
Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.
Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU
( , Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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I once met a fellow in Sydney who did have the unfortunate name of Wayne Carr.
In the Navy you have the ranks of Seaman and Leading Seaman. Yes, I have met a Seaman Staynes and a Seaman Seamen. Shits and giggles over the PA for a Seaman Staynes.
A few years back there was a Minister for Racing in NSW whose name was Richard Face.
( , Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:16, 12 replies)

Our PE Teacher used to call us all Master smith or Master jones or whatever. there was a boy named Eoin Bates. true story- you can tell how it ended
( , Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:23, closed)

a Simon Staines. Our music teacher had an accent & insisted on being called "Master". His surname was Bates. His favorite student was Simon.
Music was funny for all except those 2!
True story.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 1:43, closed)

your teacher would be a wanker if he called himself that. No touching allowed! No sense of humour!
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:42, closed)

The unfortunate name I called out whilst doing the register for a brand new intake of secondary school students. None of them seemed to think anything of it. I couldn't see that lasting.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:04, closed)

Parents - they should be licensed to name children. Glad you kept a straight face.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:40, closed)

Like the idiots who named their kid Drew. Mr and Mrs Peacock showed themselves to be real morons.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:53, closed)

Mike Mouse. No, seriously.
Poor fucker...
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:44, closed)

My daughter had a teacher called Miss G Stringer, and I once worked in an office with a guy who insisted everyone call him Michael.. his surname was Hunt.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 6:27, closed)

I can imagine that guy saying his name very stringently and a teeny bit high pitched - "Michael, it's Michael".
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:14, closed)

with an experience of possible adolescent DIY sounding.
Names - hmmm, I once worked on a ward where in a sideroom there was a gentleman with a hugely inflamed testicle.
As staff tend to refer to patients by their condition - The Leg in bed 1, The Spleen in bed 4 and so on - the poor bloke was naturally known as The Goolie. This worked well until a Mrs Goolie arrived in the sideroom next door.
How long did it take for someone to call the bloke Mr Goolie?
Not long. Not long, at all. Poor man.
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 7:36, closed)

Wanklyn. Always introduced himself by his first name only, wonder why...
( , Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, closed)
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