Abusing freebiesA friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
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lizard, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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According to a previous employerThese were the 'freebies' I and the other drones in the company were abusing.
1. Using company time to open our bowels.
2. Using company toilet paper to clean said movements from our persons after performing 1.
3. Drinking too much free tea and coffee. Apparently 2 cups a day was seen as adequate, the 6-7 I was drinking was pure avarice.
4. Using our allotted lunchbreak to have lunch. It would seem that offering an hour off in the middle of the day was simply a gesture, which we were not meant to take seriously.
5. The employee rest area (a few chairs and a table in an ex-janitorial closet) was apparently also for show or for rests that didnt last longer than 5 minutes.
One employee decided to get the better of the 'rules' regarding coffee consumption and availed himself of a mug which held a similar quantity to a domestic fish tank.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 9:14, 5 replies)
YOU GET A FUCKING HOUR????You fucking militant trade unionists are bringing down the country with your tea breaks and your HOUR LONG lunches and your company toilets... in my company we have to shit out of the window...
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 9:20, closed)
its longerwe get min 30 mins between 11.30-14.30 but you can take all of that... 3 hours in the local - time for at least 6 pints, but our record is 11!
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 10:03, closed)
lunch breaksAll we get here is 30 minutes :(
The boss is ok about time off etc. though (he let me take the day off on one occasion when I asked if he needed me in or could I stay home and get seriously sexed up instead)
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snee held his breath since, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 10:22,
closed)
Lunar JimI think you might be my new fave QOTWer
Ever since you coined the line "... while the stern matron shoved the lozenge up my chutney chute" from the 'getting told off as an adult' question I have sought out your QOTW answers the way a ravenous dog might seek a meaty bone.
More of this sort of thing :D
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Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 11:00,
closed)
Thank you Droog.Good to hear you're entertained by my little anecdotes.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 16:21, closed)
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