I am a retired nurse. I live in the mountains. Any other lonely folks out there can write [email protected]. Glory be to God in the highest.

"I am a retired nurse who lives a lonely life in the mountains. Some peoples lives have people in them. In other peoples lives the people just seem to fall away no matter what you do. No matter how hard you try to keep loved ones around because of this or that they fall away.

This CD helps through the lonely times. I like listening to it before the fire. I also like the version of "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens which I didnt think could be done better but I think Sam Harris really did it.

I recommend this CD to people reading this review. It helps through the lonely times."

" I find Mr. Harris' version of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" to almost be able to lift me out of my clinical depression it is so beautiful."

"I still like this CD but after a couple of months its not at the top of my playlist any more. I am a retired nurse who lives a lonely life in the mountains, and maybe thats just what happens. When I got this CD it was all I listened to, but now I sometimes listen to other things. I wish Sam was on MTV. Love Sarah "

" A Rollicking Adventure for the Hole Family "

Congratulations to Bastardizer for bringing this great woman to the world's attention.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:19, archived)

well she a URL on the B3ta board now

http://www.b3ta.com/board/1/0/8/6/

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:22, archived)

marvellous...

a beautiful moment.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:29, archived)

Why...

Im touched - I dont know what to say... I thought I would bring her to you good people, because she has always had a special place in my heart

(bastardizor, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 2:37, archived)

found this

here

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:59, archived)

also this

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:01, archived)

that is fantastic hair

is it sticking up for the same reason that it did in Something About Mary?

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:02, archived)

eek

there's loads of fantatic images on that site:

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:05, archived)

that site is

fantastic.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:07, archived)

i just sent them a note

to see if they want to play with us. i love their images lots.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:26, archived)

i like

this one the bestest

www.snakemountain.co.uk/animalmagic/playtime-of-twats.jpg

(bastardizor, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 3:25, archived)

Whoa

That Horseshoe crab has got trainers, probably because its blood chemistry is based on copper and not iron.

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:05, archived)

is that why

they've got that great blue blood that people keep sucking out of them to experiment on?

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:07, archived)

Yep

And they talk with a sort of Mexican accent, or a least the ones on Animal Magic did in the 70's. I think they are posionous except for the eggs which the Japanese eat, I'd expect.

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:12, archived)

animal magic

rocked. telly's shit now in comparison. when i lived in melbourne, some of the vietnamese fish shops had tanks of live horshoe crabs on the pavement. I often wondered about buying one as a pet, but i think i'd have been a bit scared it would grow to enormous size and attack me in the night.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:18, archived)

Horseshoe Crab

The Horseshoe Crab has got trainers on because it knows the COO!

(Nacho, Mother of Madness, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:35, archived)

Do horseshoe

crabs have claws? Can horse's really wear them - I think it would be a painful mess for both parties.

(Esteban, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 5:56, archived)

Trotter Magic

they have stylish trotters. You can make your very own trotters by wasting lots of brown packing tape - tape your little finger to your ring finger, carry on winding the tape round your hand to your wrist, and then tape up your middle finger and index finger with your thumb taped underneath them. Keep taping until all skin is covered...and voila! A magical trotter hand. Try skinning up with both hands trotted up...a task and a half

(Nacho, Fri 5 Oct 2001, 8:58, archived)

There were loads of Krill on TV last night

Over billion of them I think, although one very lucky one had loads of close up shots. He won't be able to anywhere in the Antartic ocean with out being recognised now.

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:42, archived)

yup, i saw the krill

they were pretty cool. i wish i was see-through like that. is anyone else here see-through? if so, how do you do it? The penguins were dead hardcore. Did you see them torpedoing out of the water and whizzing up onto the ice? cool. I wish I could do that too.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:47, archived)

Sinister?

Krill

krull

do the krills have those spiky things then? or are the spiky things made of the krills? or do the krulls use the spiky things to get the krills?

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:50, archived)

They ruled

They made epic penguin noises as well, awsome stuff. If I was a Penguin I wouldn't be so sparing with that noise I'd do it all the time probably.

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:50, archived)

i loved

the way the emperor penguins spend the entire winter standing around in incredibly cold temperatures looking miserable. Bet they spend months just standing there saying "fuck"

(

crab_bloke), Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:57, archived)

Yes

If they had a little camping stove then they could make hot drinks, that would cheer them up. And a cake that would be nice.

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:02, archived)

maybe we should send them some magazines...

nothing else to do, all the "birds" have bugger off to a Penguin Ibiza, for the winter.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:10, archived)

David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist And I have the proof

http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/index.shtml

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:30, archived)

this has got to be taking the piss

amazon readers reviews on david hasselhoffs albums. very funny.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:09, archived)

those reviews are

the words of genius

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:14, archived)

sadly

amazon.dk doesn't yet exist otherwise you could see a serious version.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:15, archived)

however - amazon.de calls it

EIN GENUSS!!!

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:20, archived)

but one translates thus

In/rezensentin/Rezensentrezensentin/Rezensent in/rezensentin/Rezensent: from Germany
If one regards this CD von Hasselhoff, then its qualitative deficits become quite clear concerning its singing art. The album is to be hardly still over-bid at Simplizitaet. The probably largest proof is the song " DO the Limbo dance ", which at Einfaeltigkeit no more is not to be over-bid. This factory has the musical predicate of a dried roasting herring and is compared with other musicians such as Celine Dion or Whitney Houston an offense. Even Madonna offers qualitatively better music as Hasselhoff.Mein taps: To CD always equal a packing headache tablets buy, because only so one can bear this music.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:24, archived)

Germans hate Hasselhoff shock! UK thinks he's great!

well, that's a turn up for the books. BTW I am getting totally distracted here - I am trying to research hassellhoff facts for work... and now... I'm buggering about translating german record reviews... grrr.... you b3ta kids.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:28, archived)

On the subject of amazon reviews...

