The flood twat.
You know the one. The one who keeps a kayak in his garage, not because he actually likes canoeing or even ever actually goes canoeing on rivers, lakes or the sea, but for when it floods, which, given that he lives in Shrewsbury/Tewkesbury/insert regularly-flooded town here, it will.

And then he can canoe down the street between the half-submerged cars, and get on the local news, or if it's a slow week, News at Ten.

Arse.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 13:30, 8 replies)

YES!
Absolutely this
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 15:29, closed)

It's you, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 15:35, closed)

Of course.
Much better than those clever people who just get trapped in their flooded homes.
These twats who actually make preperations -- how stupid they are!
Oh, no, wait: It's pretty fucking stupid not to buy some form of water transport if your home regularly floods. I would say the retarded fucks who struggle when it floods are the attention whores. The guy with the boat is just going on with life because he's not a fucking moron.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 16:05, closed)

Really smart people live above the flood plain.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 16:27, closed)

That much is true.
But I'd hardly call the more smart stupid people "attention whores" for being able to recognise a pattern and adapt to it.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 16:50, closed)

Oh, I agree.
I just like to feel smug about living up a hill.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 17:29, closed)

The thing is...
... kayak man has not prepared for the flood. He's prepared for the television cameras.

This is England, not Banglafuckingdesh. "Flood" in this case doesn't mean the very, very rare and not at all funny Boscastle style flash-flood. It means the fairly regular water about knee deep or less ruining people's carpets, on an entirely predictable basis you usually know about a day or two in advance.

The clever people are not "trapped in their flooded homes". They prepare by piling up sandbags, parking their car somewhere dry, buying some extra food in and turning off the electricity, and if they need to get about, they just wade. They don't go paddling down the high street in a buoyancy aid grinning like a cunt.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 17:25, closed)

look at you,
bringing logic into the equation and ruining the fun of the fuckwits.
(immadme, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 17:47, closed)