The single greatest letter of complaint to a car rental company, ever
I made this!
"See that battered old roller skate? The one with only three wheels someone's just pulled out of a swamp? That's your car, that is. A car constructed from tinfoil, sticky tape and the tormented souls of the dead."
1. Hire a car
2. Discover that it is, in fact, constructed from tinfoil, sticky tape and the tormented souls of the dead
3. Ask for your money back
4. Ask for your money back again
5. Resort to sarcasm, LOLs and TEH INTARNETS with references to: Alexei Sayle, Back to the Future, History Today, Jeremy Clarkson, Adolf Hitler, the Incredible Hulk and ...err... Cheryl Cole.
"I bet you've never driven any car, knuckles white against the steering wheel, screaming "AAAAARGH! NO BRAKES!" at a red-faced, uncomprehending cyclist sweating like a transvestite in Marks and Spencer.
6. Post letter. Wait for reply.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:08,
Reply)
Well you can report them to the trade standards
www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/
and if you're feeling strongly in the right try and get a charge back on your credit card.
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Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:26,
Reply)
It's still early doors for that kind of thing
But yes, that's all lined up and ready to go
TEH LULZ first
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:43,
Reply)
fair enough
being silly is always good.
Here's 2 useful links.
1) How to do a EECB (Executive Email Carpt Bomb) consumerist.com/2007/05/how-to-launch-an-executive-email-carpet-bomb.html Make sure your emails get to the top of the company food chain.
consumerist.com/2010/07/six-ways-car-rental-companies-can-get-tricky.html It's about US rental agency's but some might help you get in the mind of the UK ones.
*edit ( .blogspot is blocked at work so I can't see the post so I don't know who you've emailed)
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Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:28,
Reply)
It's directed at the MD
Here is is on Google Docs
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34,
Reply)
I'll stop trying to help now
You've obviously on top of it all.
Good luck.
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Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:08,
Reply)
"On pills foer me neeeerves!"
I'm gonna start putting that in my complaint letters... god bless Bobby Chariot
and you
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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 9:59,
Reply)
pffft
top letter, but legally, you should have stopped driving the car immediately on realising it had faulty brakes, but good luck with it all the same!
.
Just keep the pressure on - you will get your money back eventually, especially if you start adding reasonable charges for your time, effort and out-of-pocket expenses in dealing with the problem (i.e. postage and stationery costs)
.
also - don't wait to write to Trading Standards and your credit card company, do it anyway and CC the car company in. Your credit card company is ultimately liable as you actually purchased the service from them!
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:21,
Reply)
Reminds me of
Newman & Baddiel's "History Today"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UMedd03JCA
(, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Heh heh
I have one of these that I sent to Barclaycard.
I'm betting I'm not the only one either. Perhaps there should be a QOTW based on shitty* sarcastic letters to faceless corporations (or is that too much like "Sticking It To The Man"?
*sorry, I meant shitty as in being shitty, not as in quality. Cos this is a VERY fine letter! Kerlick!
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MademoiselleDave is drunk and on the internet again on, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
"The single greatest letter of complaint to a car rental company, ever. I made this! "
It's nice to see you don't blow your own trumpet or anything ;)
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dirtyscarab intends to live forever. So far, so good..., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 0:59,
Reply)
fnar fnar!
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dirtyscarab intends to live forever. So far, so good..., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 18:09,
Reply)