Not Many People
.
Can claim that they've been bitten and mauled by a lion and lived to tell the tale.

Well I have.

Want to hear the whole story?


Edit:

OK. Here's what happened. It's a bit crap but it does mean that I can tell the tale in pubs about my lion experience.

It was when Lambton Lion Park (is that still going) had just opened in the early '70's and the Legless clan descended on it. It was a bit crap. I mean, rainy North_east England is no match for the majestic savannah of Africa - even if you do paint your Land Rovers to look like zebras.

As part of the park they had a petting zoo. And in this zoo they had some 6 week old lion cubs that we kids were allowed to hold. So there's me. A scruffy proto-Legless proudly holding a lion cub when it decided to sink it's teeth into my thumb (that's bitten by a lion) and then proceeded to suck the life out it. When it couldn't get any milk it registered it's disappointment by raking it's back legs down my arm (and there's the mauling). Almost raised a welt it did....

Cheers



Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:56, 18 replies)

You're not telling the truth!
You're lion!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:57, closed)

:)
Bet its mane-ly bull :)
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:58, closed)

Dear God..
You really are on fire today....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:58, closed)

Why don't I not believe you?
Do they have many lions in the North East of England?
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:59, closed)

Sorry for the puns
they are pretty Simbad.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:01, closed)

...
@ legless - of course

@ bgb - yes there are two at Alnwick and one at Corbridge - exciting I know!
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:01, closed)

..
Et tu BGB?

Here I go, week after week, working my fingers to the bone tapping at tales for your amusement and you *still* don't believe me?

Here's a hint. It was in the North East (of England) and it was about 1972 when the grim deed was done....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:03, closed)

Lambton Lion Park?
Perhaps?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:04, closed)

was it
in a famous seaside place called Blackpool?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:05, closed)

@Legless
I said why don't I NOT believe you, meaning I do believe you. Nothing would suprise me less if you had encountered and survived a lion mauling.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:05, closed)

tell us, then
But we'll know if you're li-on.

Li-on.

Geddit?
edit - shit, that was the first reply. I am having a bad day.

edit - although, if you're going to tell the story of 'the Lion and Albert', don't...
(jennymnemonic, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:06, closed)

Ooooh
We have a winner.

Lambton Lion Park it was....

Editing tale now...

Cheer
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:07, closed)

Will you be telling it
in the style of "The Lion and Albert"?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:09, closed)

Lambton lion park.
My dad's girlfriends family lived near there and one afternoon a neighbour called to use the phone. She rang the lion park.
"Do you know where your rhinoceros is?"
"Er, we think so."
"Well you're wrong. It's in my garden and the bloody thing is eating my prize frigging roses."
It was herded back to the park with bin lids and tennis rackets apparently, poor half dead thing that it was. Totally docile and mostly bewildered.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:26, closed)

I've held a lion cub.
They bloody well stink.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:34, closed)

Lion poo
around your dope plants is rumoured (mythed a word?) to prevent rabbits and other animals from eating them. Hard to come by mind you...
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 14:38, closed)

@ mime
I was just at Edinburgh zoo and heartily disappointed that they've stopped sselling lion cack. (noticed it last time I was there circa 2001).

Never really looked into it but presumed it would scare something or other off your garden.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 17:08, closed)

Sir.
You are fucking awesome.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 17:49, closed)