Meditation CDs
I went through a phase of trying money-making schemes, and the least successful was my meditation/relaxation CDs. I found some whale noise wavs on the internet and looped them for an hour. Over the top I recorded some encouraging, relaxing words every 5 minutes or so. So it would sound like 'reeeoarrr.... Roooo! Roooowwwaaar YOU'RE TIRED! YOU'RE SO SLEEPY, roooooarrr roooowaar YOU'LL BE WANTING TO FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW... Reeoooaw BE AT PEACE!'
I sold one on ebay - my plan was to undercut the competition by selling them for marginally more than the cost of the blank CD. The result was 15p profit, one negative feedback and the comment 'can't be bothered to return this'.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:55, 9 replies)

hahaha!
I like this. Although, the way you've written them it sounds like terrifying lion noises rather than whale
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:58, closed)

Excellent.
Clickin dis
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:03, closed)

I like this and believe it deserves a place on the popular page.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:09, closed)

Haha
I love "YOU'LL BE WANTING TO FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW"
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:23, closed)

I like
"BE AT PEACE" bit more funereal than soporific.

People can't ask for their money back if they have been subconciously encouraged to die.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:36, closed)

I read this in my mind
as you making ferocious lion-roaring noises and yelling "YOU'RE TIRED!" every five minutes, which triggered an officelol. "GO TO BED YOU BASTARD!"

Edit: mindpissed by Drimble.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 11:17, closed)

Do you still have some CDs lying about?
I really want to hear what it sounds like.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:03, closed)

ha!

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:37, closed)

I think this should be uploaded to Soundcloud

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:45, closed)