Sheeeeeeeeep!
January 2nd 2000, Edinburgh. My kidneys still ached from the debauch of a couple of nights before - I had a vague memory of lights in the sky (fireworks, apparently...) and the blonde whose body I'd been exploring - but my head was finally clear. I decided to do a bit of hillwalking. I'm that way inclined on occasion.

My route took me into the countryside near Peebles. I passed a field full of sheep and stopped to go "Aaaaahhhh..." for a bit. The sheep were not shy; they did not run away. They approached. They were friendly. I stroked a couple on the head.

After a little while, I decided to press on. The sheep followed. Being sheep, they followed en masse. There must have been about 50 of them. And they were all following me. The farmer was approaching from the other side of the field. I upped my pace, unsure of whether I was, strictly speaking, on a public path.

The sheep matched my pace. I could not shake them.

Is sheep rustling still a crime in Lothian? Who knows? And is it sheep rustling if the sheep are complicit? Or had they simply formed themselves into their own ovine vigilante group? A sort of neighbourfold watch? Not wanting to find out, I upped my pace a bit more. Gradually, very gradually, I began to leave them behind, though they still followed me.

I passed the farmer. He was lovely, and we chatted about my planned route. He wished me well, and I continued on my way.

In the winter sunlight, all that clouded my happiness was the thought that, in effect, I had just had to run away from a flock of sheep.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:31, 11 replies)

you're a townie,
aren't you?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:33, closed)

Sounds like he is...
He shouldn't have stroked them.
Bad move.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:36, closed)

I was just about
to express a similar sentiment to CHCB, but she got in first!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:36, closed)

stroking sheep
should only ever be done as part of a courtship ritual, though round my way, the sheep like it rough.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:38, closed)

@Kaol
surely you mean "Baaaaaaad move"

sorry
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:38, closed)

@Al
GET OUT!
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:38, closed)

Ahhhh... that explains it.
It also explains all those text messages I've been receiving calling me a bastard, a user, and a threat to women ewes...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:41, closed)

^
*texts Enzyme*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:42, closed)

@ Enzyme
surely you mean "a baaaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaard"

/gets out
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:43, closed)

Hehe
What I wouldn't give to be followed around by flocks of sheep.

You lucky sonofa...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:43, closed)

Hehe!
I can visualize this so well and it's making me laugh. I also can hear the theme tune to Benny Hill for some reason.
( girlinthehole, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 15:26, closed)