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Ditch that turkey!

(BïF, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:31, archived)

Apparently if you wear glasses your life is fucked

http://www.messagizer.co.uk/campaign/bauschflash.html

(human, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:55, archived)

And

if messagizer ever get hold of your email address you're fucked too.

(

mrbrong, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:13, archived)

They shouldn't spam me with this crap then

I quote:

"A tale of Sex, Intrigue, and PureVision. One man must choose the way he sees the world - but will his choice be the right one? And will he get the girl?"

For gawds sake...

(human, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:22, archived)

I quite liked it

it was sweet.

(

rob, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:56, archived)

Your buddy and mine!

...christ!

(ozy, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:47, archived)

Wow

A cool jesus. It just so cheesy it great. Not everybody has a "buddy" like jesus. None of my friends wink and do the gun thing.
It looks as tho u cud fit a proper gun in his hand tho. Then it would look like a threating jesus and perhaps not be so cool but psychotic jesus instead.

(Twisted_Becca, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 16:40, archived)

I'm off on my hols

So I'd like to wish you all a Happy Chrismas for making me laugh when I'm supposed to be working and for keeping me in enough surreal humour to last me a life time (Rob & Joel) You are Stars and I'll see you up the Winchester gate at New Years!!

(

Ted, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:46, archived)

Ah gee shucks

Thanks for that Ted. Have a luvly chrimbo.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:10, archived)

dizzy hitler

disappointment.com's latest offering:

dialspace.dial.pipex.com/town/avenue/rdd18/dizzy/

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:45, archived)

Llama Lord get in some last minute shopping before his birthday..

(

kplex, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:39, archived)

Is he at castle court?

or singing outside the city hall?

(

Wifey, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:09, archived)

Yep, he's about to pop into the Gadget shop

(

kplex, Fri 21 Dec 2001, 3:14, archived)

Next years new saying 'Christ on a Segway'....

(

kplex, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:23, archived)

you can see it in his eyes...

"quick, take the photo before I fall off this f***ing thing"

(sorgboi, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:26, archived)

that is

really, very special.

(

pep, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:26, archived)

That's superb

does it go across water too?

(

mrbrong, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:08, archived)

why cats don't drive...

(sorgboi, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:13, archived)

aww bless - is he all sleepy?

he looks tired...

(

pep, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 11:27, archived)

feels like me

this morning.. hungover perhaps!

damn this christmas malarchy

(sorgboi, Fri 21 Dec 2001, 3:53, archived)

professional llama seeks partner

gsoh, non-smoker, lives alone. applicants must understand llama's needs, be sensitive, and hairy. no canvassers please.

(sorgboi, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:16, archived)

jack in the box deluxe

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:15, archived)

imagine working here...

http://www.industrialspringflorida.com

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:00, archived)

You should all watch this

it's great.
Woo Clicky

(thellama73, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:47, archived)

er... not sure about that

the dreadful music makes it comicly po-faced.

(

rob, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:55, archived)

I thought for

a horrible minute they were going to play "Don't fear the reaper"

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:37, archived)

he's

controling my mind! Make him stop! Make him stop!

(redifusion, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:33, archived)

it looks like...

he's been the victim of the phantom paw amputator

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:45, archived)

Quick

use the foil..

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:47, archived)

This'll stop 'im

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:57, archived)

yeh!

but this ones hollow inside....

(redifusion, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:18, archived)

Amputee cats

I love them, all that limping..I'm sure he hangs round the back of the Winni.

(

Ted, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 10:21, archived)

The David Icke song

I try to make words for David Icke song, but brain no work good (too many TVR's last night. TVR=Tequila, Vodka, Red bull).
If you good folks can finish off the lyrics then I will have a go at recording it over the christmas break. Here's what i've got so far...

MAD, BAD, OR JUST PREPARED TO GO WHERE OTHERS FEAR TO TREAD?
Chips or dad? I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Can’t you see you’re a child of the matrix?
I’m a truth junkie and man I need a fix.
This hedonistic world just wants to party
But we’re all ruled by reptilian illuminati.
Listen to me, I’m the second coming.
Now hear the funky bass and the breakbeat drumming.

p.s. Do you think David is reading any of this in anticipation of his interview. Hi David if you're out there.

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:32, archived)

Lizards

Are you a Lizard?
Is he a Lizard?
They're blood drinking lizards if you have to ask me.

She's a lizard
And we're all lizards
They're all fucking lizards - i'll tell you that for free

Where's the Lizard?
There's the Lizard
They're all bloody lizards - lizards everywhere.

and so on.

(

rob, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:41, archived)

David

I'm David Icke I got a masterplan
My minds made up reptile in my hand
Gonna ditch the ball gonna take up God
Gonna smack yo bitch gonna give it hard
My name is known all across the world
By all the God preachers and the foxy girls
So when Icke's in town
Yo you better back down
Cos I bust yo ass

Cos I love you girl...

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 20 Dec 2001, 9:45, archived)

Bigger B

I once met an American rapper called "Bigger B" on a train in France. He looked like Ving Rhames/A bald Mr T. He also had an admirable appetite - they had a food trolley on the train and when it came to Bigger B said "What have you got?" to which the food vending guy said "Well sir, we 'ave ze 'am sandwiches, ze cheese sandwiches, ze mars bars, snickers, coke, red wine, white wine, croissants and pain au chocolat". "Yeah, that sounds good i'll take it" says Bigger B. "Take what sir?" says the refreshment dispensing Gaul. "All of it" says Bigger B and proceeds to buy the entire contents of the trolley and then sits there and scoffs the lot in about ten minutes.
Anyway I think we should try and track him down and see if he'll do a bit of rapping for the next "Giant Bee" and/or have a "Giant Bee Vs. Bigger B" fight of some sort.

Here's a pic of Ving so you get an idea of how he looks...