What kills spiders?
I'm going outside to re-pot my tomato plants. I may be some time. There is a spider infestation out the front of my house. I have tried hot water, ant poison, weed killer, and running round screaming, all to no avail. If anyone knows how I can kill hundreds of the little fuckers, do let me know.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:36, 27 replies)

Petrol
And a book of matches.

Also, bug spray.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:37, closed)

Cats
Although they tend to grab one, play with it for a while, then get fed up and go off and wash their arse or something.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:38, closed)

The aerosol and lighter trick,
similar to petrol and matches, might work if it wasn't in such very close proximity to my house, and I can't remember where I put the building insurance policy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:39, closed)

I Know
lots of ways to kill creepy-crawlies but I'm loath to tell you as these are spiders.

Spiders are ace. They kill flies.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:39, closed)

How big are they?
And what colour?
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:40, closed)

I wouldn't try weedkiller again
your tomatoes will hate you for it. One whiff of glyphosate and they curl up and die. Even if it's outside the greenhouse.

Fussy buggers, tomatoes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:41, closed)

they may be ace
but there are feckin' millions of them. No way are there enough flies to go round. plus I hate them.

Small (one penny-sized in entirety) and browny-black. There are some big wolf mutafuckas too but I don't get close enough to them to suss them out.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:41, closed)

Do spiders
actually damage tomato plants? I would have thought having spiders would be good as they eat other bugs that might eat your plants.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:42, closed)

What you need to do then
Is to get some treacle, and pour it in lines where the spiders are.
They'll get stuck in it, the treacle will attract ants, which will eat the treacle and the spiders.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:44, closed)

hoover
hoover them good
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:46, closed)

^^ But
That's cruel, how could you suggest such a thing?
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:48, closed)

@Rswipe
But then you just have a hoover bag full of (mostly) live and pissed off spiders, which crawl back out again, covered in dust, and re-infest the house.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:48, closed)

*shoots Kaol with BB gun*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:48, closed)

*shoots Burt
With a harpoon.
In the knackers*
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:49, closed)

Not my knackers!
They're my favourite of all my glue makers!

*holds dying knackers in his arms*

NNNNOOOOOO....!!!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:53, closed)

Damn you Kaol
where will all the horses go to be turned into glue now?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:56, closed)

Hmm...
*coats spiders in baked beans, throws them at burt*
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 12:56, closed)

If you need glue, al
*spaffs*

You can't get me today, Kaol, I'm wearing my superspecialsecretbakedbeanreflectorshield belt.

Ha!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:01, closed)

Oh, bollocks...
*punches Burt in the nuts*
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:02, closed)

Get offa my KP Dry Roasted Peanuts!
*shakes fist*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:02, closed)

But it's lunch time...
I'm hungry!

*eats chcb's tomato plants*
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:05, closed)

Mmm...
nuts.

Now i'm hungry too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:08, closed)

For Fucks Sake..
You two, get a room.....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:10, closed)

Wanna join us?
We have nuts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:12, closed)

Nuts?
That's the problem
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:16, closed)

Allergic, eh?
If we rub our nuts on you, would it cause swelling? Because that may not be such a bad thing...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:20, closed)

Torture
Yes, torture. Capture a few and pull their legs off and burn them in front of the whole colony. The others may get upset and leave(or not).
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:53, closed)