white supremacists freebie
Billy Jo Bob and Deekus were sitting round in their pointed hoods and drinking moonshine. Billy put down his Martin Luther King voodoo doll and turned to Deekus: "God daaaamn, man. We ain't had a cross burnin' for months now - not since Bubba got sent down for a stretch. Why don't we go down to Ol' Man Thompson's store and get us some wood."

So the two men went out to the pick-up - still wearing their hoods - and drove down the road apiece to the store. But Ol' Man Thompson was off sick, having caught his beard in a combine harvester and had his face ripped off. "That's the third time he done that," opined Deekus.

Manning the store was Thompson's assistant, Washington DeLorean, a man of colour. Seeing the two hooded men walk through the door, he knew what he had to do.

"Well if it isn't Washington," sneered Deekus. "Last time I looked, you was white!"

"And last time I looked, you were a redneck pindick bastard," thought Washington (who had not yet garnered the concept of the customer always being right). "What can I do for you gentlemen? Some beams for a cross, maybe? I got two left and you can have 'em for free."

"You goddamn right, DeeLorean. Now hop to it and load them beams on to our pick up while we look through these here girly magazines."

Washington did as he was bidden, and settled down to watch the news later that evening. He was not remotely surprised to see a story about two local 'tards in pointy hood blown up in a petrol explosion. He was not surprised because he had sold them the last two remaining beams from Ol' Man Johnson's petrol station forecourt, soaked with 30 years of petroleum drips and just begging for a match to be applied.

"How 'bout some more of that ebony lovin'?" said Billy Jo Bob's ungrieving girlfriend, making a grab for Washington's enormous phallus.
(frankspencer, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 12:47, 3 replies)

Fantastic last-second
application of sexual content there. I was worried this might not have any in it at all...
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 13:30, closed)

Ah, so you're opting for the 'twist in the tail' ploy now?
Excellent, a constantly evolving literary style will always keep us wanting more.
A bit like an emaciated Brazilian prostitute after having done 6 tricks, but knowing she has 3 more to go.
(Vic Flange, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 16:26, closed)

This story is true
I remember seeing it on the BBC News website.

Lost the link unfortunately.
Honest.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 11 Nov 2007, 15:57, closed)