For one day of the year, on 9 September (9/9), everyone should talk about themselves in the third person. Talking about yourself in the third person is great fun, and gives you ultimate power:

OLD: "I'm leaving you, Ted. It's over."

That's not going to work. Ted's just going to spend hours talking you round, even though you know he'll never really change. Try this:

9/9: "Deborah is leaving you, Ted. It's over."

I mean, there's no way Ted's coming back from that.

And see how emails are beefed up:

OLD: "I really need those quarterly sales figures by noon."

Pah! That's just too easy to ignore. Try this:

9/9: "Steve needs those quarterly sales figures by noon."

Who could ignore that? *Steve* needs those figures! (If you're not called Steve, it's important you use your own name.)

And think of all the other benefits. Like, a safer society...

SCENARIO A:
"Hello?"
"I'm watching you through the window"
Result: intimidation.

SCENARIO B:
"Hello?"
"Andrew Jones is watching you through the window"
Result: miscreant arrested.

So join Ian in a day of talking in the third person. Ian insists. Ian thinks this is a great idea.

Olembe Refuses to write in this space

....and I am a peeping tom. (part time)

AgeOwns Has just started Geocaching