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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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Juan Quar, have you posted to this tailor made QOTW?
I once met a fellow in Sydney who did have the unfortunate name of Wayne Carr.

In the Navy you have the ranks of Seaman and Leading Seaman. Yes, I have met a Seaman Staynes and a Seaman Seamen. Shits and giggles over the PA for a Seaman Staynes.

A few years back there was a Minister for Racing in NSW whose name was Richard Face.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:16, 12 replies)
Back in school
Our PE Teacher used to call us all Master smith or Master jones or whatever. there was a boy named Eoin Bates. true story- you can tell how it ended
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:23, closed)
ha ha. That is NASTY!

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:27, closed)

This really did happen.
(, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 12:53, closed)
I went to school with
a Simon Staines. Our music teacher had an accent & insisted on being called "Master". His surname was Bates. His favorite student was Simon.
Music was funny for all except those 2!
True story.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 1:43, closed)
I don't think
your teacher would be a wanker if he called himself that. No touching allowed! No sense of humour!
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:42, closed)
Ben Dover
The unfortunate name I called out whilst doing the register for a brand new intake of secondary school students. None of them seemed to think anything of it. I couldn't see that lasting.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:04, closed)
You would think the poor kid would call himself Benjamin.
Parents - they should be licensed to name children. Glad you kept a straight face.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:40, closed)
Like the idiots who named their kid Drew. Mr and Mrs Peacock showed themselves to be real morons.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:53, closed)
Went to school with a lad named
Mike Mouse. No, seriously.

Poor fucker...
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:44, closed)
Once shagged a guy named Chris Kraus. Once and only once.

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:51, closed)

My daughter had a teacher called Miss G Stringer, and I once worked in an office with a guy who insisted everyone call him Michael.. his surname was Hunt.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 6:27, closed)

I can imagine that guy saying his name very stringently and a teeny bit high pitched - "Michael, it's Michael".
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:14, closed)
I certainly have posted, possibly on the first page
with an experience of possible adolescent DIY sounding.

Names - hmmm, I once worked on a ward where in a sideroom there was a gentleman with a hugely inflamed testicle.

As staff tend to refer to patients by their condition - The Leg in bed 1, The Spleen in bed 4 and so on - the poor bloke was naturally known as The Goolie. This worked well until a Mrs Goolie arrived in the sideroom next door.

How long did it take for someone to call the bloke Mr Goolie?
Not long. Not long, at all. Poor man.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 7:36, closed)
Juan, you never disappoint. Thanks for the belly laugh.

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 7:45, closed)
Once worked with a guy called
Wanklyn. Always introduced himself by his first name only, wonder why...
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, closed)

Had a neighbour called paul jenner.

nothing to report really.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:38, closed)
I once did the books for
Chris Peacock!
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:28, closed)
Pre-me days
The wife went out with a bloke called Wayne King.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:55, closed)

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