Dont know if you will have seen this one already...

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0595094724/104-1130672-9980719

(bastardizor, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:28, archived)

and then

check out one of the reviewers - bangs on about the retired nurse thing a bit. Very funny but probably a hoax...

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/cm/member-reviews/-/A1I8POS5UKVUP7/1/ref=cm_mp_rv/104-1130672-9980719

(bastardizor, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:31, archived)

i remember him on light lunch.

Some kid asked to go swimming withh him but he said "I've got something better" and gave a signed photo. At the end of the show he proceeded to give everyone in the audience a photo - thus making the sentiment worth even less.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:19, archived)

Sad thing is

I actually have one of his albums.
OK - my girlfriend won it at a eurovision party, but even so. It is a german import and has a particularly fine track called 'keep the jungle alive' complete with jungle sound effects in the background. It implores the kids to 'keep it alive'.

Aargh. Now I've been searching amazon for Hasselhof stuff, it is recommending me all sorts of shite, esp:

the best of nimoy and shatner

hmm - it has the 'ballad of bilbo baggins' on it. If you've not seen the video for this, you are in for a treat.

(

chthonic, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:49, archived)

Crazy Cow Guy

Has too much time on his hands...

ortech-engr.com/pecans/cows.html

(

randomisgood, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:46, archived)

but this person has too little

http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/9548/opening.html

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:56, archived)

Thats Great..

But honestly .. what about Bob a Job Rob..??

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:57, archived)

Is he shy

Why can't we see his face ??? Does he have a cheese head as well ???

(Jodrell, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:04, archived)

Rob..? I darnt ask..

about your helmet.

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:05, archived)

rob, and his friend

have nice helmets thanks

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:11, archived)

i liked that ad...

... despite it being for GAP. it was sweet.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:45, archived)

me too.

You're a good dancer.

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 11:13, archived)

BOB A JOB ROB

Our fearless leader Rob.. (a bob a job) Dresses to Please.. £40 a hour..

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:33, archived)

rob is not leader.

you haven't met number 1. or number 2 or 3 for that matter.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:03, archived)

no one has

they live else where and speak in tongues. I've heard it said they look like the blode however.

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:07, archived)

pep is senior in the elite b3ta corps

s/he's allowed to get new pencils from the cupboard without asking.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:11, archived)

am I?

LET US ROCK.
C'mon! Woo!

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:16, archived)

head of cheese

http://www.museumofcivilform.com/Exhibitions/benitofabricati.html
Cheese induced madness

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:32, archived)

inside the head of cheese

is david copperfield - hence his orange colour.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:34, archived)

oh my god

I think this is the head of many a celebrity. Geri Halliwells for sure.

. Nicey! Make a us an orange celeb out of straws. Go on
:)

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:04, archived)

Not enough straws

I only have 8 capri sun straws and a bit of a chewed one right now. I need to get some more in.
Arn't those yellow things wotsits that have had a coat of polyurathane varnish?

(

nicey, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:18, archived)

I think they are

dagnabbit - I wanted a Geri out of straws. She's only small... Hmmm. We need to get the artiste new tools methinks.

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:25, archived)

dont know if any of you are

members of the london camera club - but they have fanastic christmas parties...

www.londoncameraclub.on.ca/events/2000/Christmas/christmas.html

(bastardizor, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:16, archived)

to woman bottom right

would appear to have recieved booze and pornography and thus is pulling an expression exactly half way between disgusted and delighted.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:21, archived)

well, i thought it looked more like

she was testing the magnetic attraction 'twixt her camera and the ginger ale

(bastardizor, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:23, archived)

i love them

and want to be their friends. i love the canada dry lady.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:01, archived)

apologies

I laughed too hard at Canada Dry lady & the porn comment to think of anything to say.
Except for the fact that she is my mother.
So like, thanks.

(

pep, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 10:06, archived)

GUESS WHO IT IS.. ????

GUESS WHO IT IS.. ????

and Ill give you a copy

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:44, archived)

Richard James

The aphex twin.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:47, archived)

the bottom one looks

like aphex twin. dont think it is though.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:48, archived)

damn beaten to the post

i'll change my guess : jimmy krankie

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:49, archived)

I'm sure it is...

... they are the same pics that illustrated an interview with him in this weeks NME. Good interview BTW.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:56, archived)

stopped reading nme when they put starsailor on the cover.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:57, archived)

only bought it this week ...

... 'cause it came in a shiny silver cover. mmm... must buy shiny things.

(

rob, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:00, archived)

i always buy food

that has happy faces shapes. i want to live in nintendo world.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:03, archived)

Happy Shapes..

Man thats weird.. I too like shiny happy things..

but then again.. I also love big tits..

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:21, archived)

this for you then

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:28, archived)

Too Small.

Thanks but.no beestings

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 9:37, archived)

The Entire Family !!!

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:34, archived)

argh!

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:40, archived)

Its your dad !

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:32, archived)

stop that

you are frightening me.

(Esteban, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:34, archived)

got any sisters..?

do you have any sisters I can play with..?

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:38, archived)

Hey good looking..

wanna dance ??

(Ix the Wiz, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:30, archived)

space monkeys

http://ham.spa.umn.edu/kris/able.html

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 8:09, archived)

testing

wooo

(

buttercup, Mon 15 Oct 2001, 5:54, archived)

what time is it mr panda

http://www.alles.or.jp/~mameo/panda/Clockwork.html

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 7:46, archived)

what the

hell is going on here

(Esteban, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 7:53, archived)

pandas fab

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 7:56, archived)

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