Thief....
On one ship I was on we had a communal fridge in the "day room" where we could store our day necessities without having to go to our cabins to our own fridges.It was usually stocked with soft drinks, sandwiches purloined from the galley and treats bought onshore (cakes, sweets,frozen dinners- that type of thing). I never had a problem with theft until this ship where soft drinks disappeared at an alarming rate. The arse definitely loved my Dr Pepper.

We all tried to catch the arse but he was good, very good. We didn't even have a suspect and all the little things that made ship board life a little more comfortable were being stolen from right under our noses. We started leaving stuff in our own cabin fridges but that was a real hassle, having to change dirty clothes for clean ones before going into our accommodation to our cabins.

So I hit upon the idea of injecting some corrosive substance into my Dr Peppers.... and leaving it in the fridge. I gently froze a can to minus 20, drilled a hole in the base, drilled more to remove some of the frozen contents, filled up the hole with a generous amount of concentrated laxative from the sick bay and silver soldered the hole in the aluminium can.

Over two days I defrosted the can and left it with another couple in the day fridge.It didn't stand out too much even though it had a slight ripple in the casing.

Two days later the third officer(manned the sick bay) had a visit from the bo'sun who complained that he couldn't stop shitting and that every time he stood up from the toilet he filled his kegs with brown water. :)

For 4 days he was confined to the sick bay, insatiable thirst and continuous splatter and with the prognosis of extreme food poisoning. At the next port (Tripoi from memory) he was hospitalised ashore and eventually repatriated to some hospital in the UK to have a giant plug inserted in his rectum. Well I don't know about the plug but I do know the arse lost his contract and my Dr Pepper didn't disappear anymore.

And he doesn't know who did it!!!!

Length- long but necessary
(Jimmyinnz was sprung at work on b3ta on, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 8:06, 7 replies)

Ahhhh shipboard funnies.
*click*
( rgordon00, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 8:56, closed)

Good one

( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 9:29, closed)

Doc-tor Pep-per
What's the worst that could happen?


Have a click.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 19 Jan 2010, 11:07, closed)

The can
didn't explode in the freezer then?


Hmmm.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 11:26, closed)

Nope
If you chuck it the freezer and leave it it probably would explode, never tried it though. Chilled down to +2, then -1 in the commercial freezer. After quite a few hours to -5 then -20. Took over 24 hours. The can was rather tubby but no it didn't explode. I've just put a can of coke in the house fridge this morning, I'll report back if it explodes.
(Jimmyinnz was sprung at work on b3ta on, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 1:57, closed)

Ah okay then
My understanding of such things was always that when water freezes to a solid state, it expands, and in this scenario would result in the can being ruptured. I fail to understand how gradually lowering the temperature of the drink would make a difference. Might have to write in to Mythbusters with this one!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 9:06, closed)

I just want to get this one in first:
So; for four days, he was confined to the poop-deck?

(oh, and clicked, of course)
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 9:05, closed)